Crayons

You were only seven,
I had yet to turn five.
 
Your face was the first thing I saw when I woke up. I had fallen asleep in your lap the night before. You were looking at me and as soon as I met your gaze, you smiled. We were still laying on the bathroom floor. It felt the same as the night before; I was scared, I was tired, you held me, you were there. But it wasn't the same, now everything was quiet. I tried to say something, but I wanted to be silent. I sat up. My tears started flowing. I didn't want to sit up; I didn't want to be alive. You knew I was is agony so you put your own aside. You gently dried my tears away and looked me in the eye, ''Let's get away'', you said. I told you I was scared, I didn't want mother to wake. But you were strong and you said that if we'd be wary, she wouldn't hear a thing.
 
You carefully unlocked the bathroom door and tried your best to contain the shrieking noise from its rusty hinges. We snuck into our room and when we got there I couldn't stop myself from staring in the mirror. My clothes were all torn, and had been painted with red. I hurt all over, and my face showed so much. ''I can't go out like this'', I said with a lump in my throat. You got me new pajamas, told me to get dressed, and snuck out of the room. You came back with a plastic cup of water, crayons, and a smile. You sat down in front of me and told me to close my eyes. You took the skin colored crayon and dipped it in your cup. You started coloring my skin, just where it hurt.
 
You were only seven,
I had yet to turn five.
 
We got out the front door and went our way. I knew where we were going, it was always the same. We walked to the seashore just to get away, and sat down on the big rocks above the black beach. It was always the same thing; we'd thrust our way on the exactly same spot through the ivy, every single time. Climb on the same rocks to get up, go four rocks down, closer to the sea, then about 20 rocks to the left, and sat down. It was our rock. I remember how big I found it, and it's surface so smooth. We would lean our backs against the rock behind, in the line above. You'd hold my hand, and let me cry. We would watch the sunrise, just sit there in silence. I looked you in the eye and couldn't resist the smile. Because it was then when I realized how lucky I was. How much I loved you, how much you loved me. Everything we went through and you brought out on me a smile.
 
I realize now, how strong you had to be.
I see it now, how hard it must have been.
I know that now, the crayons were a lie.
I thank you now, for fooling my young eye.
 
You were only seven,
I had yet to turn five.
 
Your love was my heaven,
you kept me alive.