All Or None

The storm that darkened the vast Massachusetts sky matched her mood. The streets, dark and brooding was alive with a bitter wind.

  Behind the quiet confines of her car, Carrey Landston watched the clouds go heavier and darker as she drove through the city heading for home. Only she knew there wasn't going to be a storm. Keeping her rising temper under check should cover that. She just couldn't help the stream of fury that slipped through the reigns of her control, hard as she tried, bringing in the threat of a storm.

  Controlling her power conveniently wasn't a feat she could boast of yet as she was just new to it. Less than a year ago when her grandmother passed away, she was informed of Khayre; a group of supernaturals that had lived -and were still living - all around the world for more than a thousand decades. Powers and supernatural gifts were passed down every third generation. Her grandmothers gift, which was in tune with nature... controlling or raging down storms was passed on to Carrey. 

  Of course, at that time it sounded like a bunch of crap. Who were these people claiming to know her dead grandmother, and worse, making up stories that she had the power to make rain fall? But after a few surges of rage and fury in Carrey herself, she saw nature respond to her emotions -from soft drizzling rain to angry relentless storms. Then she finally believed.   

  And Adam Bocs, the current cause of her misery and anger, was the one assigned to teach her how to use and control her power.

    They fell in love during the process of teaching and learning - or rather, Carey thought sadly - 'she' fell in love with him, Adam fooled her into believing he was also in love with her. And that was that, she was wiser now and she had moved on. But the little bastard had yanked her chains again today.

  He had slipped his stupid telepathic antanae into her head today - at a terribly important meeting - confusing and disorienting her. Carrey had allowed him to do that when they were lovers, and then it seemed like the most romantic thing. He projected his thoughts, his emotions and how he felt into her head and in turn, read hers. It was usually intense, and ... intimate.  Six months of training and being lovers had convinced Carey there was nothing more she wanted than being with Adam. Forever. She asked him to marry her just two weeks ago. But forever wasn't Adam's thing. They could continue being lovers, for as long as possible, but no talk of marrying. Or kids. Nothing permanent. Unfortunately, she was an all or nothing girl. The total package. Love, marriage, family, kids... 

    Another streak of lightning ripped through the clouds which was growing more omnious by the minute, and a groan of thunder followed barely seconds later. Carrey shook her head to clear it and concentrated on her breathing, counting numbers from 100 backwards. Getting all riled up was going to do more harm than good, she thought as she struggled tobstay above her bringing anger and drove the remaining five minutes home. She was going to have a come - to - jesus talk with Adam whenever she saw him. They were over, and that also meant the slipping and sneaking into her head was over.

    That was the thought on her mind when she pulled into her driveway and saw the spiffy red sports car. Then the unmistakable, adorable, and - oh- so beautiful figure of Adam sitting at her porch steps. Her stomach gave a very painful lurch, her throat, dry and tight let out an involuntary sigh. The thought of sitting in her car, all doors locked until Adam got into his convertible and drove away looked very appealing. She wasn't ready to face him. No matter how mad he had made her.  She killed the engine, parking next to his car instead of behind it so that he could reverse and leave as soon as possible without much trouble.

  He started to walk towards her as she got out of her car. Casual. She reminded herself. It was a mutual thing, we wanted different things. She recited in her head as she met his gaze. And then wondered how she could ever be on a casual level with him again. No one had eyes as blue as that. Deep and dark like the ocean. You could drown in nothingness just looking into them. His hair was askew, she imagined from shoving his fingers into them like he did when he was frustrated.

    "You doing that?" He asked, gesturing with his head towards the dark sky.

"Looks like you're calling a bad tempered storm." 

Carey shrugged, walked past him into the kitchen and settled on a kitchen stool. She might as well get her self under control before they started dealing with whatever he was here for.

  He walked in a few minutes later, and stood by the door, his face solemn.  "I'm sorry about today," He finally said. "I wanted to get in touch with you by all means. You weren't picking your cell and I needed to let you know how miserable I was. I almost went crazy." 

  Carey snorted, a clap of thunder followed it. Adam turned to look out the window, then back at Carey. "You let down that storm now, I don't think we can control it." "Is that why you're here? To talk about the weather?" She asked in a tone that had him take a step back.

"I don't seem to be in the mood for that, so you could just turn around and head back to wherever it is you dropped in from."

