Lost part 3

V


As time went on, Clary fell into a comfortable rhythm of going to school, hanging out with Jace and Isabelle and spending hours on the phone with Simon.
Despite the space between them, they managed to stay close, calling each other every few days and making plans to visit during the next holiday.
The only thing that bothered Clary was the fact that Alec, Isabelle’s brother, always kept his distance. He just didn’t seem to like her at all, even though Clary spent a lot of time at their place. She had noticed that, almost every time she stayed over Alec was out, spending time at friends or staying late for football training at school. If he did happen to be home, he retreated to his room and just didn’t emerge until the next morning.

Although Clary understood that some people just didn’t click, it felt strange with Alec. It felt like he was holding back, or deliberately pushing her away. She had tried talking about it with Isabelle, but she had avoided the subject. And although Clary and Jace got along very well it didn’t feel right to talk about it to him. He and Alec were very close, Clary had noticed, and she didn’t want her feelings to cause a rift between them.
It saddened her, because however much she enjoyed the company of Isabelle and Jace, Alec’s behavior made her feel less and less comfortable around them.
She started to ask them over to her place rather than go to theirs for a sleepover, even though with her mom and Luke hanging around it was a lot less fun.

“I mean, how am I supposed to feel Simon? I get that not everyone can like me, but this seems to be going a lot further than that!”
“Hey, relax!” Simon interjected.
“Why don't you just talk to the guy. See if you can get him on his own and talk to him. You can make all the assumptions you want, but unless you hear his side of the story that's all they are ever going to be. So go talk!”
“You're right, of course.” Clary sighed
“It just feels so frustrating. But anyway, can you come over next holiday? I really miss you and I want you to meet Isabelle and Jace!”
“Yeah, I'm definitely coming over! I'm booking my tickets as we speak. I should arrive in two weeks on Saturday.”
“Awesome! I can't wait! You're going to love it here! But I have to go now. I have an assignment to finish and I'm going to need Isabelle’s help I'm afraid. We'll talk soon, right?”
“Yes! Talk soon!”
And with that Skype disconnected.

Clary scooped her bag from the floor, wrote a note to her mom and left for Isabelle’s.
When she arrived however, it wasn't Isabelle or even Jace who opened the door, it was Alec.
“Clary, I didn't expect you here. What do you need?”
“Hi Alec, is Isabelle home? I need some help with an assignment.”
“No, not at the moment. I'll ask her to call you when she gets back.”
“Will she be gone long? I don't mind waiting for a bit.”
“I don't know when she'll be back. Like I said, I'll have her call you.”
“Look Alec, I get you don't like me, but really, what have I ever done to you? You've been rude to me from day one. Why don't you explain why that it? I would really like to know.”
“I don't have to explain myself to you.” Alec said disdainfully.
“No, I don't like you, end of story.”
“I'm sure you have a reason for not liking me. So by all means, spit it out Alec. I'm really tired of feeling like I'm not supposed to be here, like I'm a nuisance or something.”
“That is exactly what you are. Ever since you got here the entire balance has been disrupted. Nothing is like it was, nothing is like it's supposed to be. You don't belong here. What will it take to get through that thick skull of yours? Seriously, just go away and leave all of us alone. And it's not like Isabelle or Jace really care about you either, if that is what you are thinking! They just feel sorry for you because you had to transfer in the middle of the year. And they are too weak hearted to tell you so.”
Clary just stood there, dumbstruck, for a second or so.
Then she turned on her heel and ran off. She nearly smashed into Jace when he rounded the corner, but she didn't stop, even when Jace called out her name.
“Just keep going, keep going and don't look back.” she chanted in her head.
Tears were streaming down her face but she didn't want anyone to see her like this.
After a few blocks she sagged against a portal, totally out of breath, unable to move any further. She didn't even know where she was anymore, and didn't recognize the buildings around her.


“Alec! Alec!!” Jace shouted when he came up to the front porch and found his brother standing in the open doorway.
“What the hell just happened? I saw Clary running of here like a bat from hell! What did you do to her? I swear if you hurt her…”
“I only told her the truth. She doesn't belong here. She didn't really seem to like what I said so she ran off. Not my fault.”
“My God Alec! Are you insane? Are you a complete and utter moron?” Jace screamed.
“Why would you say that to her? And to her of all people? You know what? Don't tell me. But for God's sake, leave Clary alone and stuff your insecurities somewhere where the sun…”
He didn't finish his sentence but ran off in the direction he'd seem Clary go.


