Family Narrative

My mom needed peace,
Her memories to cease.
Violence and pain
Her childhood domain.
I often heard, “Hush,
You talk too much.”
“You’re afraid and you cry,
With no reason why.”

So I learned to say “Yes”
When “No” would have been best.
Boundaries and self-care
Didn’t exist where
Mixed messages flourished
Emotional health was malnourished.
Confused in my role,
My parentified control
Lead to conflict and strife
With my sister for life-

Until…

Depression’s attack hit both sister and I.
At last, I began to examine why
Sad was the feeling of choice
I recognized, for I had no voice.
Unable to say “No”
Unable to self-know
Depression, sadness and fear
Were false friends who stayed near
And threatened me with relationship loss,
The “unique outcome” of self-knowing would cost.

What if…

I wanted too much, to be heard
To be wanted. Finally, I learned
Boundaries are good
And good boundaries would
Allow my family and me
To be authentic you see.
I can talk and be heard
And I can listen to their words.
Sharing self, thoughts and feelings
Has begun family healing.

No longer silent
No fear of violence
Mom, sister and me
Safe to hear, speak, and be.