Bittersweet

The pain I feel in my chest
And the smile that I can't seem to chase from creeping onto my lips
Can be described in only one word
A word that I have never lied
Because it always seemed far too easy
Far too small and inadequate when compared to the situation it was used in
But alas I have no better word to use
As bittersweet is the only one that comes to mind
I have racked my brain for the answer
A word to better describe the way I feel
But perhaps the problem does not lie with the word bittersweet
But rather the blatant misuse of it
and years of people wasting it on petty goodbyes
that would sleep themselves away
through forgotten souls
And replacement of friends and memories.
But the pain that screams from within as your smile lights up the room
And the joy of knowing that this could never truly be the end of anything
Are summed up in that one, misused, and oversung word.
We have grown so strong together
You have helped and me in ways that I could never hope to explain
And done things for me that, although I have tried, I could never do for you
I pray that you have come to know me
In such a way
That although my limited words can not substantially portray to you,
the hell this goodbye has put me through
You have seen it, felt it, and will embrace it
In a way that helps you to grow
And inspires me to follow you
so that I
May become more like the person I dream to be for you.