A pain it is when you're waiting in your apartment for someone and someone else walks in? |
An Intruder in the Room Saul waited. There's a man with nothing else better to do on Wednesday night. He's waiting in his three bedroom apartment. Watching from his two pieced furnished living room. And writhing in his one good chair. He tightened his grip. If he was going to do this, he figured he better get comfortable. He straightened up and eased his back into the chair. Eased...yes, this was supposed to be easy...more or less second nature...light flickered from beneath the front door. It was has here. But it wasn't time yet...was it? He chanced a second or two to shift focus from the door to his clock. He tightened his grip on the handle...it wasn't time yet. As the clock struck 10: 56 it struck him that this was all so... so familiar. A guy like him, in this situation. Hadn't this been done before? Hadn't this scenario been played out to...well pretty much to death? He loosened his grip on the revolver and slumped down his chair. He began rubbing the barrel of the gun against the side of his head trying to figure out why he had been slapped with this uncalled for deja'vu. Damn. Just where had he seen this before? Was it on the T.V.? No, the cable's been out for weeks. Could it have been at the movies? No, he hadn't seen a movie recent enough to actually recall it right now. Maybe it was that...no, it wasn't that either. He sat pondering his chair. Unaware to time being 10:58. Unconcerned with the presence outside his door. No, wait...couldn't have been? He perked up in his chair, removing the gun from near his head. Yes...yes, that's it! There was slight surge of clarity (and achievement) because now he knew. It was the...there was politely loud chime from the clock. It was 11:00. He recomposed himself. He straightened up, tightened his grip, and remembered. This was easy. This had been done before. But something was wrong. It was now 11:02 and nothing had happened yet. He then realized that although his visitor was...different, maybe they still had manners. So he welcomed his guest in. "You can..." He stammered, trying to force some nerve into his voice, "...You can come in now Saul." There was brief but violent series of bangs against the door. Afterwards a more than pitch black inky substance began pouring into the three bedroom apartment. Then streamed into two pieced furnished living room. And pooled in front of the resident's one good chair. After the substance collected and settled, multitudes of strands shot up from the floor. They twisted, weaved, and tightened into the form of a robed being. Now most of the strands fused together to fabricate the actual robe. The rest were merely piled up to make what one can best describe as a person made of ink blob worm/snakes (really whichever one can be more comfortable around). "Hello Gerry," Saul said in a calm, articulate manner (which is quite impressive for entity that has parts of their face squirming and slithering about), "It's a pleasure to meet you." "No no, the pleasure is mine." Gerry grinned, a frightened, humble, but confident grin. " Gerry!" Saul's voice blared, "By order of the Ef-Phian council, you know what I must do." "Oh, I know" Gerry laughed to himself, "Procedure 33, Termination on grounds of unauthorized involvement." "Exactly." agreed Saul. He cocked back his right arm as it took the shape of a scythe, more than ready to strike Gerry. "Last remarks?" "Why yes" Gerry nervously chuckled to himself. With dead man confidence, he drew out his revolver, "Eat DaFuqium!"* A bullet that was eighty-eight percent DaFuqium fired from the pistol. It cut the air, barring down a new and unusual sensation on the Psaulaphim: the feeling of certain doom. But that certain doom became a sorta- certain doom as the bullet stopped speeding dead on towards its target. Instead, it came to slow just inches away from Saul's slithering face. Sluggishly pushing through the air, like someone pushing a fork through Jell-O. The bullet like everything else in the apartment was now trapped in the desert-gelatin like state that was frozen time. Or at least this is how it appeared to the intruder in the room. Marcus Kilter wasn't very fond of Pan- Dimensional travel. Not that he found anything morally or ideally wrong with it. It was just something about the tearing of reality and altering of time that more or less, figuratively and literally, got under his skin. Even then, Warping didn't come close to the three things that annoyed Marcus the most; being late, being nagged at, and getting into others business. All of which he was doing as he stepped out of a portal from another dimension into the kitchen of Gerry Williams. "Where are you now?" a voice queried over loud music into Marcus's ear. "I'm almost there Sher". Marcus toyed his Traveler's Pass to bring back up his exact location in the Multiverse. With a few swipes he found the icon showing where he stood among various realities. "Yeah I'm only three universes away." "Universes away? Marc are you Warpi.....fine" Sherron regained control over her tone, "please just get here." A sense of guilt made itself present in Marcus. He remembered the last time she was this way. To anyone else she would have sounded as content as could be. But Marcus knew much better. "I will." He looked back at his Traveler's Pass to see when the next portal was opening. "Besides, aren't Wila and Desso with you?" Sherron sighed again, "I don't know where Desso is at and Wila, well she's....." Along with the music Marcus heard the wild, awkward, hilarious while slightly disturbing sounds of that which could be nothing but Wila in her "High Social Engagement" mode. "Oh..." the guilt grew a bit more in Marcus, "yeah, I'll be there as soon as possible." "Thanks" Sherron said, "And you did remember that this is a Tie Event?" "Of course I did." He replied placing his hand over were his tie should have been, "Common, have a little faith in me." "Alright, see you soon." Sherron hung up. And as she did, Marcus peered out of the kitchen window and into the living room. He looked at the frozen confrontation between the man in the chair and the Saul wondering if the man would mind missing a tie or two. *DaFuqium: Psaulaphims (or Sauls for short) are beings of Expectation, as a result their greatest weakness are the elements of Surprise. DaFuqium (one of the purest elements of Surprise) makes for a great defense against Sauls since coming into contact with it would cause a reaction of random events which would make one exclaim "What the f***!" or "Da Fuq!" |