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Rated: E · Poetry · Nature · #2153888
This is a rewrite of a previous poem - does it read like a poem? Is the image clear?
Awakening

A slither of silvery light swathes the
surface of a darkened grey lake.
A mirror to the world above,
a craggy stack submerged in the black.
From out of the blue comes a waking wind.
Scores of crisp like tears spiral downwards
before resting atop their shadowy likeness.
For a moment, a dismal symmetry exists.
Then a fat carp rises. Gulps. Sinks…
Swallowing the tears in the wake of its dive.
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