Tidbits

The first time I realized I wanted to die
I was thirteen
And there's no really anything pretty to say about that
Is there?

I'm not wallowing in self hatred
I'm drowning in it
Choking on confidence
Snares of esteem tangled around my ankles
Pulling me down

There is nothing you could say to me
that I haven't already heard
My potential
My brains
If I only tried harder
If I cared
About school
And the future
Lazy
Sleeping
There is nothing you can say
That will surprise me
Or force me to change
So please stop trying
Because I've heard it all before