My Story: 365 Days later

It's December 23rd and i'm sitting at our kitchen table. Keeping an eye on the advent candle. Whilst glaring at the flame i begin reminiscing about my past life.

This time last year i was trapped in a downward suicidal spiral of depression and thought i wouldn't ever get out. But looking around i realised something. I made it! I survived the overdose and i'm the happiest i've been for 6-7 years! No my life isn't perfect, i hardly see my mom, i argue with my family, i get into arguments with girls at school and i cry sometimes. Or most of the time. But these feelings remind me that i'm alive.

It's been a whole 7 and a bit months since a drop of blood was shed from my skin at the movement of a blade. I was clean the first 3 months of mine and HIS relationship but something happen that hurt more than i expected and i had to release. I was ashamed for doing it and i know he feels guilty about it but it's okay. I forgive him. I love him.

It's been 10 and a bit months now, and still going strong. He claims he'll never leave me and that he wants to be with me forever, and i want the same, i just hope that nothing ever separates us. Mainly because i'm scared. Scared that if i were to lose him i'd go back to being the way i once was. Scared that the pain i felt when Marc left me, will be nothing compared to losing someone who made me a promise that one day we shall wed.

Despite Marc hurting me and almost driving me to my death, i still talk to him. He's a great friend and he's happy for me. He still feels terrible about what happened but he's been great help to me. I must admit my feeling for him never truly left but i guess it's okay because i know nothing will happen between us again.

Life
         Will
                   Go
                             On