Brits in Wales Part Two

The British Empire in Wales Part Two by Rory Smith
The British in Wales Part Two
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Introduction to Part Two
I have given the same introduction to Part Two, as I did for Part One.
But the rest of the text is different to Part One.
This is a satirical story, with 3 specific aims, as stated for Part One;
1) Satire of the British Empire which did some terrible things in its history with tens of millions killed in famines, wars and genocides. This tale imagines how it would be if the Welsh had been as badly treated by the British Empire, as other nations of the British Empire were.
2) Satire of my youthful nationalist tendencies. The tale imagines how I saw England. In reality, as an adult I realise England is no worse than any other nation. And English people are the same as other peoples of the world, but in this story England, and the British Empire are the worst nations of the modern world. Scotland is a major partner with England in the British Empire, in this story.
I was a Celtic nationalist growing up. But I realise the Celtic nations, including Scotland, are the same as other nations. And Scotland and Wales, were as responsible for the British Empire as England was. This story is a satire of my nationalism, not of the reality of the modern nation of England. Anyway, if anything I get on better with English people than anyone else, so please do not take this a real analysis of England.
3) The story is also a satire my youthful left wing views. In this story the upper class and monarchies abuse people in terrible ways. I have discovered upper class people are the same as everyone else too. Also in reality the modern monarchy of the UK seem very nice people. But in this story the upper class, and monarchy are imagined how I saw them, when I was a kid. It is going to the extreme to mock how I thought about the class system.

Part Two Starts Here
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Chapter Four
After the rest time, Abraham was introduced to the leader of the Freedom Resistance. The leader was Catherine Olwyn. Catherine introduced herself saying, ‘England is the only country where intellectuals hate their own nation. Because we have so much to be ashamed of unlike other nations, who have never done any wrong.’
Abraham, pointed out other countries had done wrong, such as NAZI Germany, Communist Soviet Union, Communist China, Imperial Russia, the slavery of the USA, the French Empire, the German imperialists, the Japanese Empire, the Belgian Empire, the Dutch Empire, Imperial China, and the Spanish Empire. In fact every country will have done something wrong, even Wales.

Chapter Five
The Prince of the Scottish, was a tall dark haired man who went to the best Scottish and English public schools, and Cambridge University.
While at university, he would regularly walk up to the working class students, and explain to them, that they had a sense of entitlement that they should be at university, that was unjustified. What they did not realise, he claimed, was that posh people were more entitled to go to university because their parents had more expectation for them to succeed in life, and had paid for the education of the working classes? Furthermore the upper classes were genetically more intelligent than the working and middle class, as proven by the fact that more posh people went to Oxford, and Cambridge than working or middle class people. It was breeding, and people should know their place.
Whenever a working class or middle class person explained that they had better grades than him, he would beat them with a stick, and threaten to have their girlfriends raped.
Today the young man was carrying out a massacre of a series of villages to build his new golf course. He was Prince Robert. His plan was that only white male, English upper class, protestants could use the golf course. The others would spoil the view.
The Prince of the Scottish talked to his butler Jooves. The Prince, spoke out his extreme right wing racist views to his butler, suggesting that, ‘Jews are money grabbers. Women are feeble minded, and weak. Catholics are lazy and breed like rabbits.'
A Welsh boy walked past the Prince. The Prince asked him what football team he supported. The boy replied he supported a Welsh team, Llanbrafiau Saints.
The Prince stated, ‘Do you not support a English team?'
The boy replied he could never support the teams of the nation, that killed his father. He claimed, ‘For me to support an English team, would be a like an Israeli supporting a German football team.’

The Prince then screamed, at the Welsh boy, that he must pay, for that insult, to the greatest nation on earth.
The Prince tried to take a shotgun from his belt, as the boy ran off giggling. The Prince then by accident blew his own foot off, with his shotgun. The Prince screamed, at the boy, as the Prince wailed in pain.
The Prince screamed, ‘Don’t just stand there Jooves. Get the ambulance, and don’t tell them what I really did. Tell them I was saving 3 children from a lake. If you don’t I’ll have your family shot.'

