Heart Breaking

I looked into your eyes and knew you were the one....
I stared into those deep pools of blue grey that engulfed me.
I fell so hard for you it took me a week to stand back up.
I told you I loved you,
With a slight element of fear that you would reject my love.
But you didn't.
Things were great,
Until my family butted in.
They harassed you, they told you to stay away, they made me fear that you would never speak to me again.
But you did.
That was the greatest moment of relief.
Age is but a number you said and I agreed.
My family rejected you because if your age.
You had my heart at "Hello"
Weather I'd admit it or not was another question.

I loved you dearly and you knew me better then anyone.
Then there was another blowout which lead to the worst pain I had ever felt.
You stood there before me trying to get the words out.
I was standing there longing for your touch, your caress.
I had already hit my breaking point or so I thought.
This was my real breaking point.
I stood there away from the wall while you explained, that you had replied.
But the you said you had contacted some of your buddies from the PD,
And you said what they recommended.
In that moment I leaned against the wall and looked down holding back tears.
I look back up at you and nodded silently.
I knew why this was happening, so you didn't end up getting harmed in your dreams.
I told you I'd love you forever.

I went to class and just nearly broke down,
I was there head on desk trying to ignore the breaking of my heart.
The sharp stabbing pain was nearly unbearable.
People looked my way and merely asked out of curiosity if I was okay
I said no and they clearly didn't care.
My goal for the week was to make it through it.... as impossible as it seemed.
At lunch I saw you deep in thought or so it seemed.
I sat in a corner with my hoodie on and just cried.
I wasn't as emotionally strong as you and I knew that.
I got on the bus home and broke down further.
I cried and cried people that did care asked and grace hugs and listened.
And when I got home I just died.

The following day I was longing for your touch like no other.
I messed you sneaking up on me...hugging me from behind
I wondered if it was as much pain to you as it was to me.
I swore that I was dyeing because this was the worst pain to ever come to me.

My mind pans through moments I have had with you.....
Missing those times and wanting to flash back to them
But I can't
Every time I see you I want to hug you and never let you go....
But I can't
I want to talk to you
But I can't
I want to kiss you
But I can't
I want to go back to the routine we had
But I can't
I want to ramble and you find a sweet way to shut me up
But we can't
I feel I should harden my heart
But I know I shouldn't so I can eventually just you back in

I feel my deepest fear coming true....
Loosing you unless I still have your heart
I'm not sure if I do our don't
But....
I hope you never forget me because there well anyways be a place for you in my heart.