Still sobbing Clary tried to focus on her surroundings. She couldn't be lost, not now of all times. Her head was spinning with everything Alec had said, and there was no space left for her thoughts to gather enough to get her home in a city she didn't know.
Dawn was coming quickly and she had to get out of here before it was fully dark. Some part of her mind acknowledged that, but her legs didn't want to move. Behind her she heard some guys walking past. They wolf whistled at her and came in her direction.
“Oh crap.” she thought and willed her body to move. She scrambled up and tried to head towards the exit of the alley.
““Where are you going beautiful?” One of the guys said.
“Don't go, we haven't had any fun yet!” the second one added.
“No, I have to get home.” Clary croaked
“Just let me go, please.”
“Oh look, she's begging, how sweet.” The first guy said.
The group was quickly closing in on her.
“I like it when they beg, turns me on like hell.” and a third man grabbed her arm, turning it painfully to her back.
Clary screeched and tried to pull away, only to feel every muscle in her arm scream in protest.
“Do that again, and I'll break your arm pumpkin.” A growling voice said from behind her. Clary whimpered, but kept still.
The guy's hands were roaming her body, making her gag.

Suddenly, there was a scuffle behind her, and the muffled thump of flesh on flesh resonated in her eardrums. The grip on her arm disappeared so suddenly that Clary lost her balance and smacked down on the pavement.
She noticed that two guys were bashing into the group that had threatened her.
A few minutes and they had all dispersed, running like the devil was chasing them.

“Clary! Clary, are you alright?”
Clary sighed in relieve when she recognized Jace's voice.
“Jace? Yeah, I'm ok I think. He just hurt my arm.”
“I'm so sorry Clary! I couldn't find you any sooner. It wasn't until you screamed that I knew where you were.”
“It's not your fault Jace, really! Thank you for helping me out though.” Clary said, and turned around. She then noticed the second guy who had helped her.
“Thank you.” She said, and he nodded.
“You are most welcome. I was just around the corner when I saw this young man racing towards you. Though he could use the help.” he said, and smiled.
“I'm Magnus by the way.”
“Clary, and this one here is Jace.”
“My car is just down the street, why don't I drive you two home?”
“Oh no, really, we don't want to trouble you.” Jace said
“I insist, please, just follow me.”
And with that, Magnus brought Jace and Clary to Jace’s place.


“Jace!” Alec said when the car pulled up the driveway and Jace got out of the car.
“What happened?”
Jace turned around, furious.
“Are you seriously asking this Alec? Seriously? Just get out of my way, please, before I make you.” and he turned back to the car. He lifted Clary from the seat and carried her, bridal style, into the house.
“Magnus, do come in. You deserve a drink after everything you did!” Jace said over his shoulder.
“Clary, how are you feeling?”
“I'm ok Jace, really. Just don't blame Alec.”
“Really? Of course I blame him. He never should have said all that stuff to you. It's his fault you ran away and ended up in that alley.”
“Where did she end up Jace?” Alec asked from the door.
“Why would you care Alec? You are the one who made this happen.”
“I never meant for Clary to get hurt. You know that Jace.”
“Yeah sure, but if you hadn't been so rude to her, she wouldn't have run. Do you want to know where I found her? I'll tell you. She ended up in the alley behind that shady Italian restaurant. And some of its customers got a hold of her. Happy now, are you?”
Alec looked thunderstruck and slightly green.
“Oh God, Clary I'm so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen.”
Clary looked away. She didn't want Alec to really feel guilty but right now she wasn't able to say that to him.
“Alec, why don't you come with me.” Magnus said suddenly.
“Let's talk a bit and give Jace and Clary some time alone. Come on, let's get us a drink. Lead the way.”
Alec just nodded, dumbfounded and Magnus followed him out the door.


Somehow, the two boys leaving the room seemed to flip a switch for Clary. All the pent up emotion from the last hour just came spilling out. Jace pulled her close and hugged her. He stroked her back making no nonsense sounds trying to soothe her. Her fear was palpable, it radiated off her. It took every bit of restraint he had not to break down with her. His own feeling of panic when he had heard her scream nearly overwhelmed him again.


