The Sheet Nazi

The Sheet Nazi
6/20/13

The day is bright but the bedroom is dark. Small shards of light seep through the pulled shades. Mark just went to bed for the day to sleep since he is working nights at the butter plant. The fan hums in the background to drown out the construction next door.

I perch on the bed next to him for a bit while I think about the laundry I have to do that day. I look at the way he is lying in bed.

Me: I can't believe how you scrunch up those pillows when you sleep. They are relatively new pillows. I just bought them this year. No wonder they are shot already. You don't use them correctly.

Him: Yes I do.

Me: No you don't. They are in a little ball. Your head is supposed to rest on them. Not your elbows. To say nothing of the way the sheets are bunched up. I am surprised you can even sleep like that.

Him: You would have made an awful prison guard.

Me: What do you mean?

Him: With all of those inmates sleeping: you would walk by their cells and yell "What are you doing to those pillows!? And those sheets are a mess!"

Me: Why would you correlate that with prison?

Him: I have my reasons.