With that, the Prince of the Scottish, ordered that all males over the age of sixteen in Swansea must be executed, as punishment for the Welsh boys petulance.

Chapter Six
In the underground base of the rebels where Abraham Glyndwr and Sarola planned their next move in the rebellion. A documentary was interrupted by a urgent newsflash. The TV newscaster explained that the Prince of the Scottish had been shot by a rebel force who attacked him, while he was carrying out a rescue of 3 children from a lake.
The Prince cried for the children, who he claimed to have saved.
Some of the rebels started to feel guilty, when they saw how brave the Prince of the Scottish had been, and said they did not realise their Prince, was so brave.
Then the TV station returned to the documentary on the National Public Broadcasting Service. It was a history show on TV, produced by Prince of the Scottish’s TV company. On the show it was explained that England is a great country of freedom and democracy, and always has been, unlike every other country.
It was explained the English Empire had never killed anyone, and has only brought liberty, freedom, democracy and progress to the world, unlike every other country. People are jealous of England for this. Furthermore the talking heads on the documentary explained it is lazy and communist to think otherwise. It was claimed there were no people killed by the British Empire, in famines in India, Ireland and Persia, and even if there were, it was all the fault of the people who lived there, and communists. The English Empire stopped slavery and furthermore no King or Queen of England has ever made a mistake, because they were chosen by God. They were always right to the rule the land, even when different Kings and Queens fought wars against each other. King Richard the Third did not kill his nephews, that is a communist lie, in fact he sent them on holiday, to the south of France to live in a villa. He was a great peaceful ruler like all English monarchs have been. Henry the 8th did not kill any of his wives, that was just lies, and he felt a heavy heart when his wife was killed, by communists. In fact lazy communist historians have maligned so many great English kings, and queens who fought for progress and never killed anyone by any of their orders, and were chosen by God. Everyone is jealous of England because the nation has never killed anyone, and always done what is right, and the kings and queens have never ever killed anyone to become king or queen. In fact Henry the 7th had nothing to do with the Battle of Bosworth, he won the crown peacefully, and the previous King was happy to give up his crown, after communists tried to kill him. After all kings and queens are chosen by God, and God even supports rebellions that succeed. The idea that God did not choose every king and queen is communist propaganda. Furthermore the famines in India, Wales and Ireland were natural events, that English people were too clever to suffer from.
No English king or queen has ever been wrong or made a mistake, even when they depose a previous king or queen by force.
Abraham was furious by the end of this show and screamed, ‘I saw with my own eyes the English crown, kill my wife and children. I saw them drown my own village for their economy. I have seen the Empire of England massacre innocent people for simply being against the King and Queen.

Chapter Seven.
There was wall to wall coverage of the fake hero, the Prince of the Scottish. He was given an extra title Lord of the Brave and Heroic. A procession of the King's army, and a march of political prisoners chained to a long steel pole proceeded, as they are marched through the streets, and were booed, at by the crowds. The political prisoners were then beheaded in front of a laughing mob. This was televised to millions with the phrase this is what happens to rebels.
Meanwhile the North Wales Wanderers played Scottish side, Caeredin Yr Alban, in the final of the Celtic Cup. A cup played by the best teams from Scotland, Wales, Ireland, the Isle of Man, Cornwall, Brittany and Galicia. The final was played in front of 120,000, at Hampfield stadium in Glasgow, Scotland. The Welsh national anthem was sung, by the whole crowd as a protest against English rule. It was the only place where Welsh could be used. Caeredin Yr Alban won 2-0.
Meanwhile in England, the English FA Cup final was being played between Emperors of London, versus Manpoolton Albion. The match between the two biggest English sides, who between them had won 8 European Cups, and 15 Anglo - Scottish Cups.
But with the entire nation of England, and it’s global football support, watching as King Edward X, presented, the trophy to the captain of Manpoolton Albion, the Greek player Samaras. There was suddenly an interruption to the TV signal.