In the kitchen meanwhile Magnus had poured Alec a drink and was looking at him over the rim of his glass.
“Alec, what on earth happened?” Magnus asked softly.
“Please tell me this has nothing to do with our conversation earlier today?”
Alec didn't speak, he just looked at Magnus.
“Alec! Talk to me! We need to figure this out.”
“I don't know Magnus. I really don't know. She showed up unexpected and I just snapped. I never thought she'd get in trouble like that.”
“Of course you didn't expect that, but even so, you should never have done this. You can't let an argument between us result in something like this. I get you were upset by the things I said to you, but this, Alec?”
“I'm sorry Magnus, really, but how can I tell Clary this? She'll hate me and she'd have every right to do so.”
Give her some time now. Afterwards talk to her. Apologize and try to tell her why you reacted the way you did. You've lived in secret and fear for far too long already Alec. Let it out. No one will judge you, and if they do, they're not worth your time.

“Alec? Jace?” Isabelle’s voice came from the hallway.
“You guys home?”
“We're here.” Jace called from the living room. Clary was still cuddled up against his side, wrapped in a blanket.
“Jace, do you know where…” Isabelle began when she opened the door, but stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Clary.
“Clary! What happened to you?” she said, rushing forward to hug her friend.
“I'm ok Izzy, don't worry. I just took a wrong turn on my way home and ended up in a wrong alley. I was lucky Jace and Magnus came by. They helped me out.”
“She was in the alley behind Restorino’s.” Jace said and Izzy paled.
“Oh Clary, really, this could have turned out really badly! I'm glad that you seem to be fairly ok.”
Behind Isabelle’s back Jace looked questioningly to Clary, who subtly shook her head. She didn't want Isabelle to know what Alec had said. It was obvious to her that he felt really bad about it and he didn't need anyone else nagging at him about it. Jace would do that enough.
He sighed, but nodded back at her. Although he didn't agree, he wouldn't tell Isabelle what had happened when Clary didn't want him to.

“Can I stay for the night?” Clary asked.
“Luke and my mom aren't home and I really don't feel like being alone tonight.”
“Of course you can.” Alec’s voice came from the door. I wouldn't want you to be alone at a time like this. I'm really sorry for what happened.”
“Don't worry about it Alec. I'm ok, really.”
Alec smiled at her and left the room, taking Magnus by the hand. He needed some distractions and knew Magnus could provide.


“Izzy, could I borrow some clothes? I'd like to take a shower and then go to bed I think. I feel exhausted.”
“Sure, I'll get you some jammies for the night and some clothes for tomorrow. How long are Luke and your mom away?”
“Oh, they won't be back till Monday, so another three days before they're back.”
“You should stay here for that time.” Jace said.
“It's not right for you to be alone right now.”
“Thanks Jace,that'd be really nice. I'll see you in a bit after the shower.”
With that Clary and Isabelle went upstairs and Jace was left alone in the living room. Hey thought back to the events from that day. He remembered the distraught look on Clary’s face when she'd nearly run him over. The anger he had felt when Alec told him what had happened just moments before. And worst of all, the fear tearing through him when he had heard her scream in the alley. He had never thought he would feel that kind terror ever again. It reminded him painfully of the day that he and his mother had come home to find his father murdered at the bottom of the stairs. His mother’s screams had resonated through his head for months on end. The despair and sorrow so evident.
Clary’s screams had brought it all back, so immensely forceful that it knocked the breath out of him just thinking about it. He closed his eyes and tried to concentrate on the everyday sounds around him. The birds in the garden, the wind through the trees, the water of the running shower. It calmed him a little and he got the control back over his breathing.
He stayed like that for quite a while, just sitting on the floor, his back against the sofa, his eyes closed.


“Jace? Are you ok?”
Clary sat next to him, her hand on his arm.
He hadn't heard her coming in. He hadn't even noticed the shower stopping.
“Yes, I'm all right. You shouldn't worry about me, silly.” he said, smiling.
“I do worry about you. I've seen the look on your face when you rescued me. You looked like you'd seen a ghost. And I'm really sorry for causing you any distress.”
“I'm fine, really. It's just hard hearing a friend scream like that. And it brought back a lot of memories. But that's in the past now. It'll be better by tonight.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No, not right now. I'm starving, so let's get some food on the table, shall we? And do you know where Izzy is?”
“She said she'd be down in a minute.”
“Perfect. I'm not a great cook, but if you don't mind spaghetti Bolognese, I'll fix us dinner.”
“I’d love to. Let me set the table.”

