Proving Yourself

Harriet stumbled out of her little room, her feet tripping in her big pajama pants. She had a nightmare about some lady with red hair and a really loud noise which scared her awake. Dudley and her were starting daycare the next day, she was really excited to meet all the new kids. Maybe they would be nicer to her than Dudley who always tends to push her. But she likes looking at his teddy bear with different colored eyes so she doesn't mind.

She knocked on her Aunt's door, her face still sore from the last time Dudley pushed her to the ground. She knocked again louder, when Dudley had a nightmare or even cried, Petunia and Vernon always seemed to run to him so they could hold him. The door opened harshly, her Aunt glared at her shivering body.

"What do you want?" She hissed at her frightened niece only the age of 3.

"I- I had a nightmare," Harriet whimpered, why wasn't she running to hug her? Why wasn't she kissing her cheeks like Dudley's? Why wasn't her Uncle reading her a story to calm her down?

"So?" Her harshness boomed in Harriet's ears, she didn't care.

"I- I- I," She stumbled out, tears started to build up in her eyes but she didn't want to rub them. If she cried would they make her warm milk like they did for Dudley? Would they let her watch the tele for an hour?

"Next time, don't be selfish." With that, her Aunt slammed the door in her face and locked the door. Harriet cried softly in the hallway, too scared to go back to her little room. It was quite lonely in there, there was only a small bed with a few torn and thin blankets. Harriet curled up into a ball, hiding her face in her knees sobbing. She couldn't get the lady's red hair and the loud noise out of her mind. She soon fell asleep with a thought of hoping that the lady was alright. The next morning she woke up to her Aunt screaming.

"What are you doing?!" She yelled at Harriet who was still curled up against the opposite wall. She pushed back into the wall, she didn't like when people yelled. Loud noises are really scary.

"I was scared," Harriet sniffled, she was quite cold since she slept on the floor the whole night. But she can curl up in her bed tomorrow in her own room, right?

Her Aunt grabbed her by the collar of her shirt which was also Dudley's, "That's it!" She shouted loudly into her face. She dragged the small girl downstairs who had a hard time walking down the stairs when being dragged roughly. She walked around and headed towards the entrance of the house which made Harriet start to cry a bit, she didn't want to go outside. She hadn't eaten any breakfast and she was going outside already. Why wasn't she going to eat a big breakfast like Dudley?

Her Aunt forcefully opened up the small cupboard under the stairs, Harriet looked at it confused. Was she supposed to clean it? It was quite dirty and full of dust, there were cobwebs everywhere. Her Aunt threw her in the small cupboard casually and carelessly like she was only a simple coat, her head hit the wall and she whimpered at the sudden pain. She sat on the floor and looked up at her Aunt while she was crying.

She sneered at her shaking niece, "Freak." She slammed the door of the cupboard in her face, that day she was the first day she didn't eat at all. All she could do was cry softly in her shirt and play with the little spiders who seemed confused by her presence. She still would squeal when one brushed up against her leg. The dark scared her so much, but after a while, she got used to it. She found it comforting, she found the unknown exciting, thrilling. The dark hid her, protected her from harm while the light only

She had a bruise on her face for weeks the time she accidentally called Petunia 'Mom', because how dare a spectacled small girl call her 'Mom'. She was only a freak. Nothing else. She was 5 at that time. She was 6 when her Aunt told her how her parents died, and how she burned or got rid of their belongings. She was 6 when her Uncle put a lock on her cupboard because she tried to sleep with them like Dudley did when he had a nightmare. She was 7 when she found out her real name, she honestly thought her real name was freak since her family never called her anything other than that. She was 9 when she thought about running away, but she was too scared, she never had an courage. She was 10 when she became so bored with her everyday life, she wanted to change it but had no idea. She wanted to feel something but she couldn't explain what she wanted to feel, possibly happiness or passion. She never knew though. She didn't quite understand those feelings to begin with.

Her teachers never said anything, they always were curious when they saw new bruises every day. They wanted to say something. They really did. But in the small town of Little Whinging, everything must be perfect from the people to lawns to the school system. Having an abuse case in their small town will ruin their reputation completely, so they have to keep their mouths shut even if a few kids suffer greatly.

