Crystal Stars

1.
One year, nine months, four weeks, and three days ago my mom was killed in a car accident, the worst accident they have seen in years they say. It was all so sudden. I remember sitting in the passenger side, right next to where my mom had died. We were on our way to my softball game. There was terrible traffic and we were about to turn into a "shortcut" that would take us out of the traffic. As we started to turn something hit us in the back of the car, destroying the back seat. The rear of the car was squished to the edge of the back of my seat. My mom and I were both in shock as we heard the cracking of the paint, the squealing of the metal bending sent chills down our backs.

"Mom?" I called.

"I'm fine honey, are you okay?" she asked.

I nodded my head, we were both fine, which was a huge relief. I don't know what I would have done if I looked over to see my mom dead. But it was a little too early to be celebrating our survival. When we looked up a truck was speeding toward us and there was no sign of it slowing down.

"GET DOWN!" my mom yelled, forcefully shoving me to the ground.

Unfortunately while my mom saved my life she didn't have enough time to save her own. The last thing I remember before I blacked out was my moms mangled body squashed between the seat and steering wheel. Her head was twisted in an unnatural way.

"Mom!" I screeched.

Tears where coming to her eyes, which meant she was still alive, which meant she was going to die suffering. She moved her lips but little sound came out.

"It's ok, momma is going to a better place." she said weakly, "I love you."

I remember hearing her take her last breath. It was peaceful. The tears were stuck to her eyes. And that was the last thing I remember before waking up on the sidewalk where the paramedic was strapping me into a stretcher. I had something around my neck and what felt like over a thousand bandages were wrapped around my body.

"She's dead," I whispered.

The paramedic looked at me with a sympathetic look, "Who's dead?"

"My mom," I whispered quietly.

I blacked out again and didn't wake up until weeks later where I was greeted in the hospital by my family. My dad was in tears, my older sister was gripping my hand, also crying.

"She's dead," I said.
2.
I sat in the front seat of the car. It has been so long since I have been in a car that I feel like I am going to throw up.

"It's ok Shelby," My dad said calmly.

I looked out the window and all I could see was my moms deformed body, how her head was pinned in an unnatural position, how her body was crinkled and stuck between the seat and steering wheel. I looked back up to focus on the road.

All I could see was the truck.

"DAD! STOP!" I shouted.

He slammed on his brakes. His breathing grew heavy and he looked up at me worried.

"What?" he asked.

I focused on the road, the truck that I just saw wasn't there. I put my arm against the handle of the door, the hot black leather burned my skin. But it felt good.

"Shelby are you ok?" my dad asked.

"Yea. I'm fine, why?" I said.

"Because you just screamed for me to stop," he said.

"I thought I saw a car in front of us, I am fine, really," I said.

He nodded and continued to drive. We are driving to my survivor support group, and this is the first meeting I am attending. I have been to emotionally destroyed to get back in a car.

When we pulled up to the support group there was a small, white building and an empty parking lot. My dad parked in one of the spaced and jumped out of the car. I went to open the door but when I looked at my hand there was thick blood covering me.

Glass was shattered on the floor and my skin was burning, it felt like someone had stabbed me a hundred times in my arm and back. Blood was covering the floor and I couldn't feel my left arm.

"You coming?" my dad said as he opened the door.

I snapped out of my vision and responded with, "Um. Yea. I'm coming."

I approached the building which wreaked of mold. I peered through the glass door and saw a group of people about my age sitting in a circle.

"Are you going to go inside?" my dad asked.

"Yes, I am going to go inside, I just wanted to make sure it was the right place." I said.

I opened the door and walked towards the group. There was only one chair open, it was by this extremely skinny, blonde girl. Her name tag read "Lindy" and she was all happy and smiling.

"You must be Shelby!" she said, perky and all.

"Yea," I said quietly.

I looked at the rest of the group. There was four girls and six guys sitting in the circle. Everyone, one by one, stood up and told us their story and how they have worked to improve their life. It felt like an AA meeting for people who almost died.

