Rockstar Rooster's Revolutionary Revolt

"What's going on, what's going on?" Farmer Brown was frantic.

"The animals are revolting!" his daughter, Jenny, replied.

"Why?"

"Well, the indomitable Rockstar Rooster has led them to believe in the free chicken ideal."

"But all our chickens are free!" Farmer Brown yelped, pulling at his hair.

The animals were picketing past the window.

"It's your last chance," their banners proclaimed. "We are not going to be hurt by you any more. We are not propane."

"Pro-pain?" Farmer Brown groaned. "They're not pro-pain? But I never cause them any pain. I keep chickens only for their eggs."

"I know, Dad," Jenny sympathised, as a duck carrying a sign saying: "Animals take a nightstand" waddled past the window.

"I am kind to all my animals," Farmer Brown groaned. "I feed them well,
I clean out their sleeping quarters, I give them loads of room to move about in ... and I never, ever hurt them. We're vegetarians. Well, egg-itarians. They live out their natural lives on the farm."

"I know, Dad." Jenny looked thoughtful. "Listen, Dad, let's tell them you agree."

"Agree?"

"Yes. Let's tell them they're now free, wild creatures."

Farmer Brown caught the glint in his daughter's eye. He understood where this was leading.

"Okay," he said, grinning.

So, the two of them went outside. They faced the animals, who fell silent.

"Animals!" Farmer Brown said. "We have heard your plea. We have read your banners. We're not propane, either. We think that's all a load of gas. So -- from now on, you're free!"

There was a wild cheering and squacking and yelping and neighing and mooing and hurrumphing and quacking. The animals threw the signs down and started to waddle, gallop, run, fly and swim around.

Farmer Brown and Jenny watched them for a few minutes, then went inside again to wash up the breakfast things and start on cooking lunch.

After a while, the farm grew quieter.

And quieter.

When the duo sat down to eat their lunch, there wasn't a whisper to be heard outside.

"Shall we just peep ..." Farmer Brown began.

"No!" Jenny whispered back. "That'll spoil everything. Let's have a nap."

So Jenny went up to her room and Farmer Brown curled up on the sofa. The cat, Maya, was on a cushion in the living room.

They awoke an hour later. The cat gave a yawn and stretched. Farmer Brown got off the sofa, walked up to her, and tickled her under the chin. Jenny came downstairs.

"Can you hear something?" she whispered.

All three of them listened.

There was a scuffling. And a shuffling. And a snuffing. And a sniffing.

Maya gave a small mew. "Shhh!" Jenny said. She gave Maya some milk, and then got out her reading. Farmer Brown was learning to knit. He got out his wool and knitting needles.

There was nothing to be heard except Maya, lapping the milk.

And a bit of a shifting. And a groaning. And a slight squeaking.

And finally ...

a loud ...

quacking and neighing and yowling and cackling and screeching.

"Farmer Brown, Farmer Brown!" the animals yelled.

"Be calm and dignified!" Jenny hissed.

So, Farmer Brown, Jenny and Maya opened the front door in a calm, dignified manner. They stood, in a calm, dignified way, facing the animals.

"Farmer Brown, Farmer Brown," Rockstar Rooster crowed. "We're hungry. We've had no breakfast, we've had no lunch."

"But you're free, wild animals, now," Farmer Brown said. "You don't have to wait for me to give you lunch, you can get it yourself."

"Please, Farmer Brown! Please!"

"Well ..."

"We'll do anything!" the animals cried.

"Okay, then, you have to carry signs that I make."

And that's why Rockstar Rooster could be seen marching round the farm, carrying a sign saying. "PROPANE IS JUST GAS".