To Carry On (Title in progress)

When she stepped out of the car the wind picked up, whipping her cinnamon-honey streaked hair around her like a cape. This was a new beginning, she knew that. But she was still hanging onto the life she had before. If only he could just come out of the house, stand there with that small smirk he so often did. His pouty lips and soul filled eyes just dragging her to him automatically. There was just something so perfect about him. A small whimper from the back seat brought Evangeline back to her senses.
“Ok little guy,” she said lifting her four week old son from his car seat, holding him close. “We are going to make this place a home, Keifer.” She kissed his tiny forehead as he made small grunting and cooing sounds.

“How? How are we going to make this work? Tell me please, Teddy! Enlighten me with your wisdom!”
“I don’t know, Evangeline. I don’t,” he was calm, as always. “We will make this work. We always have, love.”
“She is dying, Teddy, what don’t you see? Lissie is dying before our eyes. She needs constant around the clock care. I am already so tired. I am watching my six year old daughter waste away, and there is nothing I can do,” she sobbed, her body trembling.
Evangeline wiped the tears from her cheeks as she made her way to the front door, unlocking it. The old house she bought smelled closed in and musty. She went back to the car, holding her son to her chest as she lifted his basinet from the trunk. After opening the windows once she was back in the house, she bundled the baby up and laid him down with his binkie.
“Just because things are bad now, it doesn’t mean they will be forever.” His voice was soft, sad.
“We can’t do this. I cannot do this to her.”
“Don’t you think having a little bit of happiness in this house would help brighten her spirits?”
“How can you always be so calm?” She screamed at him, pressing her hands on his large masculine chest. “Scream at me, cry, do anything! I can’t take being the only one suffering right now.” She crumpled to the ground, sobbing.
“Evangeline,” his voice was comforting in her waves of cries. “You are not abandoning Lisabet by having another child. We are not letting her go; we are giving her hope that once the inevitable happens, we will carry on. We won’t give up. She will always live on in this house as long as we love and remember her.”

“And now you’ve left me alone, you bastard,” Evangeline said to the empty house. Tears filled her eyes as she began to unpack everything. The movers had put most of the furniture in the house the day before so she was only left with unpacking the smaller things. She pulled Lisabet’s blanket from the box of her things, laying the blanket on the couch, she carried on. Evangeline then pulled Theodore’s robe from the box, laying it on his recliner. She then finally sat down, wrapping it around her. It still smelled exactly like him, that morning. That last morning she said good-bye.

“You can stay home you know,” Evangeline said, her eyes still swollen from crying. “No one would blame you, Teddy.”
“I would blame me, Evie,” he said, leaning down by his wife as she clung tightly to the crocheted blanket that had been Lisabet’s.
He gently rubbed her hand before lifting his dark lake moss eyes to hers. Her taupe eyes were glistening with tears, yet dull with pain. She lifted her hand to his face, rubbing the dark cocoa curls that covered his face.
“We are still here, Evie,” he placed his hand on her swollen belly. “All of us. We have to hold onto that.”

“But you’re not here,” she whispered to herself, tears trailing down her face. “You left me all alone.”