"Colton," Lindy called.

A slim, brunette stood up and introduced himself. He shared his experience in three simple words.

"I almost died," and then he sat back down.

I couldn't help but smile to myself, it was honestly clever.,

"Ok, thank you for sharing Colt. Shelby, your turn to share." Lindy announced.

I stood up and I could feel my hands shaking.

"Car accident. I'm the girl from the reportedly worst accident in years, today was the first day I have gotten into a car. I freaked out." I said as fast as my lips could move.

I sat back down and everyone was staring at me. Lindy gave me a little sympathetic look and moved onto the next person on the clipboard. For the rest of the time I stared at my fingers.

Blood. All I could see was blood, and glass. Glass everywhere, in my hand, back, stomach. All over the floor and on the street. My breathing grew heavy and I gripped the arm of the chair.

"Shelby?" Lindy asked.
My dad ended up picking me up earlier than he expected. I sat in my room staring at the walls for a good solid hour before my sister came in and ruined my train of thought.

"Shelby?" she asked.

"Yea?" I responded.

She walked in and sat on the edge of my bed. She grabbed both of my hands and looked into my eyes, "I know what happened to you and mom was tragic, and when dad told me you had a panic attack at group I came over as fast as I could."

She is like 19 now and she moved out just a few months after my mothers death. She said it was too hard to live in a place with nothing but reminders of what was.

"I love you more than you will ever know. And if you ever need me, just give me a call, okay?" she said.

"Are we done?" I said.

She sighed and stood up, "I guess."

She walked out of the room and quietly closed the door. I snuggled in my blankets and tried to listen quietly to my sister and dad. They were talking about something.

"When are you going to tell her?" my sister whispered quietly.

"Soon," my dad responded.

"You don't have much time left," I could hear the tears filling her eyes, "she needs to know now."

"She has been through so much, and I can't put anything else onto the stress and anxiety she already has." he said.

"Well I need her to move in by next week, that way she will already be settled when I sign the papers," she said.

At this point they didn't bother to whisper, my dad was getting angry and my sister was getting over whelmed.

"Kyra! I will tell her when the time is right!" he shouted.

"When is that dad? She will never get over mom's death, she will never get over that accident. It happened! Mom died! She went through a traumatic event at the age of 12! It will never go away!" my sister countered.

I quietly walked in the room and sat on the floor. I used to do this when my mom and dad were arguing about normal every day problems, it was always a test to see if they were actually paying attention to me. But the results are always the same, they continue fighting until one of the turns to leave and see's me sitting there.

"If it's so easy why don't you tell her? You are her sister!" he shouted.

"She needs to hear it from you, dad. You're dying and these are the last moments you get to spend with your daughter. It would be better if she heard it from you, that way in the future she couldn't beat herself up for not being with you more, because she didn't know." my sister said calmly.

My dad threw his hands up in the air in surrender meaning Kyra had won the fight. He turned to go to my room to tell me, but the bad thing was, I already knew. He stopped in mid step and stared at me sitting on the floor.

The tears grew in my eyes and I wanted to get up and run into my room but I my body wouldn't move, my lips were trembling and my hands were shaking. I felt coldness run throughout my body and a chill down my spine. I could hear the cracking of my heart, it was breaking into a million pieces inside.

"Shelby, honey," my dad said calmly.

"You're dying?" I whispered.

He nodded his head and pulled me into a hug and we both started crying. My sister decided to join us.

And for a moment I felt that we were a family again. It was just the three of us sitting thereon the floor; in tears, all of us hugging one another.
3.
The next morning I woke up to see all of my things gone.

"Dad?" I called.

I heard light foot steps coming towards my room, my door slowly opened; it was just my sister, Kyra. She walked in and sat at the edge of the bed.

"I have all your things back at my place," she said calmly.

"I don't want to live with you," I said coldly.

"I have your room set up, but I left the walls untouched because I knew you would like to paint them yourself," she said, "Now come one, we have to go."

