Why i'm a tomboy.

My sister is Piper. And i'm penny.
we're both 10 year old identical twins. we're identical, that means we look the same right? wrong! she's all girly girly, and i'm all boy like! I sometimes like her, but i sometimes hate her. right now i hate her! she's got all this pink eye shadow, i was bored so i puffed it all over my face, i looked like a tomato. I trudged into the kitchen and said " mum, i'm very very ill!" then i pretended to faint. Mum wasn't convinced, and neither was piper. She realized it was her pink eye shadow, and started screaming and yelling at me. " well, it was lying around, so why shouldn't i have taken it!?" i said unwisely. " it was not lying around, it was in my makeup bag! it was right at the bottom, can't you just stop being so ignorant and smelly, and babyish!" she screamed holding her nose, and red in the face. " smelly! yeah right, your the one who secretly far-passes gas and blames the smell on me!" i lie ( i'm not supposed to say fart when mum's around, if i do she glares at me in a horrifying way). " how dare you, your the one who passes gas and wets the bed and burps in peoples faces!" she screamed, grabbing hold of my dark brown wet hair. " oh and, your the one who gets nits and spreads them around the house like a flea ridden rodent, ugh!" she finishes, pretending to scratch her head. I couldn't believe her, she has the longest hair, which always hangs out, my hair is always in some way out of reach of nasty little lice, so i tell her to shut up, and curse away at her, forgetting mum's standing right there, making tea. " Penelope- Clare wilson, how dare you curse like that, and in front of joseph, get to your room right now!"
Joseph is my little brother, he's 3, but he's the golden child!
" no! i will not! not until she admits she's the one who's stupid and insulting, and the one who wets the bed!" i yelled, about crying.
" DON'T YOU DARE TALK TO ME LIKE THAT YOUNG LADY, NEITHER OF YOU WET THE BED, NEITHER OF YOU PASS GAS, AND NEITHER OF YOU HAVE HEAD LICE, NOW BOTH OF YOU, SKIP ALONG TO BED AND DON'T COME DOWN UNTIL MORNING!" mum screamed, making the house shake.
Both of us stormed upstairs, sticking our tongues out at each other. luckily we have separate bedrooms, mines got an en-suit, but piper's room is much bigger! It's good though, especially when i wake up needing a wee, and i don't have to cross the hallway, and step on the creaky floorboards! But the problem is sometimes, i don't wake up, then i have a nightmare and i wake up wet.
It's dad and i's little secret, he doesn't tell mum, piper or Joseph. Joseph might be only 3, but he has a gob of a fog horn!
I can hear piper, getting up for the bathroom, i can hear the floorboards creaking, i take a peep out my door, but it's not piper it's a ghost, a white sheet like ghost, it's heading towards the washroom, it's opening the door. Piper suddenly appears, then she rushes back to her bedroom, closing the door slowly and quietly. I realize it wasn't a ghost, but what exactly was piper doing with her bed sheets? i decide to take a look, i wear my slippers so it doesn't make such a creaking sound. suddenly piper's door flings open, she runs, then bumps into me." what are you doing,?" she asked me, gulping. " oh i was...there was a ghost in the washroom... i was going to see if it was still there or not..um i.." i replied gulping back. " er, no that's stupid, go back to bed, i just was checking what you were doing..?" she said, pulling her pajama top over her bottom. i walked back to my room, i peeped through the crack in my door. Piper's rosey bottom and her alarming girl bits were showing, so i slammed the door shut. why was piper half naked walking around the hall? i heard her opening the boiler room door, where we keep clean knickers and bed sheets. i carefully opened my door and peeped out, she was wearing a clean pair of knickers, and pulling along a clean bed sheet..! oh my goodness, i couldn't believe it, piper wet's the bed! maybe it only happens when she has nightmares,like me, or maybe she's a full on bed wetter, but never usually bumps into anyone! i'v just got to humiliate her in front of her best friends, that will be hilarious!
It's Tuesday. Swimming day. i can't stand it. I'm always self conscious about my flat chest, i don't know why, i'm only 10, but piper has little boobs, and she wears a training bra, dad makes a little joke that she's going to have big floppy boobs when she's older! Dad doesn't like piper that much, of course he loves her, but i'm his special girl! He says piper is too girly, and self centered to be his special girl, which is good, because i'm always going to be his favourite!

" Ok class, today as you all know, is swimming day!" mrs solomon sings, with a smile on her face. I giggle, she's my favourite teacher of all time, she's very funny,and all sticks up for me against mean old melissa gibbs!