Harriet couldn't move for a week when she looked through some of her Uncle's papers, but she was only 7 years old. She was curious, her eyes always had to look at everything. Examine everything around her, her eyes sparkled with wonder and amusement at even the simplest things like ducks walking around the park or when the toast popped up. Petunia noticed as time went on, Harriet's eyes started to fill with fear. Her eyes would look up briefly as they wanted to see the world and explore but the fear of being hit scared her so she stopped looking at the world with such big round eyes. Eyes just like her mother, so vibrantly green. But... at times, there are sparks of mischief, mischief never was in the eyes of Lily. Lily's eyes also never had fear in them nor as much curiosity in them, but every time she saw Harriet eager to read a book, to dream and wish that magic existed, she only could think of Lily. Lily, her sister who always got all the attention and love. Her special sister, the important sister. She ruined her life. She was neglected because of those big green curious eyes, those same green eyes on the little freak only made Petunia suffer even more.

Petunia always made sure to rip up any books that Harriet brought home that were about magic. Harriet cried the day Vernon screamed at her that magic didn't exist, Harriet's face was so bruised and beaten the next day. Her eyes no longer sparkled with mischief nor curiosity, her vibrant green eyes only seemed dull now. Harriet's eyes no longer looked like Lily's, it was a good day.

One time Harriet was 5 years old and she drew a picture of her family, her Uncle Vernon, her Aunt Tune, and her Cousin Duds. Her Uncle refused to be called anything else and her Aunt always hated when Harriet called her that but she had a hard time forming words. It was the same nickname that the evil little boy used to call her that was friends with Lily. Dudley quite liked his nickname actually, it was different than the stupid nicknames his parents gave him. It was different from his 'friends' at school, it made him something other than a spoiled kid who is violent. When Harriet brought it home, she was so excited to show her Aunt. To show that they were a family, maybe her good artwork would let her eat a bit more for dinner. She was shaking with excitement, would her Aunt call them a family finally? She ran all of the way home, she wanted to let them know that she cared, she wanted them to be her family.

She burst through the door and walked up to her Aunt who was cleaning dishes, "Auntie! I drew a picture!" Her Aunt looked at her blankly and when she saw the picture of a small brunette with three other people. Each being labeled by their nicknames. Petunia said nothing but took the picture. Harriet's heart was going at a fast rate, she hoped she liked it. Petunia walked carefully over to the trash can and tore up the picture with no words, Harriet gasped and held back tears. She hated her picture, she promised herself that she would do better next time to make her Aunt happy.

"Don't cry," She sneered at her whimpering niece, "For Merlin's sake! You are such a bother!" She shoved Harriet in the direction of her cupboard, "Get in there!"

"But I haven't ate?" They always at least give her something like an apple before she sleeps.

"You are so selfish! You know that? Can't you think of anyone else for a change!" Her Aunt stomped off, to go finish the dishes. Harriet was left crying in her own cupboard for the rest of the night. She wondered a lot of things that night, why was she treated so differently from Dudley? They were family. Isn't family supposed to love each other? Harriet was rapidly realizing that wasn't true for all families.

The next morning, Harriet made breakfast for her family. She wanted them to know that she cared for them. She was only insulted and smacked upside the head with a frying pan because she burnt a few things. She also was pushed down multiple times that day by her cousin. Every insult became less and less harsh throughout her life, 'freak' by her family, 'bitch' from Dudley's friends, 'weirdo' from the other kids in school, and even 'loser' from a few girls who sometimes would pour their lunches onto her. The only ones who would ever talk nicely about her would be her teachers, saying how hard working she is, how kind she is. How brilliant she is, how independent she is, how she can solve problems so quickly and by herself. Harriet soon put all of her effort into her studies, since it was the only thing she was praised on, her family hated her cooking and drawing so she put all of her work into her grades. It was the only thing she could do to find at least one sentence of praise and she learned so much in the process, she also learned cooking and drawing tips so she can impress her family with it.

Learning was the only way she could feel happy, she felt so powerful and intelligent when she knew material years ahead of her. Learning put her ahead of all of the mean people around her, she could outsmart Dudley and his gang so she didn't get beaten up. She could confuse her Uncle so he wouldn't hit her. She could use her knowledge to get ahead of others, only to end up using her knowledge to help people. She wanted to change the world with her ideas, she didn't have the power though. Maybe one day she will. She will have the power to change how people are discriminated against for anything, their sexuality or simply how they grew up. Hatred is such an evil and sickening thing in the world, she never would hate anyone. That would defeat the purpose of what she wanted to change. She wanted to change how much hatred is in the world, she wants people to be happy and free. Something she is not. She wants others to be different, she never wants another child to face what she faced. She will make this happen, she will continue to learn until she could help others. She will continue to gain power, to gain knowledge in order to help the world around her. It takes only one person to change minds, she will be that person.