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Short story series called The Chronicles of Nonia. Random stories with a dash of humor. |
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Hi! Noni-Ayanna here. Sometimes, at random moments, things cross my mind. Instead of giggling to myself and looking, well, odd…I have decided to put my thoughts to paper. Perhaps someone else will also find my quirky thoughts interesting (or at the very least entertaining). Out of these inevitable moments developed a little short story series called The Chronicles of Nonia. Yes, it is a pun on the lovely movie Narnia in case you missed that. Enjoy!
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| "Come on Noni! Walk faster! We are going to be late!" her sisters chime. Five year old Noni and her two older sisters Beautiful and Gorgeous are walking to school with her like they do every morning. Seeing an upcoming puddle of water on the ground, her sisters both grab her by each arm and swoop her up over the puddle like a rag doll saying "weeee" and laughing amongst themselves. It is at this moment that Noni begins to wonder if her family is suffering from some kind of mental illness and begins to stare at them closely. She has heard of people who eat crayons and starch because their brains don't work as well and Mommy once told her about the time she, herself, ate starch as a kid because she was missing a nutrient in her diet according to her doctor." Oh no! Is that why I can't do my math? Are my brains broken?" Noni starts to wonder. Yet, the journey to their Catholic school to receive a good education doesn't miss a beat. As they continue to walk Noni tries to move her little feet as fast as she can but the scarf her mom wrapped around her face to keep her warm and shield her from the cold, now became like the Attack Scarf in the Super Mario game. (The Attack Scarf is an accessory for the character Mario that increases all stats by 30, and you can get it by achieving 30 straight Super Jumps and talking to the one who rates you on your jumps in Monstro Town.) If there was a box that Noni could jump on that had an adjacent box with a magic mushroom in it that could make her bigger, she would have definitely jumped on it and skipped right to 13 years old. But with her boogers rolling down her face and both of her sisters hanging on to each arm, Noni starts to pray silently in her head that one of them would let go of her arm so that she can wipe her nose. The moment finally arrives. So exciting! Victory is attained. Noni wipes her nose on her scarf. But the freedom did not last long. Her sister's hand swoops her arm up once again. Noni starts to giggle to herself, "I know what I am going to be when I grow up. I am going to be one of those stretchy toys that you pull on both sides and watch it flip around in circles. I wonder what color I should be. Hmmm I like pink." As she giggles, her sisters think she is just being silly. Noni does this a lot. She doesn't know why. Funny things come to her mind all the time, but she never says them out loud. For some reason, she believes life is not a game or that her thoughts will not be understood. Life is serious business. Pooping is serious, eating is serious, presentation is serious, and yes, even walking to school is serious business. No time for play. We have a destiny to fulfill! (or so she has been taught). "I'm tired. I can't walk anymore," Noni whines. "Come on Noni you can do it! We are almost there sweetie!" Noni's sister Beautiful chimes. Noni giggles and thinks to herself again, "If this school isn't five steps away, I am going to make my legs like dead weight and have them drag me to school." When Noni realizes the school is up the street but more than a few steps, well, that is exactly what she did. But guess what? Did they pick her up? No they did not. They, too, agreed that just holding her arms and dragging her was the best solution. This was hilarious to Noni for some reason so she decided to help again and try to walk. Obediently walking but still laughing inside in order to deal with with the feeling that her legs are about to fall off at the hip, Noni just giggles all the way to school. She found solace in the fact her sisters seemed to be laughing too. |
| The Chronicles of Nonia: Deadly Twinkie Noni-Ayanna (Gobern) Roach / March 4, 2015 Creating "Barbie Doll land" is a long, meticulous process for little eleven year old Noni complete with a decorated house with Corvette, attached Lego fencing, character choice creation, furniture placement and her beloved Hot dog stand. After spending about four hours setting everything up for play (yes. The setup portion of her invented land often takes hours) Noni's sister Adventitious, walks into the room. Unaware of the painstaking process Noni has just undergone in order to begin her role-playing story creation, Adventitious accidentally runs right into the entire Barbie doll land set scene destroying all of its contents like the fictitious character King Kong in the movie King Kong. "Adventitious! You ruined it! Now I have to start all over! See what you did?!" Noni said shoving her sister off of the scene. "Oh. I'm sorry Noni." Adventitious said. "What are you doing anyway? I want to play. I'll make my house right here and move this over here wi-"Adventitious says starting to move everything around and mix match characters. "No! Leave it alone!" Noni snaps. Really angry at the unexpected disruption, she tries to temper it by calmly saying "Make your house over there and we can be neighbors. I'm going to fix my scene back and play by myself for a while. Seeing Adventitious' sad face and unaware of the entire episode in its fullness, Noni and Adventitious' mother enters the room. "Oh Noni. Stop being so mean to your sister. She just wants to play with you. Figure out a way where the two of you can play together or I want you to put the Barbie Dolls away." Knowing that talking back to her mother is not an option without severe consequences, Noni replies with the traditional moody "ok mommy," and starts to pout. Adventitious in her victory scoots her little body back to Noni's side of the room. "So what do you want to do?" she asks with her adorable pumpkin-like face cheeks smiling in such a way that makes even the most reserved person smile and want to pinch them. "Let's just dress up our dolls." Noni responds no longer in the mood for story creation. As Adventitious and Noni play, Noni suddenly realizes that her favorite Barbie Doll is missing a diamond earring. "Where is my earring Adventitious? It was in her ear a second ago! I just put them on." Said Noni slightly annoyed with her little sister. "I don't know!" Adventitious said. Knowing that she was playing with the earrings, Noni gets concerned. "Did you swallow it?" Noni asks somewhat worried. Now, granted, that seems like an oddly paranoid question, but Adventitious has a tendency to chew on toys and put things in her mouth. "I don't know! She responds getting even more anxious in her voice. "Why? What will happen if I did?" Although not the kindest response, Noni being angry that her sister could have possibly swallowed her favorite Barbie Doll earring, says in a temporary state of rage, "Your gonna die! If you swallowed that ring you will suffocate in your sleep and die!" As soon as she says it, however, she internally knows it is a horrible thing to do, but she finds herself saying it anyway. "Die!? Oh no! Really!? Oh No. You're kidding right?" Adventitious says alarmed as can be. "No! I'm not kidding!" Noni barks back while picking up her dolls and throwing them into their designated bins. Running downstairs in full tears, Adventitious looks through the cupboard for her favorite treat. When entering the kitchen to make dinner, their mother finds little Adventitious crying her eyes out in the dark eating a Twinkie cake. "Oh no sweetheart. What's the matter? Why are you sitting in the dark eating a Twinkie?" she asks with great loving concern in her eyes. "Noni and I were playing dolls and I think I may have swallowed her Barbie Doll's earring. I don't know if I did, but Noni said that if I did, I was going to choke on it in my sleep and die! So, I came down here to have my favorite snack as my last meal. I really love Twinkies. I'm just so sad that I can't have them anymore," Adventitious cries taking another solemn, dramatic bite of her Twinkie. "NONI!" Yells mom. "Yes Ma'am?" Noni replies. "Get down here this instant young lady!" she yells. "Dangit. Here we go," Noni sighs knowing full well she is about to enter the world of unwanted discipline. "Well, that settles it. My next storyline will be a Barbie Doll funeral to mourn my passing," Noni says sarcastically to herself as she goes downstairs to take ownership of her wrongdoing. |
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