The past and the future

Chapter I "The past and the future"



A dim light from behind Baez brakes the total darkness in his room. The light is directed towards a brown old looking book, that he is holding in his hands while he is lying on his bed. With one hand he reaches to his right to grab the plain white cup of black caff, while not letting his gaze of the book, and spills a little bit of caff on the floor . As he takes a sip he realizes that now would be a good time to take a brake so he can holo Gimmy. Quickly he puts the cup back spilling a little bit more on the floor, and then closes the book and starts pushing the buttons of the holo to see if Gimmy would answer.





As he waits, he takes a deep breath, and before he got to let the air out the blue holo figure of Gimmy appeared in front of him. His scars making lines of dark shadows matching his black hair, and black eyes with red veins and brown bags of skin under them. A soft, but complex music playing with smoke all around him like a fog in the deepest jungle of Kasyyyk.







With a rusty voice sounding like it was soaked in a vat of bourbon, left hanging in the smokehouse for a few months .”Hey there kid,i thought you'd never call”, and then he takes a hit off his black wooden pipe .

“How is the Jedi life treating you?“ .Then sits back while waiting for an answer with his image almost getting lost in the smoke.

Baez with narrow eyes, like trying to look at something far away, and confused from the smoky images of Gimmy fading in and out of the picture. “My call is more about information then checking on you”, makes a pause, “Also to find out how your book is coming along, did you finish it yet? ” Smiles playfully.





Gimmy while letting the smoke out of his mouth,“Ah information,what can I know that the Jedi don't kid?”, his face comes out of the smoke, “Don't try to fool me kid”, points with two fingers at Baez “I know you too well “ sits back down fading into the smoke.





Baez moves uncomfortable in his sit.





Gimmy's rusty voice comes through, “Shes fine kid,still saying little and drinking allot. You know how she is ,nothing can brake through that numb wall of hers. Well, that's why we all follow her, so we can all stay behind our walls. Shit like us should stay away from the rest of the shit”.



Baez with a look of kindness,”You always say that, and we both know its not true ...”.



Gimmy interrupts Baez, “Kid, instead of wasting both of our time by telling you about our daily routine, and do the boring catching up“. Comes forwards “let my tell you something you should know by now”.



Baez with a smile, “Come on Gim you had a few drinks a...”



Gimmy ignores Baez and continues,“You know that me and your mother go way back right?”



Baez with a look like he is about to hear something that he has heard a million times “Yes?”



Gimmy clears throat, “Well kid,your mother and father and I, used to be great friends back home and spend allot of time together.” Extends one hand,pointing at Baez, “Like the characters in “The Boy,The Beast And The Butterfly” the book I gave you at some point .When we were about 19 or 20, the three of us, plus a friend of mine, a younger boy, used to have a habit to take our drinks , and head to the roof of your grandfathers factory some late nights.”



Gim takes a sip of his drink, in a calm way like his about to say the sweetest story .“One night we were so drank, that we played a dare game that involved crossing from roof to roof, by walking on a thin old pipe with a 30 meters fall. So we all passed except my friend who was afraid .You see my friend was” .Takes a moment, taps fingers on table .“Always a little bit scared playing this games, even if he was shitfaced drank. Your mother found entertaining how your father explored that weakness, and that made your father pick on my friend even more. You know how it goes, when someone tries to impress a girl . So, when my friend started passing through, after he got his fair share if harassment ,your father started jumping on the old pipe like a maniac, causing the pipe start to tremble, and my friend lost his balance and fall.”



Gim takes some kind of fruit, and squeezes out a few drops in his drink. “I still remember the sound his body made hitting the ground”, takes a sip, then slams his hand to the table “Thump!” puts the drink back down.” And I remember his body lying there, down on the ground like a shadow, around his head a dark liquid slowly spreading." Takes slowly another sip, then returns the drink to his table and continues .



“We stood there looking at him speechless,we didn't do anything. Hell we did not even check if the poor boy was still alive,we run straight to your grandfather to cover our shit” Lets a breath out in a noisy way .”We never talk about that,even now after all those years we haven't said a word about it“.



Looks down at his drink and shakes it a little bit.”Then everything came fast,your grandfather before dawn assigned two bodyguards to take the body, bury it and clean the blood before the workers start coming. Although my friends family suspected us ,we lied right in front of the authority's and the boy's family, and said we knew nothing. But after two weeks the body was found,you see the bodyguards came straight from the cantina to bury the boy, and they were drunk. So, they tossed the body somewhere, and just threw a little bit of dirt on him. We barely fled the planet before the authority's would catch us,with the ship your Grandfather gave us,” squeezes a couple more drops from the yellow fruit in his drink again, and stirs it with his index finger, then sucks the finger “ The party was over,we were left but nothing but a ship ,as Adle Per said in one of his poems :



*I cried for madder music and for stronger wine,

But when the feast is finished and the lamps expire,

Then falls thy shadow, Cynara! the night is thine.

And I am desolate and sick of an old passion .



Gimmy falls back into the shadowy fog of smoke .”Kid,your party is ahead of you”.



And the room was suddenly deprived of the blue holo image of Gim. Beaz stood there, in the dark room thinking how his past was just an illusion of happiness .As time was passing by, he decided to clear his mind through meditation. He started to do his usual ritual to find his focus,he closed his eyes and took a deep breath,and let the air out slowly. Then he focused on the energy floating within him like a calm wave. He focused on every thought and emotion he had about his past examining them one by one,and letting then fade away one by one. Until he was left with nothing but the energy within him glowing like a bright sun,guiding him,making him calm and determinant about his future and his belonging to the order. He is to become a Jedi .



The first red light of the dawn was sneaking in through his window, as he was finishing his meditation. He opened his eyes with a clear mind, and with the past irrelevant with everything he is now,he stood up and walked out to return to his training, Outside the temple he sew his fellow Padawan Den,and thought to him self how much he has help him to adjust to the Jedi life,and how is to become a great Jedi Knight soon. Then before reaching Den he hears his Comm ring,”Padawan Baez,Master Aldebaran here. Come to the landing pad and take worm clothes,we are going to Illum.”.



*Poem by Ernest Dowson (1867-1900)

*Phrase "Soaked in a vat of bourbon, left hanging in the smokehouse for a few months" by music critic Daniel Durchholz.