Reflections

Reflections
One of the most interesting aspects of human life is its unpredictability. Sometimes, the frequency of these random events is so high that I wonder whether meticulous planning of your life is a futile exercise. My first solo trip was borne out of one of these events. With no planning I had landed in a faraway beautiful land, decorated with lush green forests, crystalline water bodies and snow clad mountains.

After finishing the day's work, I retired to my hotel room. The balcony of my room was overseeing a small mellifluous stream. It was evening and the sun was about to set amidst the golden mountains. There was not a soul in sight. A cool breeze was humming through the air, adding melody to the scenic, melancholy ambiance. Soon the clouds started to gather and looked rather ominous. As I rested in my armchair and poured myself a glass of whiskey, I got soaked into the wonderful aura of the surroundings. The clouds were now welcoming me with an embrace.

I had always dreaded travel and hated being away from the family. I am deeply attached to them and always felt incomplete when they are not around me. However, being involved in the daily hustle of life, taking care of the mundane details of the family never gave me a chance to have a meaningful conversation with self. Now that I was away, I relished this moment of rare soliloquy.

As the moon rose, I helped myself with a second drink. I felt extremely calm. Immersed in my thoughts, I was able to think clearly. I saw the blood in my veins shine. In this brightness, I saw her unmasked, unveiled. As I browsed through the pages of my life, I paused on this small,sad and almost forgotten chapter. Why was I sad at the very first thought of her?

As I started taking stock of sadness in my life, I recollected her episodes. What an irony? Can the love of your life cause you the most unbearable pain the world?

I noticed that I never got rid of this pain from my heart, but was happy that there was no bitterness.

As my conversation with self blossomed, I got the answers that I was seeking, coming in from all directions in this golden silence.

Why do we run away from sadness? Is it not as important as happiness in our lives? How can we enjoy our happy moments if we haven't felt sad in our lives?

I realized that we have to accept sadness with open arms. Being unhappy is not necessarily bad, it has its own beauty. Grief can make a person wiser, cautious. We should be receptive to the lessons life has to offer in these times. My thoughts now reached their conclusion, reached their destination that made me feel secure and enlightened.

It was now chilly and I stepped back in the room. I looked into the mirror and thanked my reflection for this insightful conversation. I counted my blessings and they were a lot more than I would have imagined.

I retired to my bed, happy and grateful.