Sages Hand: The Forgotten Prince

Dear Anna,

A thousand times over I've tried to collect my thoughts and place the words in order that would accurately describe my life in a whole. I'm not quite sure if I have an excuse for not doing so long before this moment. Perhaps, in some way it would mean that my most precious memories and thoughts would no longer be mine. A selfish desire I admit and one that has kept the world and I distant from one another. I'd come to rely on those actions in my times of solidarity making it easy for me to move on from one place to another without the worry of severing attachments. I know that doesn't help my case at all and that it makes me seem more self absorbed than I truly am. I'm undecided if it was fate that you've stumbled upon on that part of my life I tried to keep hidden or if it's some karmic punishment for the things I've done. The one thing I know without a doubt is that I don't want you to walk away from what we had thinking that I'm unfaithful. My only hope is that you will read this in its entirety and that you can somehow forgive me for my need of secrecy.

For the past few months you've known me as Miliano Reyes, which is the first in a long line of half-truths I've told you. My real name is Miliano Rainshadow; not much of a creative change I'll admit, but it helped to keep me from forgetting who I truly am through all my years of life. I was born to a family of nobility in the country of Quay Chan; I am the youngest of thirteen children and the sole survivor of the Rainshadow clan.

It's been about two and a half thousand years since that name has meant anything to anybody. My family had gave peace, protection and prosperity to all who resided in their kingdom. The land was divided up into several provinces between my grandparents, uncles, parents and their extended families. Though it took all of them to oversee the country there was only one true ruler and that was my grandmother Lotus. For all I've ever heard about her she'd earned the right to be called Empress. That was the woman I would've called grandma, but me nor my brothers and sisters ever got the chance. Unfortunately she'd been summoned to sit among the gods in their grand hall to watch over the mortal realm. My grandfather Jameson was left behind with no explanation for her sudden departure and the loss of their youngest children. No time passed at all before he was off on his own to find answers to the unvoiced questions he had. Their three eldest children were left to piece together a fractured kingdom; war had scarred the land and left the kingdoms inhabitants lost, broken and fearful of what could happen next.

My parents with our uncles Horizon and Meryltrice and the friends the traveled with during their adventures they stood fast and helped rebuild the kingdom. Each chose a province to watch over and call their own. Tranquil times followed allowing them to heal old wounds, rekindle alliances with neighboring lands and to finally start a family.

They didn't have to wait long before my mother became pregnant and announced to all in their territory. The announcement brought old friends to their home along with many more bringing good tidings and the best wishes. The people and my parents had anxiously waited the day my siblings and I would be born. Though they'd never said anything my parents also had a bit of dread that lingered in the back of their minds. They were set to have a set of children once before, but they'd never gotten to see the light of day. They'd been taken from my mother's womb before they were ready to enter into the world. I don't think they got a chance to grieve or that it got a chance to sink in before they were swept up into another adventure.

The day of our birth had finally arrived and as my mother screamed and gritted her teeth in pain my brothers and sisters came into this world with screams of their own. The whole event took several exhausting hours for twelve healthy children to be born. My father and the midwife gave a sigh relief at what was supposed to be a normal delivery, my mother felt a new surge of contractions racking through her body. The midwife dismissed it as the after birth being flushed out, but my mother begged to differ. It wasn't until the midwife and my father witnessed a thirteenth child start to emerge that they began to panic. Half way through her pregnancy my mother and father developed a link to my brothers and sisters. I'm not sure how to explain that I was aware of that connection and no matter how hard I reached out none could or would respond. You'd think that sharing such a confined space with a dozen others that one of them would acknowledge my existence. I came into the world quiet as a church mouse and still as a graveyard. The midwife gave them a sorrowful look as she cradled me in her arms and just before she could lay me off to the side my mother asked to hold me. She handed me over as gently as possible, my father placed his arm around her and tried to be a comforting support. They wiped tears from their eyes, gave me a kiss on the forehead to send me on my way, but in the midst of being handed back over to the midwife I took my first breath. My mother snatched me back and held me tightly as tears of sorrow turned to ones of joy. She smiled down at me and without a moment of thought pronounced my name.

For me it took several years to realize I was different from my siblings, but I believe that my parents had a pretty good idea of that the day we were born. It started when they took us out for the start of our training at five years old. Magic use being my mother's speciality she began to show us the basics of its' application. It was easy enough for my brothers and sisters to pick up on the lessons, but it was a lot harder for me to make use of it. My father took to teaching us to use the power of our minds and try as he might it was just lost on me. Even after the lessons ended I tried and tried to figure out why I just couldn't do any of it.

