Missing Journal #1: Unnatural Birth

It is the Isle without purpose; that is what i call this place in which i eternaly linger. I do not live here because this is not a life and I am not living. This is space consumed by never ending emptiness, where black is all I am able to see, hear, think… feel. I can’t escape it. Like a pool of dark muck, seeping into every crevice of my wretched soul. Hopelessness and despair torture me and serve as proof that I am real; that I exist. Fear devours me silently each time I remember the endless punishment I face each moment within the vacant lot; An enigma within the grand architecture of the known universe. It's possible that it sits just outside the seven circles of Hell orbiting the levels as it mimics them with my torture. No, there was no reasoning for a consciance like my own to remain prisoner outside the realm of physical matter. Time itself is blind to the isle without purpose. My ungaurded cell with no walls, just a pure infinite void where nothing is, but me.

         I dont know how long I’ve been in this rotten chasm, but I don’t remember ever being outside of it either. I do know things exist outside this void, like trees, and rocks, and birds, and roads, and... life. Thinking of such beautiful things... a harsh mysterious sensation triggered a sudden reaction from me; from the body I may have. But there was no use in denying how numb, blind, and silent while engulfed in this black froth. So I close my wishful heart once more and linger there, the fear of endless lonesome tears at the roots of my sanity once more, and I try to focus on imagining a tear falling from sad eyes. Nothing comes to me. I have no idea what a tear looks like. Why do I even know that these things exist somewhere? How can i miss happiness so much but only know sadness? My emotions are getting more sensitive by the moment. Anger and confusion take turns fueling my attempts to rationalize it all. Where did I come from and why am I here? Panic overwhelms my thoughts and I scream deep inside the depths of my whithering spirit. Why?

