Always Say Goodbye

Always Say Goodbye, You Don't Know What Could Happen If You Don't

I woke up to my dad knocking on my door, letting me know that it was time for me to wake up.

"Wake up Malaya, it's time for school."

Groaning, I rolled out of bed and went to my closet to see what I'm wearing for school. It's warm outside, so I threw on some leggings and a t-shirt. . As I walked down the hallway, I knocked on my brother's rooms and woke them up. Thankfully I have my own room, because there is no way I could survive sleeping in the same room as four other boys.

"Hello tatay, how's your morning been?" I said as I faked a smile.

"Well, I don't know, it's been alright."

I sat down at the table and started to eat breakfast, which tasted off that day. It just didn't taste like it usually did. Sweet, soft and gooey. I mean, it was all of those things, just not in the right way, you know? Dismissing that thought from my mind, I looked outside, saw other students leaving, and headed for the school.

Once I finished a 20 minute walk, I arrived at school and strolled into first bell. It's 1 hour of English. It's. So. Boring. I can't help it though. After English I go to math, then I go to science. That's all I had that day. I actually enjoyed days like that because I don't have a lot going on, and I get to see my dad before he leaves for work. I spend 4 hours at school, then leave for home.

"Tatay, are you still here?" I called out, waiting for a response.

"Yup, just about to leave, I have to grab my keys. Have you seen them?

"For the tricycle? I think they are in your room? Isn't that where you left them? I replied.

"Oh I do think I left them in there, would you mind getting them for me?"

"Alright" I say as I walk down the short hallway and into my dad's room. I pick up the keys, and walk out.

"Here ya go" I say to my dad while I tossed him the keys to the tricycle.

"Goodbye Malaya" He waved to me, and walks out the door.

I realize it's been an hour since my dad left, and I hadn't done any homework, so I did some. I did my science, math and English homework, and ended up having half an hour before I needed to be asleep. As I'm brushing my teeth, I hear my mom calling my name. She's screaming.

"Ernesto! I didn't get to say bye."
She started sobbing, and I rolled my eyes because I thought that it was just another one of my parents' fights. They scream at each other until my dad has "enough", then he storms out. The one thing, though, is that they always say goodbye. I don't know why, and I don't think I ever will. While I'm putting away my toothbrush, I hear sirens roaring comg from the St. Luke's ambulances. I hear police cars and even more sirens. After about 5 more minutes of my mom's sobbing, I go to see if she's okay.

Calmy, I approach my mother, "Hey, nanay, what's wrong? Are you okay?".

Between gasps for breath and short cries, I made out, "It's your tatay. I'm scared."
Hearing, "I'm scared" from someone who has never, ever, been scared, worried me.
"Nanay, what happened?"

I frantically pace around the room wondering what could've be scaring my mother. There were so many possibilities. Death? I thought, no, he was only 42. Could he have been lost or kidnapped? Maybe, but he's a grown man and I thought that the could protect himself. And lastly, what I didn't want to think about, could be have been hurting my mother? No, no way. There is zero possibility that he could be harming her. He loved her. Right? I sat down on the ground next to my mom.
"Nanay, tell me, please. I would like to help." I begged for my mom to answer me, but she didn't. She just sat there, and held me close. She whispered the words, "He's gone."
I knew what that meant. I didn't want to know what that meant but unfortunately, I had to set that aside and comfort my mother. She needed me then. She'll need me from now on. I spend around 30 minutes with my mom just holding each other and crying on the couch, before my two younger brothers came downstairs, claiming they couldn't sleep.

"Um, nanay, what's wrong? What happened? Are you guys okay?" my youngest brother Julian said in a panic.

"Yes, er, Malaya, can you please take them to bed and explain?" she asked me.

"Yes, nanay. I'll be back in a little while. I love you."

"Come on guys, follow me," I told my brothers, while I lead them to their room.

"So, does anybody want to guess? Any of you know what happened? Who it has to deal with? I asked while trying to calm them.

"Well I know that someone is hurt, probably dad, and that it could be very bad," Julian replies.

"Okay... Well, do you want me to tell you right on, or sugar-coat it?" I tried to make it easier for them to understand and accept the fact that their father has just died, but I'm not so good at that.

"Well, um, tatay, is no longer with us. Do you two understand what that means?" I asked.

"Do you mean he's dead?" Julian asked me in a somewhat cowardly tone, almost like he was scared.
"Yes, it does, but he's still with us. Do you understand me?" I said, trying to assure that it would be okay and that they have nothing to worry about. "He still loves us and he still knows we care. Okay?"

"Oh, okay. Goodnight Malaya," Julian said to me, seeming like he was about to break down.

"Goodnight Julian, I love you".

I went back to sit down with my mom, but she was asleep on the couch, so I put the blanket over her shoulders and whispered, "Goodnight Nanay".

After I get home from school, my mom sat me down and told the something that would change my life forever. It could help me, it could not. She told me that I would have to quit school and work in the factory to help support my family, or go live with another family.

There is no way I am leaving my mom and brothers. I decided to quit school, and I went to the factory. It took 2 weeks for me to be mentally ready to work, and once the day came, it was hard. I walked into the factory I would be spending half of my life at, and was extremely disappointed. I saw so many faces that looked sad and disappointed and miserable. I thought to myself, "I really don't want to spend my time here.".

Guess I had no choice.