Fatal Words

"When things are certain, there is a sense of calm that takes over your mind", I heard this before, at the time I was fifteen. One of my uncles was down with stage III Lung Cancer. Although not many in the family were surprised because apparently the man spent his every breath inhaling tobacco from those fatal sticks. I remember that during his final days I saw a profound calmness in him which forced me to ask him, "Aren't you afraid of your death" and he replied with those words which I recollect today. Two weeks after we attended his funeral and moved on with our lives.



At the age of fifteen I wanted to pursue a career in medicine, it wasn't influenced by any event in my life, but I just felt it was a profession best suited. Being a straight 'A' student throughout junior and senior years of High School, gave me the option to choose the college of my choice. For the reasons of proximity and convenience, I chose the one nearest to home. It was business as usual, every lecture and subject in the first year was aced, I kind of liked how it all worked out.



The second year of college was one of the defining years for me. Everything fell into place and I gained a more mature perspective on things, not to mention I was in a relationship in this year. We met during the anatomy class where she asked me if I could help her in understanding it better after class, I told her that I'll swing by her place later and we'll figure it out. As I reached her house she invited me into the study, which is where I realized that the whole tuition thing was a euphemism when I saw her standing naked in front of me while I held a bunch of textbooks and some stationery in my hand.



A year back was my final year. I would have been one of the Alumni had I not dropped out. It was due to Rachael that I gave up on my adolescent dream of being a doctor. We broke up in the dawn of the final year and I left my bright future in the midst of final year. She said these words which kept ringing in my ears all this while, "It has become too boring, you play too safe", which was the reason for the end of our relationship; an uninteresting 'me'.



Filled with emotions and without a plan, I moved out of my parents home and into a rented one room/kitchen flat. All that was going through my mind was that I needed to do something dangerous. A few weeks after I found something, while enjoying my black coffee made from the stained utensils and cheap powder. It was an ad for a four day intensive training camp which would later take the participants who passed to a tropical mid-forest in South America. I called up the number and signed up.



After the fourth day, 20 of the 50 who passed were given a date and a location from where the transportation would pick them up and take them to the destination. At 600 hours we were picked up from the base stand of the camp and taken to a train station to a certain point and then a chopper took us to the heart of the tropical location.



The trek was fine, survived for three days in the forest by using the training we learnt during camp. It was all fine before we decided to visit the sunset point which was over a steep cliff. When few of the people played the fool I cautioned them to which a reply enraged me, "Ooh Mr. Safe seems to be scared". I lost control of my actions and threw a punch at him and took him down and walked away nearer the sunset. Re-evaluating my action I turned around to apologize only to find a flying fist coming my way which knocked me down of the cliff as I hung on for dear life. I was certain of my death because I was about 8 feet low into a steep cliff and none of them had a rope or any material which could pull me up.



I was just about to die and to my surprise I was no where near calm. I died that day and now I am in heaven with my uncle. As I confronted him on his statement, I realized the man lied about the calm thing, he was high on weed when he said that. Damn I should have stayed in college..