A Soldier's Letter

A Soldiers Letter


Tears on my face
Signs of my disgrace
they say "you are a hero"
How am I to deny
they can't understand
I just didn't want to die.

Steel in my back
Doesn't touch the pain of my mind on the rack
I can't even remember when sleep was all black
Even the sunshine feels like something is about to attack

I beg to go back
To live or die
Just to be with those who are like me and fight at my side
This world changed
My thoughts pounded in red, blue and white
Until I could eat, sleep and wake only in the
blood soaked promise of 'one day'
I am never looking to blame
And the man in the mirror feels no real shame
I keep those things in empty little frames
I know peace is in reach
Sing, David, sing to me
Like you did for Saul when his demons would wake
Not for me, but for my family's sake
Because being a "hero" sets these demons free

Sweet echo of a ricochet
Missing all that shot could have offered
And I nail it into my enemy's coffin
Now I am numb
This man, I have become
Cannot scream, cold steel in my heart

I am willing to give it all back
Willing to depart
But there is this simple fact
That yes, hope is the enemy of my darkness
And yes, Love is the catalyst of the divine
No deed or blow has left me without faith
No bomb has robbed me of my life

Yet the fact is there is no solace or shelter in time
Time is no friend of mine
Because there is no power in it
To rewind, rewind, rewind...