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Relationship woes |
The obstacles surmount, yet another detour sign flashes in front of my eyes. The familiar tingling spreads from the top of my head to the back of my nostrils and a blanket of warm waves permeates my innards. I envision two distinct versions of you, the one I long for and the one you are becoming. I detest myself for mismanaging our route. What appeared to be the straightest line on our map has become a dizzying array of twists and turns. Construction season bears down on us and the orange cones, road closure and detour signs are all beginning to swirl together. I glance at you and catch a chill as you stare off to the side with that vacant stare. As I dart through the cones, I continue to glance at you. I drift. I wait. I wait in anticipation for the frozen layer of your face to crack. My heart races and my breath quickens. I hope to see the lingering squint of your eyes after a hearty laugh and pronounced smile. As my desperate attempt at humor repeatedly fails, I press harder. My throat tightens and my lips quiver. I accelerate faster. A fork in the road is approaching, a wrong turn ensues. My despair has turned to venomous rage. I besiege you with words untrue in a hopeless attempt to break through. A single, glistening tear zigzags down your weary cheek, signifying the death of us. No words need be spoken. My gaze returns to what is suddenly now a wide open road. Numbness ensues. |