Bees

Incapable of emotion -
Medicated away.
I see but do not care,
hear, but do not feel.
I do not care that I
cannot feel.

A peaceful loneliness -
The whirring of constant noise
drowning out the world.
I close my eyes wishing for time
to pass;
to be covered by the thick
shield of
sleep.

In my dreams I feel:
Laugh,
Cry,
Scream,
Rejoice.
I'm free to takes chances,
make mistakes,
say what I think:

I hate you!
You make me feel like crap!
Why do you do it?
What is the purpose?
I hate you!

I'm so tired.
Always tired.
Sleep eludes me,
mocks me,
makes promises it cannot keep

I invite sleep to stay, but it never accepts.

Five minutes.
Ten minutes.
itchy swirls of bees swarm
under my skin.
They will not leave.
I cannot sleep.

Pacing. Pacing. Pacing.
Wringing my hands,
arms,
legs.
Pacing. Pacing. Pacing.
c y c l o b e n z i p r i n e.
Pacing. Pacing.
Swaddled on the hard floor.
Pressure.

Bees buzzing,
walking,
talking.
sleeping.




Tracy Henson 2015