Despite the eventful day, they had an amiable evening of eating, talking and watching movies. It was late by the time they all decided to go to bed.
“Night Jace.” Clary said from the doorway of Isabelle’s room.
“And thanks again for everything.”
“Sleep tight Clary, and you're most welcome. I did what anyone would have done.” Jace said, and he turned into his room.
Clary crawled under the comforter in the spare bed and closed her eyes.

It felt only like minutes later that she woke up, smothering a scream in her pillow.
Her breathing was heavy and her heart was racing against her ribs.
The dream had been terrible and had felt so very real. She was back in the alley, the guys were advancing on her, but this time, Jace hadn't been there to save her.
Sighing she drew back the blanket and quietly left the room. Isabelle was still fast asleep and she didn't want to wake her up.
She slipped down the stairs and toward the kitchen to get a glass of water. She knew trying to get back to sleep was futile at the moment.
“Clary?” a voice sounded from the living room.
“Jace? What are you doing up?” Clary said surprised.
“I could ask you the same thing.” Jace smiled. “But I think I might know the answer already. Bad dream?”
“Yeah.” Clary sighed. “It's pointless trying to get back to sleep right now. So I thought I'd get something to drink.
“Now how about you? What brought you down here at two in the morning?”
“Nightmare, same as you I guess. It's happened before, although it's been a while.”
“I'm sorry to hear that. Do you want to talk about it?”
“There's not a lot to say about it really.” Jace said, deliberately looking the other way.
“Do you actually know how I came to live here? I mean, you know I'm not really related to Izzy and Alec, don't you?”
“Izzy mentioned that, yes, but we never really talked about it though. She just said that, when you were ten or eleven I think, you came to live with them.”
“That is indeed the basic story. The reason I came to live here though is that, at the age of ten, me and my mother found my father dead at the foot of the stairs in our house. He'd been murdered. And shortly after that, my mother disappeared. They never found a trace of where she might have gone to. It seemed like she was just wiped from the earth. I know for sure she didn't leave on her own account, but there is no prove for that theory. Maryse and Robert Lightwood had been family friends for a while already and had helped me and my mom out after my dad died. They offered to take me in so I wouldn't end up in the foster system. I gladly accepted because I didn't want to leave this area or go to a place with no friends. There was one other family friend who offered the same, but he was rejected because he's a single guy, no relationship and no children of his own. They obviously thought that the Lightwoods were the better choice, and I can't say that I disagree. They have always been there for me, never judging.”
“I'm so sorry Jace. That must have been a terrible time for you.”
“It's a long time ago, and I've had a really good support system. The events of today just brought everything back up. That's all. Give it a few days and things will get back to normal again.”
“I hope so.” Clary said.
“ I'm sure it will. I think I'll go back to bed. Try to catch some sleep after all.” and he started towards the stairs.
“Jace?” Clary said softly.
“Yeah Clary, what's up?”
“I don't want to be alone tonight. It freaks me out right now. Could you stay with me?”
“Sure, you want to stay here in living room or go to my room. It's got a double bed.”
“Bed sounds far more comfortable to me.” Clary smiled.
“Let's go then.” Jace said and he took her by the hand.
Together they went upstairs, cuddled up in bed, one next to the other, and fell soundly asleep.





VI
“Simon! Simon! Over here!”
It had been a few days since the events in the alley and the holiday had started.
Simon had come over to stay at Clary’s house for a week and Clary had gone to pick him up at the train station.
“Clary! How are you?” Simon said when he had made his way through the crowd.
“I'm fine Simon, thanks. How’re you?”
“I'm all right! Happy to see you again! It's been too long!”
“I know! It's been ages! Come on, Luke is waiting in the car. I've got loads planned for you!”
“Awesome! Can't wait Fray!”

Together they trudged off to the car and Luke gave Simon a warm welcome as always.
In no time they were at the house and Simon had installed himself in the spare bedroom.
They were lying next to each other on the bed, looking up at the ceiling.
“So, how has it been here for you? Made any new friends?” Simon asked, tilting his head so he could see Clary.
“Yes, I made some really good friends. You’ll meet them soon. We’re going over for a movie marathon tomorrow if that’s ok with you.”
“Sure, I’d love to meet them.”
“Great! I’m sure you’ll love them!”

