Naked Man

Naked Man

There were sounds
and lights so pretty
Here
in a little city

There are people here
Who always party
Like John, Tim
And Marty

But unlike them
Drinking beer with foam
Josh the intern
Just wants to go home

He walks
By himself
As harmless
As a little elf

And he should
Have seen
There's a robber
Who's very mean

Then the robber
Took his things
The robber was fast
Like he had wings

The bag
Had his money
He had to walk home
It wasn't funny

But before the robber
Got to his car
A guy stopped him
He didn't get far

He wore a mask
And a cape
And that was it
Not even a drape

Yes
He was nude
Everyone thought
It was rude

But still
He had power
He can lift
An entire tower

And he can run
At superspeed
And for that
Clothes he does not need

Or even wrestle
A bear
All without
Underwear

Those things he can do
And many more, he can
Because he is none other than
Naked Man!

"Someone smells"
Said the robber
"Naked man,
Take a shower!"

But Naked Man
Gave out a fart
"Okay, I'm ready"
"Let's start!"

And then the robber
Pulled out a gun
He thought to himself
"This guy's done"

But when bullets flew
He ate it all
Like it was beef stew

The robber got scared
He wanted to flee
But Naked Man
Went all Bruce Lee

He punched and kicked
With his foot so heavy
He even attacked
With his belly

With the robber
On the ground
He got the bag
Safe and sound

He saw the citizen
And then he got closer
He wanted to return
The bag to its owner

"Citizen,
I claim no prize"
Josh took his bag
With closed eyes

"Thank you"
They shook hands
Josh said
"Heroes wear pants"

"Nonsense!"
"Heroes only need heart!"
He said this
With another fart

But then
He had to fly
He had to watch the city
From the sky

In the clouds
He lies afloat
He recites
The Naked Man oath:

"In brightest day,
In blackest night,
I fight evil
No underwear in sight!"