You (Don't) Love Me

I loved you, at first,
more than anything.
Nothing else mattered,
If I could be by your side,
I would’ve protected you from a n y t h i n g.

I can still feel it,
your lips touching mine.
Without meaning,
absence of feelings,
And is it wrong I miss them?
It was the only attention I was ever given.

I saw it, your eyes drifting to others,
never straying to mine,
never filled with the same spark.
Always dull.
Lifeless.

You would say it,
those three words and I could only listen
as you say it to the others.
Not to me. Never to me.
They always got your love,
and warm smiles,
while you gave me your screams of disdain.
Telling me I should feel lucky.

My orders:
never to be near you,
holding hands was forbidden,
we did not know each other, not publicly.
They would get the wrong idea.
“She’s just a friend,” You would say.
Forcing me into a corner,
As your (pleaseithurtsithurts) collar leaves me
b r e a t h l e s s.

It was all a game.
Of how fast I could love you (whatwasithinking),
of how much I could bleed (Goditwaseverywhere),
of how long before I couldn’t take it (saveme,please,anyone).
You were the king,
and I, your faithful pawn,
Just a piece on your board.

Your touches, never warm, never tender
What an artist you were,
Always defacing your canvas with your brushes,
Aren’t you talented?
Is this what love is?
I take it back, please,
I don’t want this anymore.
I just wanna forget (getitoutgetitout).

“It’s okay, you don’t have to love me no one ever does.”