Serotonin

$53.43 worth of serotonin, and red still seems more fitting. Compressed chemicals and powdered prosperity. My efforts to egress from this boundless dysphoria seem to fall short.

What is life?

As these words bounce off my tongue, I chase them with a smile. My heart files them in the back of my mind to later rethink what it means to be alive.

The sky has gone gray.

Gray.

Like the "pills" that held me together on those nights the windows seemed to open. On those same nights, doors were pried open to release memories that were drowned in tears that fell; taking my sanity with them. A transparent river of sorrow, surrounded by a red sand of relief and regret. Covered in satin and adhesive bandages. Sounding like velvet and broken promises.

This is heaven.

But by God's greatest defiance, one shall not bow at his feet.

Lucifer welcomes me with open arms as his infamous scythe appears in my clutch. The sleight of hand releases my soul. His flames pierce my porcelain skin. My body becomes one with the blaze of fire and eternal grief.

Selfishness?

Sin?

Serotonin.

~ S