  She paused, then added without actually meaning to."You made what we had together cheap. Getting inside my head was inexcusable... "  Adam scratched his head. "Why don't you listen to what I have to say?" "... you dumped me..." "Carrey, I didn't dump you." "... I moved on." She continued, her face pale with rage and hurt. "Then you come back in, and just waltzed inside my head..."  He was in front of her in two long strides and held both her arms.  "I apologize if.."  "Apologize?" The words came out in a sputter. "Let go of me." She pushed him away and stepped down from the stool, all the while trying to keep her temper under check. She was terribly afraid it won't last long. "I'm sorry if I bruised your ego..."    Like a flash, she went from quietly simmering in anger to brewing and then spewing. She walked up to him and shoved him hard. Heat of anger swirling in her eyes.    "You son of a bitch, yes my ego is bruised, a lot more than my ego is bruised. If you want me to develop a sudden amnesia and forget it all, then you're an idiot."  She walked away from him, opened and closed cupboards frantically.    Adam took one look at her furious and red face, the eyes that sparkled with repressed fury and called himself every foul name he could think of. He didn't know how much she'd meant to him until he walked away. It was only a fool that something like that happened to. If only she would just listen to him.  "You looking for a knife?" He said, attempting for a little humor to ease the tension in the air.  "I want you far. Very far away from me right now."  He shook his head. "No you don't. You want me here with you."  The first splatter of rain that hit the roof jolted both of them. But Carrey didn't waver, she picked up a mug at the counter and hurled it at him. It missed his head by a few inches. He was still reeling from the shock when another came flying. And another.  "I hate you... Get. The. Hell. Out"  "Jesus, Carrey!" He caught the next one that was thrown, and saved it from crashing and breaking on the wall behind him like the others. He thought of laughing, he almost did, but a large stirring spoon caught him at the shin and had him seeing stars.    He made a dive for her and held both her arms again. Tighter this time.  "Look, Carrey," Adam said, now at his wits end. "I could just go into your head again and muddle everything up. I could make you see what I ought to have done two weeks ago. I could make you believe, it went just the way you had planned without going through the trouble of explaining myself or fighting to be in good terms with you again."

  Her stomach quivered at that, but her eyes were hard. Her nostrils flaring. "You wouldn't dare" 

"Try me," He said hotly, then sighed in defeat after staring at her for what seemed like an eternity. He laid his brow on hers. "I wouldn't Carrey, because I love you."

He stepped back, his eyes swirling with emotions.

  "I don't think I can live without you. I was a fool. I was selfish. I was scared. My parents... My family, it made me scared of starting another one and bringing a harmless child into a non- functional family like mine."

  She had stopped struggling under his arms and that boosted his courage.

  "If you'll just give me another chance. I'll give you that home you want. As many kids as possible," he smiled when she gave a watery laugh, "Dogs, cats. Hell, I'll buy you a pony if you want one." 

  "You don't want that," she said shakily, her eyes shimmering with tears. "I can't let you do that."

  "Yes, Carrey. I want that more than anything. You're - we're not like my parents. It took me a lot of time to figure that out, and that made me an idiot. I'm sorry,"

  He said slowly, wiping the tear that spilled to her cheek. He released his hold on her and pulled her in for an embrace. His chin on her head. "I'll make it up to you in every way, I promise." 

  He took his first real breath in days when he felt her arms slip around him.

  "You hurt me," she said, sniffling.

  "I know baby, I know. I'm sorry. So sorry."   



  He pulled back and looked into her eyes. The fury and anger was gone. The look there was an unsure one.

  "I'm so angry with you."

  "I think I figured that out. I knew you were mad when the winds picked up. I deserve it."

  "You deserve to be caught up in a rainstorm." She murmured, wallowing in the warm flood of emotions that streamed through her and pulled him down for a kiss. It was just as sweet, just as breathtaking as it had always been. "I love you, Adam."

  He pulled back, and dropped little kisses on her brow, her cheeks, her lips. "I love you too, Carrey." He said, emotion had his voice wavering, "Its raining."

  "Yes, I know." She smiled softly. "It'll stop soon."

  Adam nodded, "So will you ask me again..."

  She shook her head. "You missed your golden chance."

  "Ok, if you're sure..." His eyes locked to Carreys', he went down on both knees and brought out the little box housing the ring he'd gotten just that day.

  Carrey stared at him, at the box, at the ring. It was like she couldn't breathe. Her heart beat faster than she imagined it ever had. He took out the square cut sapphire out of the box and held her hand.

His lips didn't move, but she heard his voice loud and clear inside her head. 

  "Marry me."