Things had been a little awkward since the events in the alleyway.
Alec had been doing his best to be nice to her, Izzy had been fussing over her, making sure she was ok and Jace had just stood by, always there, a bit like a shadow. Clary tended to put up a brace face whenever she was with company, but she had the nagging feeling that Jace could see straight through it. He never said anything, but she felt his gaze on her whenever she tried to block her emotions.

“Are you ok?”
Simon brought her out of her reverie and looked worried.
“What? Oh yeah, sorry.”
“You completely zoned out. What happened?”
“Just rethinking stuff. I had a less than happy experience a few days ago. It gets to me sometimes.”
“Why? What happened?”
“Just ran into some idiots who thought they could have their way with me. Jace and Magnus came up to me just in time. Nothing really happened, but it keeps getting in my head.” Clary sighed.
“That sounds awful.” Simon said, his eyes wide.
“Don’t tell mom or Luke, they don’t know.”
“Why not? They should know! Luke’s a cop, he can do something about it.”
“He can’t Simon, I don’t have an identification for any of them. And Jace and Magnus would get into trouble too because they hit the… well you get it, don’t you?”
“I do, but I’m not sure it’s the right thing though.”
“I am, just leave it be. I’m fine most of the time.”
They ambled off in amiable conversation, just like they used to have. And before either of them noticed, they had fallen asleep, one next to the other, fully dressed, on top of the bedcovers.


Jace lay awake that night, looking up at the ceiling of his room.
Ever since the run in with the guys in the alley he had been worried about Clary. She was a little withdrawn, trying to be brave and not show how much the events affected her. He knew she hadn't told anyone about it, but he wasn't sure it was the best thing to do. He would just have to keep an eye out for her, just in case.
She would come over the next day with her old time friend Simon. He was curious to who the guy would be, and how it was that, being her all time best friend, they hadn't ended up together. He didn't complain, but it did frazzle him a bit. But then again,maybe it was like with him and Izzy. More brother and sister than anything else.

His phone buzzed on the bedside table. Sighing he picked it up and read the text.
~Tomorrow, 7pm ~ was all it said.
His insides instantly fell like lead and he had a strong urge to throw up.
He rolled over and tried to calm his breathing and control his heart rate. There was no use in losing sleep over it now. Her have to find a good excuse to be late at the movie marathon and hope the physical evidence could be masked.


“Hey Izzy!” Clary called when she opens the front door.
“Hi Clary!” a voice came from upstairs.
“I'll be down in a minute.”
“Come in Simon, this way.” Clary said and she pulled Simon by his arm to the living room. Izzy had clearly been busy preparing. There were cushions scattered on the floor on top of the mattresses she had put down before the couch. Boxes of snacks and drinks were stacked against the wall next to a huge pile of blankets.
“Wow, she really went out of her way.” Simon said.
“Yeah, Isabelle loves this kind of stuff. She always goes completely overboard.
“Oh hey Alec! Didn't hear you come in. Simon, this is Alec Isabelle’s older brother. Alec, this is Simon, my oldest friend.”
Clary introduced the guys and left them to chat so she could go find Isabelle.
“Hi Izzy, need some help?” Clary said when she found Isabelle in her room, nearly buried beneath a pile of clothes.
“No, no I'm fine. Just found what I was looking for.” she said and came up for air.
“Good! I thought I might have had to rescue you from this humongous clothing beast.” Clary laughed.
“I haven't seen Jace yet, isn't he around?”
“He’ll be home in a bit. Some guy from class, Brian I think it was, needed help with an assignment he had to finish before leaving on holiday. So he called Jace and he went over. Let's hope he'll be home soon.”


Jace took a few deep breaths before opening the front door and walking in. Going to Valentine's that night had been one of the hardest things he'd done in quite a while. He desperately wanted to stay home, see Clary and make sure she was all right. Valentine had noticed and had taken his displeasure out on him any way he could. Jace's back was in fire and he felt ready to faint. For the first time in a very very long time, Valentine had managed to make his cry out. He hated himself for it, felt weak and useless, but he knew that it couldn't have been helped. Valentine had been vicious, he had wánted him to cry out and had kept going until he had gotten his wish.

