Cornelius gets a Cold

It was a cold, rainy morning, the last of the winter snow had disappeared in the Spring rain. The light went on and made Cornelius jump. He shut his eyes and squeezed them tightly. “Time to get up Cornelius,” his mother said. He squinted as his eyes adjusted to the light, then he groaned coughed a deep phlegmy cough and let out a big sneeze. “You don’t look so good his mother said to him as she felt his hot sweaty forehead. He sneezed again. She went into the bathroom and came back with a glass of water and two little red pills, “You’re staying home today” she told him as she handed him the glass and pills. “Take these and go back to sleep. She took the glass and tucked him in as he snuggled under the covers. Too bad he couldn’t feel more excited about staying home from school he thought and soon the pills were taking effect. Corny was asleep, breathing in,breathing out, in, out…

Corny opened his eyes and looked around it was all sticky and drippy. He heard someone say “Hey, kid hold on “ Corny looked around, the voice said again, “Now kid now!” Corny grabbed the first thing he saw and held on tight. There was a rush of air and some gooey stuff. What just happened, Corny thought that he’d just been slimed! The voice came again,”Hey kid you alright?” I’m okay, but where am I and who are you Corny asked. Look up the voice said and when he did he saw two blob like things and one of them said, “Allow me to introduce myself, I’m Phlegm and the other one said, I’m Mucus, pleased to meet cha” Corny couldn’t shake hands so he nodded “I’m Corny nice to meet you too. Can you tell me where I am and why it’s so gooey in here.”

Phlegm and Mucus looked at each other and said in unison, “Welcome to the nose, TaaaDaaa!!! Oh, no here we go again, hold on and once again came a rush of air and more gooey stuff. “What happened” asked Corny. “That my friend was a sneeze, the nose has a cold.” That explains a lot said Corny. How do I get out of here”Phlegm said “If you keep going straight ahead you’ll be down by the throat and someone there can help you and with that Phlegm and Mucus slipped out. As he started on his way to the throat he thought that this all seemed very familiar.

Corny came to the entrance, “Hello, is anybody here? He asked. He heard a noise and followed it and it got louder. It sounded the way he had on his last birthday when he and his best friend Seth had inhaled helium from the balloons and it made their voices sound funny. The funny voices kept saying, Jump, Jump, Jump!!! He heard another voice that said, “ Don’t listen to them they’re just adenoids, they don’t know what they are saying. The adenoids continued to say, Jump, Jump, Jump!! Finally the other voice said “Quiet!!! Thank you that’s better, if you come closer I’ll help you. Corny went through an opening known as the epiglottis and landed on what he recognized as the tongue, “Hey he said, I’ve been here before.

Corny stepped closer and there up in front of him was the voice, it said, “Hello, I am Princess Uvula and I will help you get home, but you must hurry before the battle begins. “What battle are you talking about?” Corny asked. “Oh it’s terrible but I can’t talk about it now, We must get you home. Just go further down and when you come to a ridge jump on the edge of it. I’ll have Phlegm and Mucus go with you, and in slid Phlegm and Mucus. “Hey long time no see!” You must hurry you don’t have much time, and with that Corny waved good-bye. On the way he asked them how they managed to show up so quickly, Phlegm said, Oh that was because of post nasal drip, “Yeah, post nasal drip Mucus repeated. What’s that noise Corny asked, “ Oh it’s wheezing and stridor Phlegm said, Who’s that? Corny asked. “It’s not a who said Mucus, It’s the nose having a hard time breathing because he’s all stuffed up and before Corny could respond they were on their way down the larynx.

Down, down down, in, out, in out … Corny found himself on the edge of the ledge, he heard “Hey be careful up there” “Sorry, Corny said “Ah, forget about it, I’m Louis Lung and next to me Louise we’re the lungs, be careful up there young man as he hopped off he heard what sounded like chipmunk voices saying, The battles about to begin, the battles about to begin. Corny said out loud, “Where am I?” A voice that sounded like his Uncle Joe from the Bronx said, “Hey kid, yeah, you, you’re in the Bronchi you want to make something out of it?” Another voice came through saying never mind the bronchi they think they know everything. “I heard that!” There’s nothing like a bronchi with attitude. “ I heard that too” Corny looked up and saw what looked like a talking bubble. “Hello, I’m Ava Alveoli. I’m an air sac in the lung at your service.” “I’m Corny nice to meet you. I really want to go home can you help me?” “I can help you, hopefully before the battle begins. What is this battle? “Oh it’s terrible but I can’t talk about it, maybe King Hilar can tell you, but you must leave quickly. I can get you to the land of Hilum and the king will help you the rest of the way. “How do I get there, Corny asked. Ava said, “ Well, you just go to the right and take the first bronchiole, that’s the smallest branch of the bronchi which is a branch of the trachea and from there you should be able to make it home. Oh, by the way, don’t take any guff from the bronchi, their bark is worse than their bite.

Before he knew it he was on his way on a bronchiole with two others. They looked like the two pills his mother had given him, “Pssst, Pssst, hey kid we’re here to help you . Corny turned to face them and one of them said, “Hi, I’m Time and the other said, I’m Release of the Capsule family. Corny nodded and said hello to them as the three of them traveled to the land of Hilum where King Hilar welcomed all of them, however Time had to leave suddenly and PoP he was gone and soon so did Release. He Popped and he was gone. Corny didn’t even have time to say goodbye to them. It was just Corny and the king and he said to Corny, “I will help you get home. “What happened to Time and Release? Corny asked. “It was their time to help fight the battle. “Can you please tell me about this battle Corny begged, maybe I can help fight it. Nobody will talk about it.” King Hilar said, I will tell you about the battle. You see every so often a terrible horrible thing gets loose from the zoo. It is a Rhinovirus and it does terrible things and wreaks havoc over the land.” “It sounds horrible can I help fight it.” There isn’t much you can do here, it’s very important to get you home. You’ll be able to fight it better at home.” I don’t understand Corny said. You see it is a cold. Corny understood and agreed to do his part at home, besides he was feeling a bit tired anyway.

The king got Corny on his way on the next expiration of Carbon Dioxide and with the help of a couple of good jolts from some coughing from the human Corny found himself in the paranasal cavity. He knew what was next, he felt it coming and grabbed hold of something and then...AHHH, AHHH, Chooo!!! Corny closed his eyes.

When he opened them he way lying on his bed and his mother was handing him a tissue. He felt a lot better, the battle must be over he’d won. He sneezed again, well almost

Corny settled back into his pillows glad to be home. His mother brought him some chicken soup and turned on the television. The commercial that came on was the one about the dancing time release capsule. Corny couldn’t believe it and laughed as he ate his soup.