The distance between love and lost

The distance between love and lost
by Dominique Saczawa

It's been fifteen months since you've been near
our relationship has been overcome with fear
from the daily heartbreak to the struggles felt
this is only a portion of all that we've dealt

I lie to you- tell you that I am okay
why is that so hard to portray?
that I trust you, I believe you
when women would love to retrieve you

Yet I know you want nothing to do with them!
have I lost it? from where does this anger stem?
since when am I ready to aim a conviction?
over an unjustified feeling, a prediction?

Why do I cry, shed tears all through the night?
it takes all my energy to give up, not to fight
all the stress piled up, overflowing on my plate
but at the end of the day, it's not you that I hate

Forgive me for the things that I've done and all that is yet to be
I want this relationship to work, our love to be set free
we have a family that needs us, a boy who adores us
that's something that not even a whore can touch

His eyes are just precious with that innocence
all he needs from family is love and consistence
can we maintain, can we make it work as a team?
or is that just another thought lost in a daydream?

But I don't want our love based on a child
once upon a time, we were young and wild
we can get that back, I know it's there
spontaneous and fun.. a love so rare

Four months till you're home, sleeping in our bed
what a difference it'll make, I can get out of my head
I miss cuddling, our three kisses, holding you tight
I can't wait for sex all throughout the night

Do you realize you hold the only key to my heart
I need you here so you can give it a jumpstart
without you I'm lost, I'm hardly myself
living vicariously through my bookshelf

I stopped going out, I stopped seeing my friends
it's not you, but this depression never ends
I sit home bored out my mind, practically bumming
imagining the moment that I'll see you coming

These seldom weekend visits, they're not nearly enough
I know you're no longer in jail but there's an invisible handcuff
I know it's better but what's the point of a halfway house
If they hold you, they keep you away from your spouse

Patience they tell me, your day will soon come
Look where you've started... can't you smell the freedom?
I know that it's true; we've made it through hell and then back
but what the fuck does that matter when all I want is Jack?