This is My happy Face

Today I stand in the midst of everyone
And in nothingness I've knelt
Searching -- standing still
Trying to find the love you felt

As a flame it consumed me
And left me cold and in the dark
A shadow of a man
Full of words with no remark

A wisp that scatters on the tempest
Like the blindness after a light
You burned brightest of all
And now there's nothing right

Disoriented and lost
I've put on my happy face
But a dead man I am
Standing in a dead place

I'm confident in wavering
That I'll never again see the light of day
Help me please
I'm not ok