That's the way it went for months and I could start to see the looks of pity my mother had when I failed and the disappointed expression of my father. Slowly but surely I found myself watching them as they practiced with my siblings more than I participated. Far to soon I found myself excluded from training and many outings entirely. I tried to find other things to do to occupy me, but I discovered in being a thorn in their sides that they would take notice and acknowledge me. I inserted myself into every one of their activities, picked fights with my brothers and constantly argued with my sisters. Of course they pushed back and did their best to one up me. After awhile I tired of those things, I needed to find a way to be a nuisance without getting myself into trouble.

On the day we turned eight I noticed a gleam in my father's eyes and a bit of giddiness to my mother's disposition. It was the day they'd decided to lift the magical restraints on the wolf blood that ran through our veins. They took us deep into the woods for our first pack run. I was excited to say the least, because this could be my time to join them in an activity. Our parents gave a strict set of rules to abide by when we transformed. The most important of which was to stay with them no matter what happened. We awaited for the sun to dip down below the horizon and for the moon to arise in full glory to begin our journey.

My anticipation grew as I watched my siblings start to change before my very eyes. My father gave me a warm smile and told me not to fight the change and to just surrender to it. I closed my eyes and cleared my racing thoughts. My heart began to pound harder than it ever had, I could feel an electrical charge surge through my body and then all my senses heightened beyond anything I could've imagined. Over joyed I popped my eyes open just in time to see my brothers and sisters run off into the thicket with our parents chasing after them. I became even more eager to change so I could join my family and to finally find my place among them.

I refocused myself on the task at hand and gave another go at it. I could feel the spark shoot through me once again, but nothing more than that. I tried again and again with the same results. I began to get frustrated and the realization started to sink in that this was as far as I was going to get. My heart broke, I fell to my knees and tears streamed down my face. It didn't seem fair to me that I was so different than my family. I punched and clawed the ground in anger wailing at the top of my lungs.

After awhile my eyes couldn't shed any more tears. I slowly raised up onto my feet still whimpering and started to look around for my family. I crept forward easing my way into the brush and with every step I made I wanted to call out for them. They're weren't anywhere to be found. Even my mother's sweet fragrance had dissipated so thoroughly that my now sensitive nose couldn't pick it up. A rustle of leaf covered branches turned my attention to my left and away from the danger lurking behind me. Before I knew it I was forced to the ground and when I tried to get up I felt a something sharp clamp down on my shoulder. It started to thrash about ripping and tearing flesh. My young bones cracked under the immense power of it. Similar events happened to other parts of me as well. Despite the pain I continued to try to get free from my attacker. Moments later the pain subsided, my eyes grew heavy and my rapidly beating heart slowed to a crawl. My last thought was of my mother and how much I just wanted to be in her arms. I closed my eyes and the world disappeared behind a veil of black.

I awoke the following morning with aches all over. The sunlight was unforgiving on my eyes and the strong smell of copper filled my nose. The memories of the night came flooding back and I began to panic. I tried to push myself up off the ground, but something was holding me down. Though I was a bit fearful of what it could be I turned my head to get a look at it.

I was surprised to find it was my mother that held me. In all of my squirming around I must of awoke her and her eyes crept open. She groggily stared at me then all at once her look brightened when she finally realized who'd waken her. The look on her face was one of joy and surprise. At the time I didn't understand why when she hugged me tightly she started to cry. All I could think to say to her was that the monster couldn't take me away.

On our way home we ran into my father with my brothers and sisters in tow. Like me they too were covered in dried blood, but there was an air about them. One that sent a cold chill through me, they'd become full fledged predators. I was taken back by the feeling and scooted a bit closer to our mothers side. My father waltzed over with a gleam of pride in his eye. He scooped me up and spoke words of praise welcoming me to the pack. I couldn't believe I'd just heard the words of praise that came from my father. As my father set me down I turned my gaze to my mother. In the split second it took for us to lock eyes I became aware that she was giving me the same pity filled look she'd always given me after our family practices. I knew then that she would tell him in private, if for nothing else to spare me the heckling from my brothers and sisters. I felt slightly angry with her and that made me ashamed of myself. Though, I knew I couldn't keep my failing a secret for long it still made sense to my young mind to hold onto it for all it was worth.