Mood Swings of a Pregnant Woman

This writing is part of a series of pieces within a fictional online wrestling federation.


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“What are you grinning at?!”

Charlotte’s voice came at me as if from a great distance, and snapped me out of the mini-trance that I’d obviously fallen into. I shook my head and looked straight at Charlotte, noting her own amused expression as she pondered mine. My grin widened as I saw the look on her face and paused to consider her words, before opening my mouth to answer.

“Nothing. I’m just… yeah. Is it illegal to smile these days then?”

“Of course not.” came her reply, “You’re just making the rest of us look twice as miserable with your gormless smiling. Just stop and consider us normal people before you start throwing out smiles recklessly like that.”

Charlotte’s tone was brisk but her smile wide – it was clear that, despite her best efforts at hiding it, she was loving the “new me”. I planted a quick kiss on her lips, before we both got back to our cleaning duties – Charlotte had taken one look at the place after we’d got back to Atlanta and decided, not before throwing me a look of pure filth, that a clean-up was in order. I was only to happy to oblige – after all, it was nice to get back to some sort of semblance of normality, to even get close to the bliss that I’d achieved and then thoughtlessly thrown away before Charlotte had left.

So, despite my history of mood swings that would rival a pregnant woman (and I’d know… I was living with one now!), and my odious cleaning chores, I was happy. Not that I had any real right to be – in the space of two weeks I’d gone from the figurehead of the CWF to losing to an (albeit motivated) rookie. I was falling down the CWF crapper faster than John Matthews and Frankie Matos. But for a change, I was able to see the bigger picture; after all, despite these little “setbacks” (Charlotte’s term, not mine - I was livid after last week’s show, and it fell to Charlotte once again to pacify me), I had plenty to be cheerful about.

Let’s see… the return of a breathtakingly beautiful and impressively street-savvy girlfriend?

Check.

A potential little bundle of joy on the way?

Check.

And the formation of undoubtedly the most promising factions in recent memory to finally bring back the long-lost glory days of a company that I loved and that had loved me back for so long?

Check!

So, between The Trinity, my gorgeous girlfriend and our unborn child, I thought I had every reason to walk round the house with a big grin plastered all over my face. Not only that, but a mere two weeks after losing the big one to Jace Valentine at Frozen Over Five, I was being offered another opportunity at gold, one which, with my history, I was confident of grabbing with both hands.

“So, what’s next for Scorpio then?” Charlotte sidled over to me, a can of polish in one hand and a Chamois cloth in the other, as I tried in vain to remove a particularly stubborn stain from the front room carpet. I stood up and breathed out, stretching; I liked that Charlotte always took an interest in what I did with the CWF. She always seemed curious, yet without prying or making me feel like all we talked about was work, and I was always happy to fill her in on the comings and goings of the place.

“Well, looks like Gamble has gone back and had a look at my records from before he came along.” I smiled at Charlotte’s quizzical look, before continuing, “He’s obviously realised that I am the natural heir to the Tag Team Championships that I basically had sole possession of for the best part of two thousand and ten… not that I’m gloating, obviously!” We both chuckled, before I went on once again. “So yeah. Cain has taken his ball and gone home, leaving Angel holding two tag titles. Now, knowing Angel like I do, I’d have thought she’d have been positively salivating at the prospect of defending both Tag Team titles, and more than capable of doing so as well. But it seems something’s happened with her. She’s not been herself for weeks now – she’s almost dropped off the map completely. And so whatever reason, the tag titles have been vacated, and Gamble’s set up a little tag team tourney to decide the new champs.”

“Ahhh” Charlotte nodded wisely, “The sort where they cobble together a few guys who haven’t got a lot going on and then they have to work out exactly how they should team up. Who’re you stuck with then?”

“Oh no, it’s nothing like that.” I replied. “I couldn’t be happier, actually. After weeks and weeks of planning and scheming, The Trinity finally made it’s debut last week. And Dan made quite the impact, if you’ll excuse the pun, by winning the Battle of the Dans and the CWF Impact Title along with it. And now, just a week after that, myself and my excellent ex-con Sean O’Malley get a chance to take possession of another valuable piece of gold.

Guys like us have been overlooked far too many times in this business. ‘Good guys finish last’ and all that shit. Well, we’re starting to break through that glass ceiling now, and starting to prove that, given the opportunity, competitors who are still happy to rely on athleticism, training and hard work to bring us success. We are a rare breed, yet we are the backbone of the CWF. Always plodding away, keeping things ticking over with consistently good performances in the ring, yet often not getting the recognition or respect that our efforts deserve, Well now, finally, the band is together at last. And we’re going to prove that just because we might not necessarily have the tricks or the charisma of a Jace Valentine or an Ataxia, doesn’t make us any less deserving.”

