If Butch Calls

Senior year of high school
I was having some teenage issues
And started acting out
I wanted everyone to see my pain, feel my pain, I wanted everyone to hear me out
The school was concerned and attributed my acting out to my sexuality and demanded I seek help
They recommended I go to an LGBTQ youth center and talk to someone but I just brushed it off and thought this is crazy
So one day not expecting it I get a phone call from this lady
I guess she was from the gay and lesbian place ‘cause that’s what she said
She was a lesbian and said that she could help me get out of purgatory
That sounded nice and all but I was already there for three and a half years and gotten kind of used to the territory
I guess she was a butch
She sounded like a butch
She wanted me to come up there to talk
And I thought all man what the fuck
I didn’t want to go up there, I wasn’t prepared
I didn’t know what to say, what to expect, I was scared
I was hoping I didn’t have to talk to her again
So I said if butch calls
Tell her I’m not here

Back on that day when she called
She asked a lot of questions
Questions I couldn’t answer
Being this young and confused wasn’t easy
Butch knows, she was there
I wasn’t ready to tell anyone what I was feeling inside, I didn’t think she would really care
Even though she sounded genuine I didn’t want to give her that chance to help me, I was full of abandonment issues and fear

So I said
If butch calls
Tell her I’m not here

(Then she’ll keep calling and calling and calling)

I don’t care, just tell her I’m not here

(Then she’ll keep calling and calling and calling)

If butch calls
Tell her I’m not here

(Then she’ll keep calling and calling and calling)

Butch only called back once
But no one was home
She never called back
But if she does
If butch calls
Tell her I’m not here