Chapter Eight
The show was interrupted with a speech by Welsh rebel leader, Abraham Glyndwr. And the scoreboard at the national FA Cup Final started displaying the same speech by Abraham.
Abraham started, ‘There is a reason that we the British are the most hated people in the world. The British under the banner of a blood stained coat, and blood smeared flag, you are primitive lions with a never ending hunger and thirst for blood. Why are our leaders hated all over the world? Due to the mass murders, conquests and slaughters of innocent primitive tribes. The 100 million killed in famines, in Ireland, Persia, Africa, and India, in your self-proclaimed great empire. The tens of millions killed in wars. The millions killed in slavery from Africa and afar. The children who had their tongues removed, for speaking their own language. The women beaten and abused for not being of your race. The innocent people’s slaughtered, and wiped from the face of the earth, in genocides where their only crime. Their only crime, was to live where His Majesty wanted to plant his blood soaked flag, and where the business men, oil companies, and civil servants chose to steal oil, steal land, steal resources and sow their wild oats, in every way they could.'

Abraham continued, ‘The villages drowned, the cities bombed to hell, the cultures, and languages, silenced, in the name of Britain. The people ruled by imperial armies not of their choosing, but of their enslavement. This is the British Empire you admire and worship. This is British Empire you seek to claim as yours. Well your empire is drowning, in the rivers of blood, you have created.’
On the TV screen appeared footage of Abrahalm’s drowned village. Abraham suggested, ‘Here is the footage of my home town. Flooded to provide electricity and water to the people of your cities.’
Then footage of the Prince of the Scottish shooting himself in the foot appeared on screen.
Abraham voiced, ‘The Prince of the Scottish was no hero. He was a coward, who tried to shoot a small child, then injured himself. And asked for you British to see him as a hero.’
The King mouthed to his bodyguards, ‘Is this the most boring, communist you have ever heard?'
The crowd at the national stadium started to boo the King of the British Empire.
The cup final winning captain, threw his medal at the King, saying, ‘I will not take this medal from a baddie.’
The King’s security quickly ushered the King away from the stadium.
Meanwhile the crowd started to shout out, ‘Down with the British Empire. Down with the Empire.’
The revolt started. A general strike was declared asking for the immediate resignation of the Prime Minister, and the abdication of the King, and resignation of the Prince of the Scottish.

Chapter Nine.
Abraham felt great that the peaceful rebellion, had started. He was talking to a English working class person Alan Press, who said of his middle class colleagues in the university, ‘They never invited me to their home, so I knew the upper and middle class did not like me.’
Suddenly Abraham realised he had rarely been invited to people’s homes in Wales. The only people who liked him were English people living in Wales, and a few random Welsh people. Then he remembered the English children bullied at school in Wales, and Scotland. And he realised that most English people are good, and in fact he gets on better with the English than anyone.
The bullying of English people, and racism towards the English was just as evil as any other racism or nationalistic bullying.
And he decided Scottish people were OK too.
Abraham started reading a book, on the link between psychology and his favourite situation comedy from the USA.
Abraham loved American comedies. Especially comedy from Jewish and African Americans, although other comedians were good too. He was a fan of Robin Williams, Frasier, Michael Moore, Seinfeld, and Laurel and Hardy. And loved to relax by watching these comedies, and comedians.
He loved to watch great American comedy from left wing comedian Sara Emily Dickinson. Who was named after the poet Emily Dickinson. She was a critic of the British Empire. She was often asked, ‘What did the British Empire ever do to you?’ She would reply, ‘Well I haven’t been killed by a serial killer, but it doesn’t mean I should support them. You should empathise with the victims.’

Chapter Ten
But the USA, was supporting the Empire of England, after the connection between the two powers after World War Two when Scotland, England, Wales and Northern Ireland, and the Empire colonies, defeated the NAZIs in World War Two.
News from the American President Crump, was that the USA would continue to support their closest ally the British Empire.
But unbeknownst to the imperialists, an evil terror group was planning a devastating attack on the West’s most powerful nation.
High in the sky above the continent of North America an electromagnetic pulse was detonated over the USA, by a hidden power.
This powerful weapon, left the entire communications, power and computing resources in the USA destroyed. The English had lost their closest ally.
The Prime Minister was in tears, on the main UK channels, as he realised he had lost his main support.
In the underground base in London, the rebels knew their time was now. The support of the USA in holding up the Empire was gone.
The UK had lost it’s main ally. The economy collapsed within weeks, the empire was in free fall.