Jace shook his head, trying to clear it and went inside. There was laughter coming from the living room and he heard a voice he didn't recognize.
Simon, of course, he'd almost forgotten that Clary would bring her best friend along. He peaked inside the room and saw Clary, Isabelle and Simon sitting happily on the floor talking and trying to decide what movie to watch first.
“Hi Jace!” Clary said when she saw him standing in the hallway.
“Hi there!” he replied
“Let me freshen up and I'll join you in a bit.”
He tried to sound cheerful and hoped he would deceive Clary. He didn't want her to be worried about him.
He dragged himself upstairs and into the shower. The water going down the drain turned bright red and he grunted with the pain of the water streaming down his bruised and battered back.
Over the past years Jace had managed to find different ways to cope with the physical evidence of Valentine's treatment. Layering shirts, just to make sure the blood of any opening welts wouldn't soak through, always wearing black, so the red stains would show. Tonight, he just bandaged his entire torso to stop the bleeding. He had several hours ahead before he might be able to excuse himself to go to bed. If he didn't fall asleep in the living room that was.




Clary sat on one of the mattresses on the floor watching a soppy love story. Behind her, Simon and Isabelle were sitting on the couch. With a hidden smile she noticed how both of them tended to slowly inch towards each other during the movie. They had taken an instant liking to each other when she had introduced them. It was rather funny to see Simon blundering about. He’d never been exactly smooth around girl, but put him in a room with someone he really liked and you got the best really TV you could ask for.
But what most surprised Clary was the fact that Isabelle too seemed out of sorts. The always overly confident Izzy was lost for words in close proximity to Simon. It was simply hilarious.

A noise in the hallway caught Clary’s attention and, thinking it might be Jace, she looked up. To her surprise however it was Alec, standing, slightly awkward in the doorway. He gestured to her, making her to come over.
Clary got up and walked over. She followed Alec to the kitchen where he sat and poured them both a drink.

“How are you, Clary?” he asked
“I'm all right Alec, thank you. How are you?”
“I'm ok I guess. Been feeling really bad about what happened to you though. It really was my fault. I shouldn't have snapped at you. It were my own problems that got the better of me and I never should have let them spill out like that. I'm so very sorry Clary.”
“Oh Alec, don't beat yourself up over it. It happened, but we'll get through it. I don't blame you.
“Do you want to talk about it? About what made you snap?”
“I don't know. I feel like such an idiot now. It was something Magnus said to me earlier that day. It had me all worked up and frazzled and for some stupid reason it blew when you came here.”
“You knew Magnus before he came to drop me and Jace off?”
“Yes… I… I know him. But no one here knows that.”
“Ok… you kind of lost me there. Why wouldn't anyone know about you and Magnus being friends?”
“Well… I just don't feel comfortable about it.”
Alec looked down at his hands, at a loss for what to say next. Clary looked at him,unsure how to continue. It was obvious that he was uncomfortable, he didn't meet her eyes, was fidgeting with his hands,... Clary had a suspicion what this was about, but wasn't sure how to bring it up.
Eventually deciding to just jump in straight ahead she said:
“Alec, do you mean that you and Magnus are more than just friends? Are you seeing each other?”
Alec’s head shot up, his face a shade of bright red.
“Did you know?” he asked, voice shaking.
“I had a suspicion, yes. And I have a faint feeling that there might, at some point, have been feelings for Jace too. And that might well be the reason you lashed out at me. But I also think that something happened that day between you and Magnus, which contributed to the harshness of our encounter.”
Alec buried his face in his hands and turned a bit away from Clary. She could hear him breathing hard and his shoulders heaved a little.
When he looked back up at her, his cheeks were wet.
“You are right.” he whispered
“Both about me seeing Magnus and about us having had a row that day. Me and Magnus have been going out for quite a while now, but I haven't had the heart to tell anyone yet, least of all my parents. They are very traditional and I'm afraid they won't accept it. Magnus had told me that day that I should talk about it. Be honest to Izzy and Jace and to my parents. It scared the hell out of me and I was really angry at him for putting me on the spot.
“And yes, I have had feelings for Jace, although over time they developed into more normal brotherly feelings. I have seen him get hurt by girls several times, and I don't want that again for him. I know that isn't your intention, but the whole situation is seriously scaring me out of my wits.
“And I think that, all those pent up feelings and frustrations just exploded that day. And again, I'm really very very sorry about it.”
“Oh Alec, it's ok. I'm really glad you told me about it. And maybe we can find a way to get you to talk about it to your family. Although, if you just invite Magnus over for a movie night or so, it'll be clear to Izzy and Jace very soon. You wouldn't have to talk about it, just show them. And you can tackle the parent-problem later.”
“Thank you Clary, really.” Alec said, and got up and hugged her.