I got up slowly and crept into the main area, which was just outside my room. Everything was in it's place, all the pictures were at the right angle, the coasters were left untouched, and the TV hasn't even moved a millimeter.

"I am going to miss this place," I whispered.

Kyra nodded in understanding. She picked up one of the pictures of our mom off the coffee table. I almost fainted; I hated it when someone would move something out of its place.

"Kyra!" I screeched.

I ripped the picture out of her hands and attempted to replace it perfectly. As I placed it down I stared at the picture. She had long, beautiful blonde hair., and her eyes were as blue as the sky. She was so beautiful.

I could feel the tears running down my cheeks and hitting my shoe. Kyra put her hand on my shoulder, but instead of making me feel better like she intended to do, her cold hand sent chills down my spine.

I could feel moms cold, dead hand laying on my shoulder as the fire rescue people tried to get us out. Her fingers were a light blue, and they were colder than ice. Her ring had fallen off her finger and into my lap. Blood spilling out of her mouth, onto the floor.

"Shelby, it's ok to remember," my sister said, talking about the picture of my mom.

"That's not how I remember her," I said coldly.

Kyra looked at me with curiosity shining in her eyes, "Than how do you remember her?" she asked.

I sat down on the white recliner next to the couch.

"I remember her deformed. Her hands were cold and blue, blood spilling out of her mouth, her body pinned between the seat and steering wheel, the glass piercing her body," I responded.

Kyra's eyes threw out the curiosity and filled up with tears. I could tell by her facial expression she had mixed feelings about what I had just said, and I know for a fact that sadness is most defiantly not one of them.

She was feeling angry, surprised, and disappointed. But none of those feelings were towards me of coarse, she envied the people who killed our mom. She was mad that they got to live, she was surprised that I even remembered any of that. She was disappointed that she couldn't have done anything about the accident.

"Isn't it a little to late to have those feelings?" I said.
Kyra dismissed my question and walked towards the door. As she opened it she said, "Come on, before we are late to dinner."

"Dinner with who? I thought it was just you and me," I said.

She looked at the ground and shuffled her feet, her hands were twitching and she was biting her lip; she's hiding something.

"Just tell me," I said.

"My boyfriend, Brent," she said.

I nodded slowly and gave her cold eyes. As I walked out the door I managed to shove her with my shoulder in anger.

She ran after me as I walked down the drive way. She grabbed my shoulder and forcefully turned me to face her.

"Shelby, he isn't living with us, he is just coming over for dinner," she said calmly.

I didn't know what was best to say or do so I decided to give her the silent treatment until further notice. I opened the car door and sat on the passengers side.

As Kyra climbed in she pleaded with me to talk, "What do you want me to say?" she asked.

"Nothing. I don't want you to say anything," I responded coldly.

She started the car and backed out the drive way, she wasn't paying attention and hit the mailbox behind us, crushing the stand of it to pieces.

"Kyra! What is wrong with you!" I screeched.

"Sorry, I didn't realize the mailbox was that close," she said.

She drove off faster than she normally does, passing three stop signs with out even a second thought of what she was doing.

"Kyra! People get killed when drivers drive recklessly!" I scolded.


"We can't be late!" she said.

This whole, we can't be late thing has gotten to her head, I am start to think this Bret guy isn't a very nice person.

She drove past a red light.

SCREECH!
4.
SCREECH! We swerved in a circle and hit a light pole. The pole fell over crushing the top of the car. The roof bent in and I had to squish under the glove box if I wanted to survive the pole falling over.

"Shelby?!" my sister screamed.

"I'm okay," I called out.

It hasn't even been two minutes when, presumably, a car hit us on the drivers side, the side dented in and where Kyra was sitting was now fully on my side.

"KYRA!" I screeched.

No answer. I tried to look over when her hand fell in my lap, no arm connected just a cold hand. I screamed bloody murder. I cried, I couldn't hear anything, nothing more than a huge ringing noise in the back of my head.

