Ever wonder if you're doing what you were put here to do? |
Ever wonder why you're here? Why you're doing what you do? I wonder why I work a job that makes me relatively happy, but leaves me so worn out and crabby that I put my writing off with the thought of "I'll do it tomorrow." But tomorrow comes, and the same procrastination along with it. I know what I want, and I know how to get it. But why don't I? Fear of rejection? Fear of realizing I'm not as awesome as I think I am? (Never!!) Or because I am too busy trying to work and survive life? That's a dream on it's own! Or is it because I am just too dang lazy? I know I need to get it done, at least an attempt at getting published or recognized before "being too lazy" becomes "being incapable." But yet I don't do it. I have my times where I will be furiously writing what I hope is the next big break through mystery novel. Telling all my family and friends about my big upcoming accomplishment, "this is it! This is the one!" while they encouragingly respond with "awesome! its about time, I cant wait to read it." Well loved-ones, don't hold your breath because that "one" has once again became another "one" in the half-finished-I'll-do-it-someday folder. I know this is what I'm here to do. This is why I have survived half the stuff I survived. This may, in some weird twist of life, even be the reason I have gone through what I have. Because I can take all my brushes with the law, my animal-saving encounters, my medical mysteries, and turn it all into some enjoyable, crafty reading material for someone out there to enjoy. Most likely my family and friends, just to make me feel better. Now, I don't think I will blow the minds off people and fulfill all the life-long questions humanity has; nor do I claim to know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a lollipop. But I do think I can amuse and inspire at least a couple people. |