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Rated: E · Short Story · Comedy · #2157740
What will they do next?
The Great (Almost) Get Away


I'm here to tell you a story about two very impressionable pets and their very first adventure. One of many to come, I'm sure. It was mid-summer in Mississippi, and the weather was blistering hot, with the heat index in the triple digits. If you have ever been to the South, you most definitely know what I am talking about when it comes to humidity. "Humidity and sweat go along ways," daddy would say.

Let me introduce you to Marlin and Gunner. Marlin is seven years old a Boxer/Lab mix, he is somewhat shy and timid, due to the previous owner and Gunner is a little over a year old and is a full-blooded Pit Bull, with a personality that just won't quit. They are two adorable and lovable dogs.

I had returned to our hometown and moved into my son Jeremy's home until I could find an apartment or house of my own. The boys have been having difficulties outside with the heat and humidity for a few days. And if you know Mississippi and it's very humid conditions during the summer, you know what I'm talking about! It can be very brutal not only for humans but for our furry babies. I had convinced my son to let them come indoors that summer. (By the way, they have never returned outside, and it's been three years now.)

One day I needed to pick up Jeremy from work. When we returned home, we had a big surprise. It is incredible what two dogs can do in an hour. The house looked like a tornado had been inside of it. A "Category 3" if I had to guess. There were pillows, cushions, clothes, and anything else they could find strung out everywhere. They had gotten one of the sofa cushions and just about shredded it to pieces. It looked like a small bomb had gone off inside of the living room.

Jeremy started walking through the living room and started cleaning up the mess. He stopped abruptly and gets quiet. I look over at Jeremy, staring down at the floor. He bends down and picks up a cushion cover. "How in the world did this get unzipped?" he asks me.

I looked at him and shrugged my shoulders. "Hmm, I have no idea, and how did the cushion get out of its cover," I asked. We start laughing, wondering just how did it get out of the cover. Jeremy asks the boy's and they look at him, confused, looking at each other. As if to say, do you know how cause it wasn't me that did it? Then looking back at Jeremy, wagging their tails happily, Jeremy decides to put the boy's outside while we finish cleaning up the mess.

The next day I went to pick my son up. I was unsure of what to do with the boys, and we had forgotten to discuss it the night before. So, I decided to text my son.

Mom: "Hey, what do you want me to do with the boys?"

Jeremy: "Put them outside. Don't need anything else torn up!"

Mom: "You know that it is 101 outside? The index is 115!"

Jeremy: "Yes, mom, and where I'm at, it is 123!"

Mom: "Ok, then if you're sure."

Jeremy text me back a few minutes later. "Have you left yet?"

Mom: "No, I'm just about to, though, why?"

Jeremy: "Don't put them outside."

Mom: "Ok, give me a bit. I have to bring their water bowl back in."

Jeremy: "Ok!"

Oops, I have forgotten to tell you that my son works on a military base and launches military aircraft. So he works in the extreme heat and cold.

So, I put the boys back in the house with their water and leave to go pick him up. I pulled up outside the gate, and Jeremy gets in the car. "We need to make a pit stop, that it shouldn't take very long," he said. The stop was on the way home, and it meant that we would be gone for an hour and a half total.

When we pulled up, I told him, "Brace yourself." As we walked into the house, it was as if the tornado had returned for a second round. This time it was a Category 4 if you can imagine. They destroyed even more than we could have imagined. A blanket now with gaping holes in it, looked like it had been used for tug of war. Another cushion, this time the cover and cushion were shredded to pieces, and the living room rug was pulled out from under the furniture with the corners chewed up.

Jeremy decided to let them outside while we cleaned up the mess. They were so ready to come back inside to get out of the heat. We had no idea what to do with them now. On the way home, Jeremy had asked if I could pick him up for the rest of the week. After talking about it, we decided that we could put them in the bathroom. What could they hurt in the bathroom?

The next day Jeremy texts me just before I'm to leave. "Are you sure you remember the plan that we agreed on with the dogs.

"Yes, I sure do!" I said. So, I put their water in the bathroom and both of them, making sure the doors were closed and I left to go pick Jeremy up.

As he gets in the car, "How's it going?" asks Jeremy.

"It's been pretty good," I replied.

"The boys go into the bathroom, alright? He asked.

"Yes, they did."

As we pulled up, he asked, "What can they tear up in a bathroom?"

Well, we found out just what they could tear up! Both bathroom rugs were shredded into pieces, a towel, and the toilet lid cover shredded also. "Well, at least it's contained in one room. Do you have any ideas? Mom, How are we going to get them to stop?" Jeremy asked.

"I have no idea at this point. We never had any of our babies do this, but mostly they were outside, remember?" I said.

He decided to put one rug each around their collars, to see what they would do. Marlin laid down immediately with his head tucked down into the rug hiding his face, and Gunner sat there at first, not knowing what to do, looking back and forth between us. He started to stare at the floor. His eyes began to get heavy with guilt. He strolled over to me and sat down next to me. He looked at his daddy and sighed as he fell to the floor. It was as if he knew that was his punishment for having a shredding party.

After a while, Jeremy took the rugs off of them and gave them hugs and love. They wagged their tails and gave us; I'm sorry licks. Everyone was happy again. I made us all a good dinner, and we watched some TV. We talked about leaving them in the bathroom for the rest of the week. With that decision, we all went to bed.