I could feel the blood, spilling out of my skin as if my back was the base of a waterfall. Glass pierced my entire body, and metal was poking at my side. I could smell the hot metal burning.

My breathing started to slow as well as my heartbeat. MY eye lids were growing heavy and I started to feel drowsy. I could feel my heart giving out, my lungs about to collapse. As I started to close my eyes a bright light shone down on me.
The light felt good. As I started to walk towards it I felt a tap on the shoulder and a little noise from behind me. I turned around and to my surprise, it was my mom.

"Hey sweetie," she whispered sweetly.

"Mom," I said, excitedly.

She smiled one of her beautiful smiles that I remember and love. Her skin is glowing and clear, her hair was perfect. She looked happier than she ever was before.

She grabbed my hand and we walked to the light together. It felt good and healing, all of the pain was gone, and all of the blood was washed away. My sister ended up meeting us at one of the points closer to the light. She looked happy and healthy also.

"Kyra!" I said.

"Hey kiddo. Hey mom!" she called out.

She walked toward us and all three of us held hands walking towards the light. It felt good on my skin. All of my pain and misery was gone.

The closer we got to the light the better I felt. I was so close until something happened.

I thought I was free. I knew I was dying but it didn't faze me. It felt good, and I knew I wasn't completely gone until we had reached the end. So when we did reach the near end my mom and sister stopped me in mid-stride.

"Hey kiddo, you still have a chance," Kyra said.

My mom placed her hand on my cheek and looked me in the eyes as she said, "You have a choice, do you want to leave or stay?"

"I want to leave, with the two of you," I said, the tears starting to fill in my eyes.

Kyra looked at her mom with a worried look. They shared glances for a moment until Kyra went onto her knees to face me.

"You can't come," she said.

The tears started coming down slowly and then started to flow down my cheeks, making a puddle on my shoe.

"I want to come. If I stay then I will have no one!" I cried.

My mom gave me a hug and looked me in the eyes, "Goodbye Shelby, I will see you again," she said softly.

"Bye kiddo," my sister whispered.

They held hands and walked off into the light. Everything went black
Darkness. Everywhere.

I could hear slight talking and maybe someone crying, and they were saying my name between sobs. It sounded a lot like my dad.

I ran in random circles not knowing where I am. Why couldn't I go with my mom. I sat down on the pitch black ground, not knowing what I was going to sit on. As I sat down there was a chair that just appeared under my butt.

A big screen, like one you would see at a movie theatre, turned on and started rolling images of my life. A lot of stuff I forgot even happened. My dad and I dancing in the rain in the Wal-Mart parking lot. I remember how happy we all were that day.

Another one flickered on, it was my very first softball game ever. My mom, dad, and sister were all holding up signs promoting my team and my number, which at the time was seven.

Another one flickered up. It was me at group. I was sitting there, jumpy at every word. Colton was staring at me. But he wasn't staring at me like I was a weirdo. He was staring at me like he liked me or something. That day I just wore shorts and a t-shirt with my hair barely brushed.

Another one flickered on. It was at a hospital, but it was a different room than from the last hospital. There was social workers in the room, my dad was sitting in a wheel chair holding my hand, and to my surprise Colton was there too.

"Is this why I have to live!" I screamed. "because of some boy?"

I couldn't grasp the thought in my head. It seemed so stupid. The screen started showing more images. IT was me years from now. And I think Colton was the guy I just kissed.

It showed me with a husband, two sons and one daughter. They were beautiful children, but they looked so skinny. I wonder if we feed them.

Tears were brought to my eyes and I nodded my head as I said, "You had a future planned for me with this boy, so I have to stay."

A big metal thing lifted up and into my lap. There was only was only one button. It read Go Back. I hesitated, do I really want to go back?

Yes. I do. I lifted my finger and pushed the button as quickly as I could, so I didn't have time to change my mind.

There was three flashes of light and then all of sudden my eyes flickered open.