By the time Clary got back to the living room Simon and Isabelle had snuggled up together on the couch.
She found Jace half lying on the floor next to the spot she had occupied before.
He smiled at her and she popped down in front of him.
“How are you?” he asked softly.
“I'm ok, thanks. And you? You look tired”
“I'm am right. Haven't slept well the past nights, so yeah, I'm tired. But don't worry about me. I'll be fine. Just need a few decent night's sleep, that's all.”
Clary smiled at him, but she still looked a little worried. Jace’s face was a little drawn, like he was in pain.
“Did you already eat?” she asked
“No, not yet. But I'll get something later.” Jace replied.
“That's ok, I'll go get you some soup. It's the French union soup you like so much.”
“Oh yum!” Jace said with a smile
“Is there any toast and cheese to go along with that?”
“Of course.” Clary laughed and she got up to get him a bowl of soup, some grated cheese and a pack of toast.

Jace ate with gusto, wolfing the soup down in record time. He had been hungry, but too tired and sore to get up again. He'd planned on just eating the snacks Izzy had put out to quench most of his hunger. But Clary’s offer of soup had been heaven sent. “Thank you.” he said, when he had finished.
“It was really nice.”
“Don't mention it. I just figured you'd like it.”
“I did, thanks. You know me too well.”
“I practically live here Jace, it'd be terrible if I didn't at least know a little bit about you wouldn't it?”
“Ok, touché.” Jace said and got up to bring the bowl back to the kitchen.
Getting up hurt, and his face tightened at the movement.
Clary noticed his difficulties and frowned.
“Are you alright Jace?”
“Yeah, nothing to worry about. Just a bit sore. I think I ended up tangled in bed or something, it’ll be over soon enough.” Jace said flippantly, waving her concern away.
But Clary was having none of it.
Looking over her shoulder she saw Isabelle and Simon huddled on the couch with eyes only for each other.
They wouldn’t notice her leaving so she got up and followed Jace out of the living room.
She stopped at the doorway of the kitchen though.
Jace stood at the counter, his hands flat on the surface, head bowed, shoulders heaving with a heavy breathing she associated with trying to manage a lot of pain.
Every part of his features radiated pain, sorrow and disturbing amount of fragility.
The sight caught Clary so off guard that it made her stagger.
She stood there a moment, trying to gather herself.

“Jace?” she said softly, but he didn’t react.
He seemed so lost in his thoughts, his own world.
Clary stepped into the kitchen and approached Jace carefully until she stood next to him and put a hand on his shoulder.
He jumped and pulled away, fear in his eyes.
“It’s just me.” Clary said, withdrawing her hands quickly.
Jace relaxed a bit, but his eyes were still a bit weary, not quite at ease yet.
“I’m sorry I scared you.”
“Oh no, don’t worry. I’m sorry for zoning out on you. I didn’t think you’d come here.”
“I know, it’s ok. But Jace… I’m worried about you. You’re hurt, in more ways than one, and I kind of have the feeling you’re not talking about it to anyone.”
“I’m alright Clary, really. I’m just really tired and that’s why I zoned out like that.”
“I’m not talking about you zoning out, I don’t mind that one bit. I am talking about you hurting physically. I saw the look on your face when you got up just now, and it’s not the first time I noticed things like that. You tend to avoid physical contact at times and so often there’s a haunted look in your eyes, enough to give me nightmares if I were to linger on them.
“Something is seriously troubling you and you’re not talking about it. Please Jace, please let someone help. I’m willing to listen if you want, or talk to a counsellor at school if you must. But the way I see it, this can’t go on much longer.”
Jace look at her, his face blank and his eyes very dark.
Without another word he turned around, stalked passed Clary and ran out of the kitchen up the stairs. She could hear a door banging shut above her head.

Clary stood stunned and frozen in the middle of the kitchen.
She slowly turned towards the sink, where Jace had stood to wash the soup bowl.
Something caught her eye though which made her stop dead in her tracks.
On the white countertop, just next to the sink, stood a bright red handprint, just there where Jace had been moments earlier.