amazing bench, gives me sensation of my first love,but still that love feeling was untold. |
It's Aug 5, 2013. When I saw her first time, After completing my school life I migrated to Dehradun for my graduation. It's a miracle I was welcome by a shower of rain. 5 Aug. It was my first day in college, i am curious and little bit afraid about my day. I took a bus and depart at gyani inder singh college, a small college where only pharmacy branch is in progress. I was wander for seeking 1st year class that time my super-duper senior show me the way, I open the door of class, no one there, i put my bag on last bench and sit on that. After few time population increased and our general intro start, few hour latter an announcement is done that 1st students are summon to administrative block for uniform measurement. That was first time when I saw a beautiful lady wearing jeans and light blue top having whitish flower print, I was staring her for a minutes, she finished her work and move to hostel for rest, that time I didn't know her. We some boys mix-up together and start searching canteen we move outside from college and join a restaurant in front of college. We eat lunch at last ask for bill... all are shocked.. It was 460 rupees. Puskar collect money and pay the bill then we again go to college, after lunch I met my known senior Mr Yadav Kant Tiwari he suggest me not to perk with senior. One day gone from next day my cousin ask me about my day and left me to bus stand. That time I aggressive to see her again but it was not in my luck.. I was late and return to room from where Palu sir, Me and My cousin go to Buddha temple, after few days my cousin phone rang.. He speak-up and scold me why I not go to college. It was 13 Aug. when I again go to college, the class was full, many new faces are introduce but she was not coming that day, after 20 Aug. I here her name when someone told me that a girl "Bhawna" is treated badly by senior in college mesh, as a class representative it was my duty to inform that activity to director, on the asking of director she refused easily, and pretend that nothing was happened. I feel bad but this feeling is quit better to listen that she had a boyfriend. As the time was gone my image was built as an angry man who do what he want. I remember that she even I speak her at the end of semester.. I was too afraid form her not know why but really I. In second semester year we have a great teacher who support us and treat as friend, she was my favourite one "Gitanjali mam". I was always in sleeping mode in her lecture, when she asked Mahesh have u got this topic, I answered man I would do it, she give a great smile and start again to give a lecture. That time I coined a name of "chatterbox" for her which had unfinishable batteries. As the time past my friend of last bench start reducing out of 5-6 I only left till 3rd year. Camando, Atlush, Bhuwan, Nandu, and Kasturi, these are best to last bench. At the last of 1st year a rumours was arises "1st year Mahesh Bhatt and 2nd year Sunil Rawat was bunker". It was my luck or his bad luck after bunking college (half day) we met on near to petrol pump, He was my best bunker friend. We are ever seen together standing outside the director room. Beside all these I have a great friend "Neeraj Tatrari" he was my "Dadaa", my most time is spend in their room with Kammu and yadu, we 4 live like a family, and at evening went to get veggies, and smoke, he always kept his cigret away when he had call from his home, looks like a sincere boy. Kammu was decent person he was quiet and mostly seen with yadu, during exam time Neeraj and me took cigiis and smoke one by one till we do not finish all of them. He was my best and always being with me in every mischief. I have a senior Raju Rana who was also a chronic smoker, when he said, Manu I feel hungry, I make "khichadi" even at mid night and take the Wiesel out to the window of my landlord. He was totally annoy from us at last he ordered us to left room till 10 o'clock. We shifted from there to my colleagues room, there we 7 people live in a single room and our study start at night, when we feel sleep we use to theft lichies from the orchids. When we are in second year, one bad incident was happen with Monika during operating tablet punching machine one girl punch her figure, that time we only know each other but everyone help her as a family, that time I understand the power of unity, It was only my batch who done this ever, we get in strike...but till end of day this strike was turns only a memory. As I remember one day we had a new entry in class, everyone stand up and wish "good morning mam" its Neha our new colleague, she put her bag on first desk and sat but we all are stand and watch her as a new alien enter in class, my friend Jagga, he was an amazing guy.. He was funny and announce everyone that she is her choice. He is curious about her but the she was not interested on him. Neha was an intelligent girl she