The Rookie Mistake

Everyone has had moments in their lives where they just want to bury their heads in the sand after an extremely humiliating or embarrassing moment. I personally have a couple that have frequently haunted me in my dreams but are now moments that I get a good chuckle out of.

However, none have come close to the experience I now refer to as The Rookie Mistake.

A couple of months ago, I was at home, having finished my chores and in heat. Because I hadn't heard a peep from anyone else in the house, I just naturally assumed I was home alone and figured it was the best time to "take care of myself". As a result, I decided to whip out the good 'ol python and turned up the volume on my laptop to its maximum.

After my 30-40 minute long session (full of lube and other questionable noises), I was midway in the cleanup process when I noticed my phone light up with an alert from my mother.

I thought it was weird that she messaged me at that particular time as she should be at work.

"Perhaps it could be an emergency or..."

My train of thought got immediately derailed as I heard the door to the study slowly creak open downstairs.

I took a huge gulp, and begin sweating profusely in fear as I opened the text to the one line that will forever haunt me to the grave.

"I AM STILL IN THE HOUSE."

She knew. She fucking knew.

Time stood still, and I became incredibly lightheaded. Because I was paralyzed and numb with both fear and shock, I stayed in my room until she left to run some errands.

With denial and desperation running rampant in my mind, I thought to myself that maybe, just maybe, the good Lord was on my side and she didn't hear the ungodly noises that emitted from my room and that the coast was clear.

To test my theory, I decided to play the porn at the same level it was on earlier while I was downstairs.

IT FUCKING ECHOED THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE.

The way the acoustics vibrated throughout the ceiling led me to believe that my mom must have heard the screams of the chick being railed in the porno.

I honestly couldn't decide which was worse, the fact that my mom knew that I indulged in such or that she was in the study hearing EVERYTHING.

I couldn't look at my mother for a long time.

As a result of my experience, I would like to advise other people who self-indulge to triple check that no one is home. Last thing you would want to experience is the shame. Oh the fucking shame.