Serving Means Loving

Serving Means Loving  (13+) Writer's Cramp entry January 2, 2019 #2178798 by Chris Breva

857 words

Prompt: "You can't live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you."

I have found that the key to being blessed in life is generosity. It does not matter what walk of life you come from nor what your religion may be. If you are generous you will find that you are blessed. I am a Christian and my beliefs are based on the Holy Bible so I will probably rely on it for my arguments. However there are lots of religions where generosity is encouraged because generosity is a basic truth. Truth is universal and of course it is going to make its way into religions. It makes no difference if a person is atheist, Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Wiccan, Animist, or whatever. Truth is universal and love is a universal truth. All religions (or non-religions) know that the benefits of forgiving others far outweigh any benefits one might receive from carrying a grudge. As a future therapist I have studied the human mind. I know that my biggest task in the future will be to help any clients who cross my path deal with the hurt from their past. As humans we think it is okay to carry grudges. What we don't realize is that carrying a grudge is like loading a bag full of bricks and dragging it everywhere we go. The bricks may be small or they may be heavy but we carry them everywhere we go. We take them to bed with us and carry them all day long. The more grudges we have the heavier our load becomes. Finally we get little else done but nursing our grudges. Who wants to carry a ton behind them all the time? I certainly don't! I spent a large portion of my life carrying grudges. I became addicted to drugs as a result and was addicted for years. I finally got clean in a 12 step program that I no longer attend. One of the 12 steps required me to honestly write down all of my grudges and identify the emotion behind those grudges. I thought the emotion was anger but much to my surprise I realized the emotion was fear. When I dealt with my fear I was able to let go of my grudges and forgive those who had harmed me. I realized most of all that I had harmed myself more by carrying those grudges than I had harmed those who hurt me. My grudges do not harm them in the slightest. They go about their lives never giving me a second thought while I am consumed with rage about them! It was senseless on my part. In the end I had helped them in hurting me by extending their harm far beyond what they intended!
The 12 step program also taught me that if I wanted to stay clean I had to pull my head out of my behind and start serving others. It taught me essentially that there was a God and I was not God. For the atheist it taught me that the world did not revolve around me. I was a mighty small fish in a mighty huge ocean. It taught me that the only path to healing was through service. I began to do little things to help others. At first my service work was merely cleaning ashtrays after the 12 step meetings. However I found that even that simple act gave me a sense of purpose. It felt good. I went on to serve the program in many ways, even serving as the regional secretary. In all these things I found that pulling my head out of my behind and helping others left me feeling useful and blessed. Most of all it helped me quit thinking about the harm others had done to me. In itself that was a gift. I was in the 12 step program for about five years and served in many positions. Then one night I was walking home from a meeting and walked past a church. The church was holding a service so I decided to go in. I listened to the preacher as he essentially told my story. Then he gave an invitation. I got up with every intention of leaving. I was sitting at the end of the pew in the very last row so all I had to do was turn left and leave. I stood up, turned right, and went up to the preacher, confessing that he had told my story, and asking him to baptize me. I can't explain what happened but I know it changed me. I wanted to do even more service than I had been doing so I left that church and became a soldier in the Salvation Army, where I have tons of opportunities to serve. Service gets me out of myself. The days I do not serve others are now my worst days. When I serve I do not expect even a thank you because I get more out of it than the one receiving. It is a blessing to give of oneself.