Destroyed By Love

I am a twenty something year old woman wanting to know why we get destroyed by love so much
my story starts with my mother and ends with my story
love destroys a womanâs life
}My mother got married at 22 and moved to an unknown country with a man whom she never loved
all i believe is that she was trying to do is form a home for the both of them but never could because the man she married was a monster
who later destroys her where she no longer was filled with spirit in her heart
this man broke her heart and made her someone that is just alive for her children and a person who has no idea what loving your partner means
this man took the little light in her life and destroyed it so she can live in darkness
In my case i always craved a fatherâs love
you ask me why?
i always heard the phrase âdaddyâs little girlâ and that phrase made me sad
i prayed to have my father love me but he stole the light in my life as well like he did to my mother
now in my twenties i wonder if marriage is worth it
i have never seen or heard a happy married couple
my spirit died as a little girl because of the horrifying childhood and being raped by a jackass in my sophomore year in college
i was never fully happy with the results of all the bad things happening to me because all i was really trying to do in one case was to be loved and the other case i couldn't do anything it wasn't in my power
now all i think about is why am i letting love destroy me
yes i am in a relationship now but i donât let it go over my head
i always leave space to breathe because i never want to be destroyed because i want to be loved or if i fall in love with someone
in every relationship one person somehow destroys the other person
male and female are the same
i learned that i will never have a man in my life to teach me the things a father was supposed to teach
i tell people Iâm strong because Iâm a weak bastard who hates when people see me struggling
I cry myself to sleep some nights and some nights i force myself to go to sleep and tell myself not be afraid that someone will come and end my life while Iâm sleeping
I was never supposed to be in a relationship but somehow it happened its a good thing it happened but Iâm so scared to be destroyed in this process sometimes that i tell myself not to go over broad with my feelings
my question now is do you all feel like youâre being destroyed by love ?