Heavy Soul

i miss him and yet
whats expected of me seems to be like debt
a forced marriage
a downtrodden soul
what will it take to make me whole
genuine, how to tell?
that his heart learned to lie from hell
some days i hope his words
are taught by God
but then for a second
i see through the facade
how much longer
should i bear
the consequences
that rip and tear
Oh God save my soul
fill my life and make me whole. 4/15/16