Impressive sounding titles for jobs

So you've just found someone you want to impress but he/she isn't interested due to your lame job title, or maybe it is just a matter of you feeling left out when people mention their important sounding jobs but you don't know what to do.
Well, fortunately for you, many people have decided to just say screw it and come up extraordinary job titles for their ordinary jobs because why not?

Here is a list of impressive job titles for not-so-impressive jobs.
Petrochemical          Transfer Technician:
Petrol Attendant.
Regional          Media Distribution Operative:
Mailman
Beneficiaries          Attendant:
Old age home nurse
Romance          Liaison Manager:
Adult shop salesperson
Aquatic          Sanitation Technician:
Dishwasher
Consumables          Distribution Engineer:
Fast food delivery person
Merchandise          Receptacle Systems Administrator:
The guy who collects the shopping carts around the shop
Aquatic          Natural Selection Evasion Officer:
Lifeguard
Monetary          Assets Administrator:
Cashier
Comestibles          Coordinator:
Waiter
Ground          Pilot Navigator:
Cab driver
Sanitation          Technician:
Cleaner
Cinema          Public Liaison Officer:
Movie ticket attendant
Photon          Obtainment Specialist:
Photographer
Information          Communications Technology Administrator:
I.T technician
Multinational          Logistical Product Distributor:
Shelf stacker
Children's          Entertainment Specialist:
Clown
Waste          Acquisition Officer:
Refuse collection guys
Co-Social          Executive:
Community Manager of a club
Personal          Hazard Reduction Specialist:
Bodyguard
Real          Estate Directional Manager:
The guy advertising where the houses for sale are
Technical          Documentation Engineer:
Tech writer
I.T          Systems Engineer:
System administrator
Educational          Research Coordinating Associate:
Research assistant
Unit          Information Coordinator:
Receptionist
Accounts          Control Officer:
Debt collector
Executive          Chancellor of Preparation Stations:
Fry cook
Employment          Opportunity Contemplator:
Unemployed
Technical          Systems Storage Specialist:
Data capturer
Unaffiliated          Communications Decoding Specialist:
Freelance translator
Logistical          Navigation Technology Facilitator:
Dispatcher
Executive          Apprentice:
Secretary
Structural           Maintenance Technician:
Building maintenance
Professional          Flooring Specialist:
Tile and carpet installer
Electronic          Maintenance Engineer:
Electrical appliances repair man
Fast          Consumer Goods Architect:
The guy who makes the food at any fast foods store
Front          Line Customer Support Facilitator:
Call center agent
Senior          Logistics Technician:
Truck driver
Consumer          Coordinator:
Party and restaurant host
Societal          Expert:
Magazine columnist
Household          Engineer:
Domestic worker
Landscape          Technician:
Gardener
Geological          Transfer Specialist:
Ditch digger
Digital          Innovation Director:
Online marketer
Trade          and Industry Sales Executive
Retail sales person
Educational          Enhancement Coordinator:
Teacher
Structural          Defense Expert:
Security guard
Public          Protection Officer:
Policeman
Legislation          and Legalities Expert:
Lawyer
And finally:
Deputy          Director of Joint Interdepartmental Operational Systems:
Office Assistant