"Kieron!"
         My eyes pop open and search the darkness, but that is all there is, darkness. I hope I am not beginning to go mad from my solitude. So I close my eyes slowly and return to my misery. “Kieron.” The whisper returns a little louder. I open my eyes again, this time a rush of excitement surges within me that I have not experienced in… God, I can’t remember. Desperately I peer through the dark space which surrounds me searching for the voice I undoubtedly heard. “Kieron.” The voice calls out, closer this time. I crane my neck and try my hardest to look through the infinite bleakness. “Kieron.” The voice is much closer now, maybe a few feet away. I now begin to writhe madly, trying my best to answer the voice. “Kieron!” It’s right in front of me! “Kieron!” I reach forward desperately, clawing at the emptiness.
“KIERON!” The tips of my fingers brush something in the black in front of me. It’s slimy and smooth, like the skin of a slug. I reach into the black again, this time with both hands landing on a large slick surface. I press my body against it and savor the feeling of slime oozing over my skin, the musty odor which fills my nostrils; even the salty taste of the slop gives me pleasure. All this time I’ve spent in a vortex of nothing; never seeing, feeling, or hearing anything and all of a sudden I’m hugging a wall covered in muck and hearing voices. It is the closest to true bliss that I have ever felt.
         My lips slowly curl into a smile and I contemplate leaving this horrid world which only offers pain, misery, and loneliness. A tear runs down my cheek as I see myself climbing a tree, swimming in the sea, petting a dog, running in an open field. I press my forehead against the squishy wall and sob joyously. My knees buckle under me and I fall to the ground… ground. My sobbing now turns to laughter as I realize there is a ground. I had never felt a ground before, at least not that I could remember. It is hard and cold and rough, I guess it is made of stone. I throw my head back and laugh, then lose my balance and fall backward onto the cold stone below me, still giggling.
“Stand up Kieron.” A voice says. It’s the same voice as before. A man’s voice, raspy yet strong, like an old lion in command of his pride. I try my hardest to stand, but my legs are weak. I stumble across the floor several times before finding and leaning against the slime covered wall as support, which wasn’t such a great idea, I realized, as my hand slipped and my knees bash against the stone. The pain is a welcomed sensation. Determined, I place my hands against the stone beneath me and slowly rise to my feet with the wobbly awkwardness of a new born fawn.
“Hello Kieron.” I look around but find only nothingness. But there’s something different about this nothingness, something about it that made it much less terrible. Then I realize: this wasn’t “nothingness” it was just dark. The difference being, dark isn’t necessarily empty. I am no longer in the world of nothing. I am in a world of existence, of matter, of life. I just can’t see it.
“Uh… nah blah!!!” I try my hardest to ask the voice its identity, but my mouth is still numb and my time in the nothing has left me unable to remember how to even make the words which urge to break from my lips.
“Sir! It is trying to speak!” another voice shouts from the dark. This voice is higher in pitch, than the first voice. It is also smooth and delicate, like the strum of a harp. It takes me a while to remember the title such a beautiful sounding creature, but then it hits me: Girl.
“Be quiet.” orders the man in a harsh whisper. “You may frighten him.”
“Sorry, sir.” I imagine the girl slinking away from her superior.
“Eh… ET… et” I shake my head in frustration, letting my mouth hang open and my tongue swing out. “Et ooo ki.” I say finally. I turn my head in the direction the girl’s voice came from and struggle to make more words. “I… I noot… ss… sscaret!” I stretch my mouth and tongue again. Then try my best to give a smile hoping they could see me even though I was blind to them. They must have gotten the message because the man began a hearty laugh so booming that it startled me and I fell backward against the mucus covered wall behind me. I
“Why, Kieron, was that a smile?” the voice asked. I looked in his direction and gave two big nods.
“Sir,” it was the girl again, she was whispering to the man very softly. “Is this really him?” I could barely hear her question, but it intrigued me nonetheless. Before I could try asking about it I heard footsteps coming towards me, large and heavy.
“Kieron, would you like to see where you are?” It was the man again; he was no more than an inch away from me. I felt his breath on my forehead; it was oddly cold, like an arctic breeze. I raised my head to him, and thought once more of seeing the world beyond. I smiled again and nodded my head furiously. “This may hurt a bit but we must do it now, there is no time left to waste.” He said.
The man clasps my head on either side, his massive palms centered on my temples. He begins to squeeze with tremendous force. I clutch his hands and attempt to pull them away but it’s a hopeless battle. He begins chanting in a low voice, squeezing tighter and tighter. I open my mouth to scream but only manage a weak squeal. He lifts me up slowly, chanting louder and louder. Soon my feet are dangling in the air and his voice is so loud it feels as if a hammer is being smashed against my eardrum.
I feel a sharp sting on the back of my neck and a shock run down my spine. Then my body begins to shake and tremble violently. Pain erupts within me as my arms and legs lose control. They start bending and twisting themselves into warped positions. My left arm snaps backward pulling my shoulder out of socket. I feel many of my fingers bending and twisting, breaking the bones.
As my body mangles itself like a possessed puppet, my eye sockets begin to burn terribly. They feel as if someone were pouring boiling oil into them. My head feels like it’s going to burst between the man’s powerful palms and my body feels like a rigid mass of unnatural distortion. It lasts only a few moments but they feel just as long and agonizing as the eternity I spent within that empty void.
As quickly as he began the man ceases his chanting and his hands slowly release my throbbing skull. My body goes limp and crumples like a rag doll as it hits the rocky ground below. My fingers and toes twitch slightly as I lay there, ragged and broken. The suddenness of such abuse and torment has obviously put me into shock because my body has grown completely numb and my mind is clouded by a growing haze of disorientation.
“Holly, wrap him up tight and take him to my quarters. Make him as comfortable as possible. I’m afraid the spell may have done more harm than I thought it would.” The man says as he marches past me. I hear a faint creaking sound as he opens a door and then a soft thump as it is closed.
I feel my conscience drift away slightly, like a small cloth caught in the breeze. My body wants me to let go, to rest, to sleep. My first instinct is to fight the urge but I then realize it may feel good to sleep after this whole ordeal, to be at peace for a little while. Just as I’m about to let myself go, I feel something, a hand. It cups my right cheek with a tender touch and lifts my head gently. This brings my awareness back from the brink somewhat. I hear chanting, soft and melodic. It envelopes me in a blanket of divine sound, soothing my injured core. The majestic tones seem to lift my soul from its fleshy prison, stripping me of any pain or discomfort that may have lingered.
The heavenly voice must be the woman from before, Holly. She continues chanting and the darkness that still envelopes my vision begins to fade away, like a thick fog separating as the sun rises. I see now a holy spectacle of white which leaves me stunned and breathless. For so long I have been surrounded by an eternal haze of black, praying for some kind of miracle. Now, as I lay there, a shattered mess, my bleak prison of darkness is replaced by a bright light.
The light radiates waves of pure white which reach the very rim of my visual boundaries. In the center of the light a faint golden circle pulses like the heartbeat of an angel. I focus on the golden circle in total amazement. Even though this is the first thing I have seen in an eternity, I know it is the most beautiful sight I shall ever behold. But it doesn’t last forever. As Holly slows her chanting, the light begins to fade. It dies down slowly, the waves of white and the golden circle both slip away from me. I try to call to them, but I can’t move my lips even the slightest. Eventually Holly’s voice fades away completely and with the silence comes darkness once more.