Charlotte looked alternatively amused, surprised and enthralled during my little rant, and gave another little nod at the end of it all, “Sounds like a bit of a mission to me baby, and something worthy of your efforts. But you know you’ll always get the respect and recognition you deserve from me”

I tried desperately to stop myself from rolling my eyes at this uncharacteristic display of mushiness… tried, and failed, and had to pretend to once again pretend to be fascinated by the unknown substance which had embedded itself into the fibres of my living room carpet in order to avoid the inevitable filthy look. Charlotte gave me a little a dig in the ribs before going back to her own cleaning task, but continuing the conversation at the same time.

“So, it’s you and Sean. A good test for you guys to see how your working relationship is holding up after all this ‘secret mentor’ business”

I looked round at Charlotte and smirked, “So you have been doing your homework then…?”

Charlotte didn’t look up from the coffee table that she was polishing, but instead said in a sing-song voice “If a job’s worth doing…” My grin simply widened.

“Yeah, of course you’re right. To be honest, I don’t know why Gamble and Sean wanted the fact that I was mentoring Sean to stay hush-hush. Probably something to do with him being an ex-con, and not wanting to ruin the reputation of the company by having it’s champion involved with shady characters. Who knows. Completely irrelevant, though, if you ask me – my past is hardly whiter than white…”

“Oooh yeah, I forgot, I’m shacked up with a dangerous, imbalanced criminal now…”

I looked up again and shook my head, still smiling, at the cheek of the woman I loved, making sure to give as good as I got.

“Slag.”

“Prick.”

“Stalker”

“Obsessive”

“Anyway! Everyone knows the deal now, so there’s no need to hide our agendas. We’ve been working together since day one for Sean, and I think we’ve got a good understanding of how we both work, both in and out of the ring. I don’t think continuity will be an issue.”

“Well, there’s one bridge crossed. But what about your opponents?”

“Chris Xtreme and Billy Anderson”

Charlotte looked swiftly up from the coffee table and gave me a look, which I returned with a nod.

“I know. Old foes. And hardly championship material, although Xtreme did have a short run with the Paramount Title recently. But neither of them should provide any problems for me. Xtreme can be dangerous and a real threat to anyone in this federation when he’s motivated. Unfortunately, it seems like it takes a lot to actually get him to that point, and, for all the effort, he hasn’t exactly had a lot to show for it over the years. And Anderson has got more fucked up shit going on inside that Stetson than Dr. Jekyll and Ozzy Osbourne combined. He’s hardly got enough room in his head to focus on a small thing such as two members of the most promising stable in CWF’s history. He’ll be easy prey for us if he isn’t focused one hundred and ten percent on the task at hand.”

“But they’ve teamed before?” Charlotte asked.

“Oh yeah, they’ve been involved with each other in every capacity other than in the bedroom department… and between you and me, I wouldn’t discount the possibility of… no, I can’t even say it, it’s disgusting. But yeah, back to the topic at hand – continuity certainly won’t be a problem for Anderson and Xtreme either. They’ve fought as fierce rivals and they’ve teamed up as The XA Express in search of gold – they’ll know each other upside down and inside out.

But there’s no way they’re stopping O’Malley and myself from proving that we have what it takes to win the gold, without any of the showboating or any of the stupid gimmicks that have become far too commonplace in the business today…”

Charlotte couldn’t resist another lighthearted little dig, although this one hit a little bit closer to home, “Haha, sounds like the business is passing you by, old man! You want to quit while you’re ahead!”

I ran my hand through my hair, sighing and looking out over Charlotte’s shoulder at nothing particular, “Ohh, don’t, I had enough of that shit from Dad the other month… don’t think it hadn’t crossed my mind, more than once, specially after I lost to Jace at Frozen Over. It was like I’d peaked, I’d reached the pinnacle and achieved pretty much everything there was to achieve… the only way was down, all I could do now was ruin the mini-legacy that I have forged here in the CWF. And then when I got the news about the baby, well…”

Charlotte gave me a quizzical look, “What dyou mean?”

I opened my mouth, but paused, making sure to phrase what I wanted to say carefully – I didn’t want to fuck everything up yet again, “It’s just I… I dunno… it’s so much pressure and… well… let’s face it, I really thought that any parenting days that I might have had would be behind me. Don’t get me wrong, I was over the moon when you told me, once I’d gotten over the shock, obviously. But as much as I’m looking forward to being a Dad, there are so many things to consider… so many problems…”

Charlotte still looked confused, and more than a little bit worried, “I don’t get what you’re getting at… problems… like what?”

