No One Kills Today

          I was reading " Leaving Las Vegas" by John O'Brien when no One came walking through the front door.

"Did you complete the mission?", I asked but I already knew the answer. No One has never disappointed me. When she did a hit, she does it betters than Any Body. Yeah, Any Body, what a waste of my time, never should have shown him the way of the kill.

          I put the book down and put all my attention on No One. With her looks that is not hard to do.

          " Yes sir, that industrialist from Texas will not be working for any industry. At least, not in this life", she replied in a calm matter of fact way.

I just nodded and gave her the thumbs up.

          " I will watch the afternoon news and wait for payment", was my only response on the subject.

" In the mean time, have the other half of my peanut butter and jelly sandwich", I exclaimed as I pushed the disposable plate that the sandwich was in. The gesture brought a smile to her face. When No One smiles it makes me feel great. It feels like everything is correct in the world.

          I knew I made the right choice to bring her home with me when I found her eighteen years ago today. She was in the backseat of her parents car covered in their brain matter and blood. She was not crying or making a fuss. My partner, No Body, called me over to take a look.

          " What should we do, No Man? We are not getting paid to kill three people", asked No Body.

"Damn straight. We only do the job we are getting paid to do", I replied.

I reached for the handle of the back passenger door and open it. I should have done my homework. The couple we killed was twenty one and twenty three years of age. I never would have suspected them of having a child. Not that would have stopped me from doing my job.

          What exactly is my job. Some say murder. Others say the devils work. I work in wealth retention. I am the best friend that wealthy business owners have ever had.

          Say someone owns a business. They start it from the ground up. They bleed for this business; startup loans, working longhours, raising money doing other jobs. It all works out, now they are millionares.

          Well one day, someone comes along with something better. Their business starts to suffer from the competition. They take it in the profit margins.

          That is where I, No Man comes in. They talk to me about their business problem. I jot down where the problem lives, eats, sleeps, and works. No further need for negotiations.

          Not as easy as it sounds. I can not make people disappear. That means I do not get paid. I make them go still and silent forever, where they can be found though.

          I want for the obits or the news to announce the find. Then I wait a week or two for my clients to pay me. This takes a lot of trust. I never again speak to my clients after the first and only meeting.

          Many times my clients are the first to be investigated for the passing away of the competition. Many clients are related to or are partners with the departed.

          I understand the need for patience. I understand the need for anonymity. I have picked my payments in foreign countries. I have to fish out my payments in burlap bags in sewer pipes. I get it.

          I have also had to do two free hits. The original hit and the second hit when a client wants to go clean and not pay up. This leads to the dreaded second visit. I remove their conscience with a .44 caliber bullet to the head. A clean soul on their part does not mean, I should not get paid.

          " Hey. Hey. Let me get your glass of milk", says No One snapping her fingers to bring me back from my daze.

          " Oh! Yeah here you go. Sorry about that sweetie", I reply and push my glass of soy milk towards her.

         " Sweetie! Are you going soft on me? Do I need to treat you like a liability", asks No One as she makes a gun shape with her right hand and points it a me. She makes a bang noise and blows the imaginary smoke away from her right index finger.

          " You do what you have to do. No Body would not blame you", smiling as I reply.

          " Of course, NoBody, would not blame me. I shot him dead two tears ago", she refutes my statement.

I just smile back. Yeah, I made the right choice when I took her in eighteen years ago today. She was two years old at the time. Happy Birthday, No One. Take a break and get some rest, No One.

Tomorrow, Some One dies.