The Long Goodbye

They were like excited children as they wandered about the house planning this and that. It was perfect! Ticked all the boxes. Big enough for a growing family, close to all the important amenities, a low maintenance garden, a great kitchen, and all within their price range. Yes, there were a few things that needed doing such as a bit of paint and oh that carpet! It just had to go. But other than that…

Janet remembered the day clearly. They had been so in love, she and Brian and so full of hope for the future. The kids hadn’t been born then and the future stretched luxuriously before them. When their two children had arrived, they were over the moon. David came first, and then their daughter, Julie. No need for more children. They were enough to round out their happy home. They turned their house into a home. Of course, it hadn’t all been a bed of roses. There had been problems along the way, but they always managed to solve them with some good sense and a little bit of humour. They had withstood all life had thrown at them and shook their heads sadly as one by one their friends divorced! Really, she had been so blessed. Their life together had been happy and contented. They even talked about how, in their retirement, they would walk along the beach at sunset, holding hands. She smiled sadly at the triteness of the memory and tried hard to stop the tears.

When had it all started to unravel? She really couldn’t remember. There were some silly little things at the time had made her laugh. Finally, it occurred to her that Brian’s mind was no longer on them. He was forever putting things down and forgetting where he had put them. He had lost interest in the home. He would start something and then walk away as if it didn’t exist. He even started making excuses for not joining in social events. Janet began to suspect there was something going on. Another woman perhaps? Even David and Julie noticed that something was amiss.

Julie was distressed on one occasion when her father reacted angrily to something she said. Her dad rarely got angry. Even when she was a small child, he had never raised his voice to her.

“What is it with dad these days?” David asked once when, in the middle of a conversation about their favourite footie team, Brian simply got up from his chair and walked away.

Janet didn’t have an answer but the small knot of fear lurking at the back of her throat grew, threatening to suffocate her. The once happy home was now shrouded in a feeling of apprehension and there was no let-up!

Janet decided enough was enough. She started making notes about Brian’s behaviour and attended secret appointments. What she learned only made her fear worse. She would cry at the least little thing. She knew for a fact that Brian was going to leave her. She just didn’t know when, but she knew she had to bring things to a head. And soon!

She told David and Julie of what she had discovered and what she planned to do. They were devastated by Janet’s news. They fully supported her and went with her when she met with a solicitor. However, the next scheduled appointment they let her go with Brian alone. They were there though when Brian and Janet got home and the look on Janet’s face confirmed the awful reality. Brian sat in his chair and looked blankly at the silent television. Their tears fell freely.

She did her best to hold on to Brian for as long as she could, but finally, it had to end. She had watched him as he became more and more remote. Then, one morning a policeman brought Brian back to the house after they had found him wandering around the park in his pyjamas. Janet had been frantic with worry and when she saw her beloved husband looking lost and frightened she realised the time had come. She had to give him up. And so she did what everyone said was ‘the right thing’.

Janet forced herself to stop thinking about the past. It was the future she had to concentrate on. A future without the Brian she had married and made all those plans with. The Brian she had married had gone. He didn’t even recognise her anymore. There would be no sunset walks along the beach for them. Even though she hated doing so, she was selling the house. It was farewell to their home they had lovingly created. She had no choice. She needed to ensure there would be enough money for Brian’s care in the nursing home and she had no way of knowing how long that would be. Alzheimer Disease was cruel and it called all the shots.

For now, she needed to concentrate on looking for somewhere new to live.