Chapter Eleven
With news of stock exchange collapses, food shortages, the rebel forces of thousands flooded the streets and invaded the House of Commons. A crowd of 300,000 gathered outside the King’s official residence Huckingham Palace, with the support of the English working class, all over England. The King came out to make a speech expecting, they were in support of him, but to his horror he was booed at, by the crowds.
The Prince of the Scottish fled in disguise, in one of his wife’s dresses through the streets of the crowded city. But he was soon apprehended, when someone recognised his gait.
The King, and the Prince of the Scottish were gathered together then given immediate justice. Being sent to prison, as punishment, for their murders and cruel abuses of the people.
The Queen was banned from the old nations of the Empire.
While the PM, was captured and placed in the House of Commons Cell with the cabinet.
There were few military battles.
One group of soldiers tried to mount a military coup, in Tottenham, to impose a new dictatorship over the empire. Fortunately better people in the army fought against this, and arrested the conspirators for this crime of attempted tyranny.
One rogue royalist soldier piloted a fighter jet from an airbase in Southern Yorkshire, to bomb Bradford for an hour long bombing period. Where he fired at cars, houses, schools, supermarkets, and churches. Eventually he was shot down with an anti-aircraft missile.
One band of royalist rebels took over a nuclear power plant, and threatened to detonate it, before the SAS went in and took out the royalists.
A royalist terrorist network flew drones towards civilian airplanes landing at some airports, but the plots were stopped with anti-aircraft guns.
A peaceful gathering at a catholic pub in Birmingham, was shot at by royalists with a bazooka. Many innocent Catholics were killed, and a small riot was started, but was soon quelled with police.
The rebel leader Sarola, was made the newly titled President of England, and soon won an election as leader of the English Socialist Freedom Party.
Scotland, Cornwall, Northern Ireland, Rutland, Yorkshire and Wales declared independence, and soon held democratic elections.
The Caledonian Christian Socialist Party won the election with a landslide. Meanwhile Abraham made a speech to his Welsh people, on the streets of Cardiff, ‘We must not blame English people for the acts of the rulers. That whether someone is English, upper class, middle class, or working class, we must not persecute the English for actions of some of the elites.’
Abraham won the election in Wales, with the Welsh Democratic Capitalist Party, forming a coalition government with the Welsh Cymru Party.
Meanwhile football continued, with a Anglo Scottish Cup Final between England’s Manpoolton Albion, and Scotland’s biggest side the Scottish Monks. The Scottish Monks had 2 European Cups to their name.
The Heads of State of England, Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland, were present to present the trophy to the winning captain.
The Welsh kept their red dragon flag. The English took the Cross of St George, as their flag. The Northern Irish kept their flag, the red hand of Ulster. Which is a red hand over a Cross of St George. While Scotland changed their flag, to the flag of England, except with the red finger salute. Which was two fingers turned round, to stick to fingers up to the English flag of St George. In Great Britain, a two finger salute is a rude gesture meaning, ‘Up yours.’ Some English people found this deeply offensive, some found it laugh out loud funny. Some could not care less, and were more interested in the new German flag which was a picture of the old Union Jack, with the letters RIP on it.
How do you get two whales in a car?
Go across the Severn Bridge.

And they all lived happily ever after.

Defence of my story
I realise some people will say it is distasteful to make up crimes against the Welsh. But the purpose of this is to make people empathise across the UK with what the British Empire did to other nations, that are no longer part of, or colonies of the UK.
It is in my view, wrong that we ignore the crimes of the British Empire. And yet we talk as if our nation has never done anything wrong. But then we criticise other nations, when we have committed holocausts, of over 100 million deaths.
I still feel the NAZIs were the most evil government in history.
Also I realise England is not another word for the UK. England is not another term for the island of Great Britain. England is just part of the Great Britain, and the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Just like Scotland, and Wales.
Scotland, Wales and England have their own national football sides.