Procedure Training

Procedure Training; draft 1

          In the annals of evolution, there exist many imperfect and hideous creatures, all of them deviants. Indeed, the only creatures which are not blasphemous are those that have been created. Observe for example the beautiful bulldog. We’ve created them. We’ve bred them to love us and keep us from our lonely, but we ghastly creatures do not deserve their love. I have one already set up for the procedure. She has such immaculate folds of the skin, such beautiful jowls that fall like curtains beside her face, such perfect teeth that jut upward from her mouth, such an amicable smell.
          If you have sought this manuscript so earnestly then you are surely familiar with my research. You wish to be trained to carry out this procedure, and shed your revolting skin to be recreated in the image of a canine. Well, you have obtained the perfect document for such an endeavor, and I will not be so cruel as to make you wait longer for the steps involved.
          Before we begin, we must prepare. We must organize our tools on our work station with care. A disorganized workstation can make any procedure unbearable, and this is no exception. Place your scalpel in a ready position. Make sure your syringe is clean and has the correct medicine. We must also make sure that our gloves are washed thoroughly and are ready for use. We must be sure to inspect these objects with a microscope thoroughly for unseen creatures, which will blaspheme the procedure. Wash them again if necessary.
         Next, we must ready ourselves for the procedure. We must use the scalpel to remove any imperfections from our bodies. It is important, in this step, to proceed with care. You may numb yourself, but it is important to proceed carefully and slowly, as one might miss one of the many grotesque imperfections on the human body. Some are hiding, so look carefully. And above all, proceed slowly. When you are finished with this step most, if not all, of your imperfections should be gone. If not, look over yourself once more.
          Now, adorn the gloves to shield the bulldog from your disgusting hands. We must make the dog unconscious. Use the syringe for this. The bulldog may squeak or bark, but you must tell the bulldog not to be afraid. It will thank you when the procedure is done, when you and the dog are one. Next, we will replace our imperfections, which should be now removed, with the dog’s perfect skin. By the end of the procedure, we will have the fold’s of the skin, we will have the wonderful jowls, we will have the teeth that jut upward from the face, and we will have the delicious smell.
         OH I CANNOT WAIT! When I am finished, I will describe this last step in detail!


Only claw marks and blood were found on the document after this point. The body of the author was never found.