“I don’t know… well, it’s hardly conventional is it…?”

Charlotte smiled with relief, apparently glad that that was all that was bothering me. “Babes, I’d have thought you’d have known me long enough by now to know that I don’t really do ‘conventional’ anyway, so it really doesn’t matter.”

“Yeah but it matters to me.” I shot back bluntly, “For instance, I’m forty five now, right? By the time this kid is ten, I’ll be in my mid-fifties. There’ll be so many things that I won’t be able to do as well as a Dad half my age would be able to do. Being a Dad to this kid scares the shit out of me, I’m not gonna lie… but only because I really really want to do it properly… this is an opportunity that I didn’t ever think I’d get, and I don’t want to fuck it up…”

Charlotte stepped up slowly from the coffee table and made her way over towards where I sat, still with one hand moving vaguely over the persistent stain. She crouched next to me and looked me dead in the eyes, before wrapping her arms around me and bringing me into a close embrace. I buried my head in her shoulder, needing the comfort, feeling like a child in his mother’s arms after a fight or an accident. Normally, this would all be far too emotional and soppy for my liking but right now, I really needed it. I simply sat there, slumped in Charlotte’s arms after pouring my heart out to her, listening to her speaking softly in my ear.

“I have every faith in you Mitch. I know that you’ll be a good father to our child. I don’t even need to see you around kids or anything like that, I just know. I can feel it. Call it a mother’s instinct if you want. But me and you, we’re gonna be alright. However hard it gets, however many mistakes it seems like we’re making, we’ll be alright. Together. Forever.”

This time, I just about managed to stop myself rolling my eyes at the cheesiness of it all, and instead planted another kiss on Charlotte’s lips, wiping a stray hair from out of her eye, before speaking rather gruffly, “We need a few groceries, mind if I nip out, and leave you to this?”

She smiled, and nodded, “Knock yourself out.”

Another quick kiss and a ruffle of my already unkempt hair, and I was off, stepping out of the house without another word, striding down towards the nearby convenience store, trying not to think. Thinking… that was half the problem… it was almost impossible not to think about all these trivial little things that go along with being a Dad at my age – it was so in your face.

Even as these thoughts crossed my mind, I began to see my surroundings in a completely different light. I saw previously unnoticed mothers, pushing screaming children down the road, giving them as much attention as they were giving me. Or a father and his young son, playing in the garden, baseball perhaps, maybe the boy is testing out his first ever glove given to him by a proud Dad. Or tiny, menial things, like the tweeting of several baby blackbirds, waiting for their doting mother to return with food and attention for all. Urgh… it was enough to make you sick… I needed a distraction, and quick, otherwise I was in danger of turning into a soppy, emotional wreck.

Usually, work would provide an adequate distraction from my car crash of a personal life. But unfortunately, I didn’t think I could rely on it this time around – somehow, I didn’t think that Chris Xtreme and Billy Anderson were quite the welcome distraction that I was so desperately searching for. Sure, come bell time, they’d have my full attention, and I wouldn’t be taking either one of them lightly. But I didn’t have a personal beef with them, and in all honesty, I didn’t expect them to even come close to challenging The Trinity in it’s first official outing. No… work would have to take a back seat as well… at least until something more exciting or engaging came up… my distraction would have to come out of left field… after all, aren’t the best distractions those of an unexpected kind?

I’m the underdog
Live my life on a lullaby
Keep myself riding on this train

The familiar strains of “Underdog” by Kasabian reached my ears, courtesy of my furiously vibrating cell phone, somewhere in the vicinity of my right trouser pocket. Forgetting my train of thought and shaking the cobwebs loose, I focused on this latest ‘distraction’, hoping it would be the healthy diversion that I yearned for…

I looked down at the cell phone.

- WITHHELD NUMBER -

Frowning, I paused for just a moment, wondering exactly who could be calling, how they’d got my number, and why they could possibly withholding theirs, before answering all three questions with a press of a button and a single movement of my right arm up towards my ear.

“Hello?”

The voice that replied was female. And unfamiliar.

“Hello, is that Mitchell Hall, also known as The Blue Scorpion, former CWF World Champion and two-time Tag Team Champion?”

I whistled, long and low.

“Wow… what an introduction… if I said yes would you carry on singing my praises?”

“Ohh don’t you worry about that Mr. Scorpio, the singing of praises is the tip of the iceberg as far as my talents go…”

I was confident I’d found my distraction!