Amazingly, nothing happened the next day because we didn't have anything left for them to destroy, and they had been in the bathroom. Everyone was happy, and they received extra treats. Jeremy decided to give them a ride in the car to the lake for being good boys, while I fixed dinner.

It was the last day that I was to pick Jeremy up. The day that we didn't have a clue, it was going to be the day that the straw broke the camels back. I'd put them in the bathroom with their water and went to pick Jeremy up. We had decided that we wanted some fried chicken for dinner and stopped to pick some up. So we had been gone a little over 2 hours. Jeremy was so excited to be going home to see the boys. Jeremy told me that he planned on taking them to the lake when we got home, and we would eat when they got back. I was alright with that.

As Jeremy entered the house, I was right behind him. He stopped suddenly, I had one foot inside, and one in mid-air and I ran into the back end of him. He yelled, "What the crap? His hands are flying through the air, then dropping to his sides. I thought you put them in the bathroom?"

"I did it!" I told him. As I looked around his side, the boys were jumping up and down, greeting us. But, they stopped and laid down quickly when daddy yelled. Both of them laid their heads down on their paws. You could see them looking out of the corner of their eyes at Jeremy. With that "oh crap, I'm in trouble now," look on their faces.

Oh man, my eyes widen, and my mouth dropped as I looked around him. It looked like Christmas from the carport door through the kitchen, living room, and down the hallway. This time all the cushions were off the sofa and shredded to pieces. I can't believe the rug was pulled out from under the furniture. Pillows were all over the floor with the cushions and white stuff everywhere. Jeremy goes over to the back door, and not saying a word opens it and snaps his fingers. Marlin and Gunner ease up and slowly walk out the backdoor as he lets them out.

Never saying a word, he walks through all the snow that now covers the floor. He walks to the bathroom as he opens the door. He say's, "They got out through the bedroom door, Mom."

"It was closed," I told him. I was laughing as I walked into the bathroom.

"Guess they taught themselves how to open it!" he laughed.

As we cleaned up and it took some time, the boys were outside running around. As we were picking everything up, we found a total of three out of the five cushions, totally gone. Hence the snow effect ...Lol. Well, he now has another rug down, the living room rug shredded up beyond repair. This time it's an expensive replacement. To say that he doesn't have a rug in the living room anymore. So after we finished, I asked him, "What are we going to do now?"

Jeremy looked at me and smiled, "Take them to the lake. It's getting dark, and we won't be gone long."

I smiled at him and said, "Ok, I'll get everything set up and have it ready by the time you get back, then"

He opens the door to the backyard and lets them back in and heads out to the car. They all get in the car, and he starts to back out, parks the car, and he comes back in and runs to the bathroom. He opens the backdoor and says, "See you in a few" he goes out and comes back suddenly, "Come here, you have to see this," he's laughing. I walked out into the carport and looked in the car; the light was shining down into the car. I started laughing at what I saw. So, here is the adventure that you have been waiting for, but now you will get to imagine the story as it unfolds.

Marlin and Gunner had both decided to get in the front seat and are sitting there looking at us. So, I start to pretend what they were saying to each other. Jeremy is laughing at every comment that I'm making. I am talking in different voices, a baritone voice for Gunner, and a masculine one for Marlin.

Gunner: Hey, "Do you think they see us? Do you think they are still mad at us?" As he turns, looking at Marlin.

Marlin: Looking back at Gunner. "Not sure, but we need to stay still. We did it this time!!!"

Gunner: "Yeah, but we sure had fun!" Shaking his head at Marlin in agreement.

Marlin: His eyes widening as he looks out of the corner of them at Gunner. "Yep, I know, right!"

Gunner: Anxiously, he turns to look at Marlin then back at Jeremy. "What if they come closer? You need to take off, man!"

Marlin: "Really, and how am I suppose to do that? Looking at Jeremy, then back to Gunner. How did daddy get this to move? The next time we need to pay closer attention."

Gunner: "I have no idea! We get in and go! I never watched him!" His eyes set on Jeremy.

Marlin: "I don't know what to do!" As he's looking around the steering wheel. (As if he is trying to figure it out.)

Gunner: "HIDE, DADDY, "S COMING!" Gunner's eyes widened in sheer panic, and he starts to sway back and forth in the seat. "Man, we have done it now."

Gunner ducks down in the seat, and Marlin is panicking and isn't sure what to do. As Jeremy opens up the car door, he tries to get in, but Marlin has laid down on the seat and refuses to move. He finally gets Marlin up into a sitting position and squeezes into the driver seat with him. Covering my mouth and shaking my head in disbelief, I started laughing as they pulled out of the driveway with Marlin and daddy driving. When Jeremy returned, he told me that both of them stayed in the front seat, and neither one of them moved until they drove into the driveway.

As the weekends, we all get settled in for the weekend. We decided that we need to make sure the doors are all closed, and the bedroom door in the bathroom is locked. I can't say that this is the only mischief these two have gotten into, the future will tell us. They have personalities that I've never seen in two dogs and the biggest hearts. It amazes me how caring they really are. Until another day...


Word count: 2350
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