An attempt to portray what goes on inside my head |
From behind the bars I can witness the world and all the life that happens in it. I can see the people-- I like to catch glimpses of the faces when they think no one is looking. I can hear the voices-- I like to listen for the subtle change in inflection when a person speaks to someone they love. I can feel the energy-- I like to experience it shift from cold to warm, from light to heavy and back again. I can imagine what it's like on the other side-- I like to picture what it would be like If I ever caught someone looking when I'd thought no one was, And how I would react when they described to me what I looked like and what it reminded them of. Or what it would be like If someone's voice shifted, just slightly, whenever they spoke to me; to feel the world around me fade away because I was only paying attention to that single note in that one voice. Or what it would be like to be in the room when the energy shifts from light to heavy, to experience the phenomenon of everyone focusing their attention on one thing all at once-- It'd be so quiet, you would almost hear the rhythm of the hearts as they slow down to beat in sync with one another. From behind the bars I have come to know what life should be-- how it should look, how it should sound, how it should feel. But the actuality of life looks a lot different, sounds a lot worse, and feels like way too many things at once. And so I dare not venture from behind the bars. |