We arrive at the swimming baths. i hate getting undressed, because we have to get undressed together. Lucky children get to go in their own cubical, but there are only two of them, and i never get chosen by mrs andrews, the grouchy old swimming instructer! we have to be naked, i don't like showing my alarming girl bits, even though it's just to other girls, so i turn around, because everyone has a bottom, even the boys! my swimming costume is awfully tight, and sticks to my skin.
I suddenly need a wee, i ask mrs andrews, but she tells me to wait. if i wait, i'll end up weeing in the pool, and that's yucky!
I cross my legs, until mrs andrews gives in. she let's me use the bathroom. I needed a number 2, but then i'd take even longer
and id get shouted at.
I ran to the swimming pool. Mean old Melissa gibbs was waiting there, hovering in the corner, looking ugly and fat as usual.
I tried to swim, but i kept sinking, im terrible at swimming,apsolutely terrible!

At the end of the lesson, i went up to mrs andrews, forgetting my manners, and said " mrs i need a poo, and quickly, or i'll soil my swim suit". i suddenly realized what i had shouted, the whole class jeered with laughter. " erm, too much information, now we don't want a soiled swimsuit do we, but you must wait, everyone must quickly swim a lap to get their 50 meters certificate!" mrs said, looking totally discusted. but i couldn't wait, when no one was looking, i sneaked off to find a bathroom, i found a nice bathroom, without bothering to read the sign on the door.
My day was about to get worse! i pulled the chain, thinking it had flushed, i washed my hands and sneaked back to the lesson. Luckily, no one had noticed. Mrs called out my name,i splashed at the water, with my arms in the air, kicking and kicking, until i got across the pool. we had finished the devil's lesson, at last! Just as i got out of the pool, i heard a scream. Melissa was yelling " ew, i wanted a wee, and i found this floating in the toilet! " i looked over her shoulder, it was my floater, it hadn't flushed! " it was Penny, she said she needed a poo, and well, now she doesn't this is hers mrs, it is!" Paula bacon said, pointing at me. " yes, miss wilson, you know i did see you sneaking off, and did you even read the sign on the door, it says " chain needs at least 2 pulls " I'm guessing this little floater, came out of your back side!?" Mrs andrews said, pointing to my bottom. " erm...well...i would have done it in the pool otherwise, and we wouldn't want that now, would we!?" i said, truthfully.
My cheeks were as red as rose, it's illegal to smack a child, but mrs made me bend over, and spanked me, hard!
That's what i get for saying id humiliate piper, god got his revenge!

It was bedtime. I hated school. i fell asleep.
I was running to the bathroom, . mrs andrews was holding a whip, she started whacking and whacking and whacking me, until i escaped, and jumped into a deep pool, which i soon realized was the home of an angry school of sharks. they were throwing balls of paper at me and yelling" floater girl, floater girl!" i jumped out the pool and tried to escape mrs andrews evil cluths,

Then just as i escaped, i woke up.my sheets were wet. i crumpled them up and woke dad " not again, you'll need nappies next!" dad joked. it didn't feel like a joke. i suddenly felt sick, i ran to the bathroom and was a little bit sick, i made lurching sounds, so dad would think i was ill, and didn't make me go to school. im ever so devious!



i woke up at 10:24am the next day, dad had let me take a day off school because i have a "stomach bug" sure, whatever makes you sleep at night!
dad stayed with me the next day, i was glad it wasn't mum, she's ever so mardy! after eating a little bit of lunch, so it didn't look suspicious, i secretly farted. my cheeks lit up, dad knew what id done, he didn't mind, he did it all the time, when mum wasn't home of course!

" did you just fart? if you did, it's alright, " dad laughed. i was ever so chuffed he said that, because straight after he did, i farted again, and again, until i was practically wetting myself with laughter!

When mum came home, she looked really cheesed off. " an outbreak of headlice, perfect! just what we need!" she yelled. Piper walked through the back door, scratching her head, so did i, we knew what that meant..

" it's all your fault, your scraggy hair caught them from that courtney girl at school, you know courtney granger leigh!" piper screeched, whilst mum rubbed nit kill into her hair. I knew exactly who she meant, courtney had nits, she always has, and now my hair was crawling with them. Dad did my hair, he used the nit comb a couple of times, i didn't have as many as Piper!

" Im afraid your still crawling " mum said, combing through pipers hair. "haha" i said quietly. it was 1 week later, and piper had a town moved in, but i was free! dad said i didn't have any left! yipee. The headteacher didn't let piper go back to school until she was clear, which took ages, and people started calling her nit girl, and moving away from her. I told them she was clear, but they didn't believe me. At one point, piper was so embarrassed, she went to the toilet in her knickers, and ran out the room crying. Ive been in that situation before, when i was 5, i was a sheep in the school play, i was ever so frightened i soiled my knickers and screamed and screamed until mum came up from the audience and took me home!