Addiction

I wake up and sometimes its all i think about. I go to sleep and its on my mind. Its not good for me, but i wont let go. I enjoy the high it provides when im at my lowest, even though it is the cause for me being at my lowest. I always say im going to quit and leave it alone, but the worst part of addiction is its dependency, the fact that you feel as though you cant go without. Knowing its not good for my health, the mental aspect of it mainly, should be enough to make me wanna stop. But maybe i enjoy the pain. Maybe i dont know any better. Maybe i do, but choose to ignore it. Eventually i will get it together and stop, but thats easier said than done. It takes a strong mind to walk away from what you love and enjoy, and im not quite there yet. So for now i will take the mental stress, the constant short term happiness and long term confusion on to why im doing this. These are the thoughts that go through my mind when i think about this girl that i cant get enough of...