Once best Friends

You walked out of my life silently, abruptly. I knew somehow that we won't meet again, you wouldn't meet me again, for no plausible reason, but i knew. Because i know you so well since childhood. Since you've left, i have no friends. None at all.
I want to speak my heart out to someone, i don't want to show you the scars you left me to live with. Scars- the once good memories of our childhood, adolescence, adulthood, our friends, your friends, your girlfriends, my friends, my boyfriend, your crushes, your more girlfriends, my colleagues, and us.

I miss you badly but i don't want to tell you how much you've hurt me. Perhaps i was prepared, i knew this was coming when you got married. I expected you to find an amicable way to retain our friendship but you chose a coward way to escape from this friendship that we cherished for 20 years.

I have nobody to talk to, absolutely no one which is why i am writing down all this to vent my feelings. I want to leave everything behind and call you once but i am scared you'll make an excuse and hurt me more. I have nobody to console me so i cant take this big step over my ego to call you in first place.

I'll live with this bitter fact that you left. I'll die with all this but i won't beg you for friendship; had it mattered to you, you wouldn't have left me alone.