know many thing about the pharmacy, as I know her she had a great mind and want to do something special. But she was a deaf queen over the blind kingdom. At the end of 3rd semester we had a new teacher for CNP, her way of teaching chemistry was interesting. She was Jupiter "Meenakshi mam", in her lectures not only me but whole class was in sleeping mode. She was always try to change me but due to my attitude and behaviour she wouldn't get success. I remember that day when HOD suspend me from class dew to bunking lecture, she think that I was absent that's why I couldn't attained her class but on knowing that I was bunking her lecture she said me to not attained her classes, and I do so.. again not take her class, but it was my bad day she asked me why I not attained her class and order to get out from lab, I put my file and start step toward door from other side director observe me and waiting for coming out, I put hand on my heart pray to god because I didn't want to face director twice a day. Sanaata our director he was a man with rules, but i am always ready to broke his rules, many time he caught me, advise me, punish me, call my father but I was habitual of this. He coined a comment " kutey ki puch kabi sidhe ni hoti" for me and Neeraj, we ever think as he know that why he try to do it. one day I was drunk and went to college after lunch, before stepping inside my senior Sanjay Dhayni says me to go away, I was ready and yet reached to malsi dear park Mr. Sanata watch us and call me back and meet him in his room I was afraid as the smell comes from my mouth, but I manage. He feel that smell and said to drink water and go in class, I thanks god and go to class. Till reach of 3rd year some new friends are there to join last bench even they cover my seat, to sit on that bench. At staring of lecture I was away from my bench but till end I was on it. I like that bench because in 1st year from that bench I saw her, and till last year it gone be addicted, she changed her siting row, i also do but after few time I again come back. At the end of year, it was farewell party organised by our class for our senior, that day in starting she was happy but in middle her mood was disturbed, she sat on the swing and start weeping, as tears rolled down from her eyes, I feel bad and try to quit her but suddenly she sat up and to canteen and said she was fine. That day we all are in our best enjoyment phase. After reaching room I think what was happing on that day, why she was in aggressive mode? My way of thinking was totally changed when we are in our last year, my closest friend Miss "Ansari" told me not to go deep in her love as u get only pain, but I didn't care her words, she continuously counter me to rid away this feeling, when I know my diary is source of leakage information I tore all the secret and burn them. I know my way of loving is different, which has no future but I like that way and I love her knowing all things about her. Now it was last semester a goa tour where we all are together, she was also there I remember that night in train when all are sleep we 5 friend Neha, Bhawna, Kiran, Diwakar and me sat on a single berth and start the conversation on ghost, she was too afraid from ghost as she do not sleep whole night, keeping quit on the corner of berth, she try to sleep but due to our story she was uncomfortable. We all enjoy in goa, when I enjoy presence of my star and moon near the pool, she was also there feeling some upset, her eyes was in deep thinking, I asked her but she say it as tiredness. After returning from tour classes again start, now Miss Ansari start me to tease with a word "OKUU" I always give a smile and try to go away from there, but that time I was in afraid that she heard it or not. Many time Miss Ansari comment to her, she only give a smile and start doing her work. As being special character she has all the qualities, I gave her a special name"DEVIJI" which was closer to my heart. As I respect to goddess I start respect her, because not only I love her, it would be one reason, I only wish for her happiness, but yet she was unknown about my love. Many times I try to know her problems sometime she share that but I can't help on that because it was her personal life, and my interruption may cause more problem to her that's why I would try to left that feeling, but when something connected with both mind and heart it's impossible to left all at single time. As the time was nearer to say farewell to her I got addicted of her, even a single sight pleased me, that time I feel I lost my mind, even during exam when I got tired her feeling refreshed me. At last day i need more and more guts to say only a single words that she is special one for me. Last desk was my lucky desk, as from first year to last it support me, giving success, falling in love, giving a best guys which was never forgettable. As being in last desk my mind ever lost, and I always want to lose my mind. As I want MY Deviji back. |