Hate

I hate myself.
There, it finally has been said.
I'm not saying I want to end it
I'm not wishing I were dead.
But the fact is,
I hate my flaws
I hate the way I am
I hate the freckles on my nose
And I hate my pale blue eyes
I hate the way I laugh and smile
And I hate my too big thighs
I hate that I am always
Looking at who is there to see
I hate that I'm always afraid
Of actually being me
I wish that I could be more like her
Or I wish I could be like him
And I'm always stopping to compare myself
To living my life like them.
Sometimes I wonder why I'm here
And who I'm meant to be
And sometimes I get to the point where I'm ready
To cease being me.
I find myself just thinking
What if I died today
Would any one even miss me
Or would they all be okay
Now I know that there is a plan
Coming from up above
But how I can I see it, how can I feel it
If I'm devoid of love?
I started out "I hate myself."
But I guess that’s not really true
I hate the fact that I cant be me
Like you have always been you '
I hate that I am not enough
And that you can easily forget
And let me go and walk away
Like we never met.
I thought that maybe you were the one
And that it was me you'd save
But how could I have thought that
And gave you everything I gave
Cause I am me
And you are you
And that will never change.
You deserve the best of life
And clearly that isn't me
So I will go and let this earth
Of me be finally free.